1994 Geo Metro 3 cylinder, 5 speed hatchback.
It's current modifications are:
1. An uninsured moron speeding through a stop sign forcibly removed my front bumper.
2. My neighbor backed into me and dented the side.
3. The previous owner backed into her friend and smashed the passenger taillight and rear bumper.
4. In an effort to avoid hitting my neighbor, I drove too close to the side of the carport and completely removed the driver's side mirror.
5. The strong Wyoming wind tore the driver's side rain shield off.
6. The driver's side window froze shut in Nebraska once and in an attempt to pay a toll booth, it broke off and slid into the door. Many repairs later, it doesn't close properly, sits askew, and sticks.
7. The electrical system went buggy last year. The dash lights flicker or won't come on, which is fun to drive at night when I can't tell how fast I'm going. No one can find the problem or will charge more than the car's worth to fix it.
I haven't driven it in a while, because I got a new car. Currently I have plans to turn the Geo into a rocket-powered go-cart.
My "new" car is a 2002 Honda Civic. I got it right before I lost my job this August and even then I couldn't afford it, but it was the first car I saw on the lot and had everything I could want. AC and cruise control (never had either before), 4 (count 'em 4) cylinders, pretty green color, room for actual passengers (unlike the clown car Geo), and 5 speed. Plus it's a Honda Civic so it will last at least ten years. I figured a car so perfect for me at that moment was either a sign from god or temptation from satan. Either way, I got the car.
I put in a CD player and Darwin fish. That's the only modifications I made on it. That's the only modifications I will make on it. I will never fuck with the engine, interier, or exterior. I was excited that this one had no spoiler on it. There will not be stupid fancy hubcaps or cheesy running lights. I will not be an idiot and have my stereo system displayed on the back window so everyone will know what to steal. I will not paint it with stupid colors like an orange body with green chinese dragon. I will not spend more money than I make just to prance around like a dandy and look like all the other freaks who don't know what a muffler is. I have it insured and warrantied out the wazoo so I don't have to pay for anything but gas, tires, and oil changes.
And if some fucker steals it to modify it into some abomination, I will track him down and beat him with a rusty tire iron. This is the newest car I've ever owned. There's nothing wrong with it; it starts when I want it to and doesn't stall in the middle of a major intersection (like my 90 Tercel always did). It has modern things in it, an electrical system that works, noise dampening so I can actually hear the stereo, etc. It's perfect.
So proclaimeth Ivy, paranoid car owner.
