That guy on the left looks like John Kerry. Who the fuck is that hideous freak on the right?

Next on the Discovery Channel: John Kerry's lurch to the presidency.

Moe damaging to Kerry's campaign than his comments on Vietnam was his secret career as an actor on the Addams Family.

kerry (on the right)
left: democrats in the lurch

"Of course we're twins, and I never asserted otherwise. What I said was and back then, you know, Lurch and I were absolutely interchangeable."