My name is J to the E to the S U S
Between two peices of rye much better than sex
I could take you all on with my free form skills
Then consume your flesh cause I eats what I kills

If any of you want to take me on here's where to do it.

you call yourself a sandwich but your rhymes are like molasses,
i'm cringing like a Falcons fan when Michael Vick drops back and passes,
i'm surprised you spelled JESUS right since you read at a 3rd grade level,
you got street cred like Vanilla Ice and a complexion like Aaron Neville.

Well Mandingo is a loser that info's not new
But did you know that he grew up in a shoe?
His mother was a slut and thats all they could afford
Its tough growing up the when your mothers the town whore

hold up, did you seriously just rhyme new and shoe?
and if you think afford and whore rhyme, have a cat scan or two.
get out a thesaurus next time because your raps are making me sick.
if you "eats what you kills", you must kills a lot of dick

Your rhymes are generic and your scheme is busted
With this shit flying round it makes me want to get dusted
Like Dustin Diamond from Saved by the Bell
I talked to God Dingo, he says your going to hell.

Yo its the illest motherfucker this side-a Philly
And both of youse punk-asses rhymes be silly
If you got a problem, I got a problem solver
His name is .357 revolver

quote:

---

If you got a problem, I got a problem solver

---

Zimri where'd you get a dumb name like that?
Did you sign up and then pull it out of a hat?
It could've have even come from your ass
As Bunner would say you got NO CLASS

JesusSandwhich you're a loser freak and your rhymes are suspect
No wonder your mom hangs out with me and we get wrecked
She talks so much about you after she gives me head
That I just got to kick her skeevy ass out of bed

quote:

---

As Bunner would say you got NO CLASS

---

By the way, this is the best idea for a thread in forever.

I got forties, dimes, and an Escalade
Who da hell you ta talk nigga? I be fuckin made
Da ladies be starin, cuz mah chrome rims glarin
Got a fat blunt in my hand but you know i'm not sharin

BigFrank one-o-five
all talk and no jive
got a blunt in his hand
but i sell 'em on demand

oh whaat boooyyyy

Possum o possum where do you live?
Because one I'd like to stick you with a shiv
You say Frank is much gayer than you
But seriously that would be impossible

quote:

---

You say Frank is much gayer than you
But seriously that would be impossible

---

Possums oh why do you fuck the nuns
There crusty coochs are no better than hun
Attilla and his crew want to gang bang you
something patio funiture old bogey togey foo

quote:

---

something patio funiture old bogey togey foo

---

quote:

---

get out a thesaurus next time because your raps are making me sick.
if you "eats what you kills", you must kills a lot of dick

---

quote:

---

quote:

---

As Bunner would say you got NO CLASS

---

OWNED MOTHERBITCHES

---

325968

325977

HEY! This 'aint no comic showcase.
I should take those strips and shove 'em in your face!

Yeah.. probably.

quote:

---

quote:

---

quote:

---

As Bunner would say you got NO CLASS

---

OWNED MOTHERBITCHES

---

Mother of mercy, you kids are a caution, with your fancy 104 keyboards and your-wired-up-to-everything Windows thingies.

: )

---

quote:

---

quote:

---

something patio funiture old bogey togey foo

---

Should I start the count now?

---

All you fuckin' honkeys are straight up frontin'
Sit yo damn asses down while I go cracka huntin'
Jesus, I don't know why you lead this "punk" lifestyle
you'll prolly end up a cokehead and a pedophile
Dingo I hope your poker gets you very far
because your rhymes won't, they are older than YOU are
possums, I don't know what fuck you are thinkin'
while you bitch and moan, bunner is just sittin' back blinkin'
Now I must leave you, I got some bitches to bang
they ain't crackwhores, they're just addicted to my wang

(I love you all, really.)

Flow like a Harpoon Daily and Nightly
Will it ever stop?
Hell No!
Light up the stage like a candle
K A E ...oh hell with it.

cpausti? ain't that kid like eight?
it's past your bedtime and getting late
so brush your teeth like your mommy said
adults are talking, off to bed

Mandingo why you gotte mess on that kid
Is it his fault that you fucked that squid?
Is that what the Republicans made you do?
Look out folks its CHUBBY number 2

quote:

---

---

I'm thinking

Cold coolin' at a bar, and I'm lookin' for some action
But like Mick Jagar said, "I can't get no porn-attraction"
The girls are all around, but none of them want to get with me
My threads are fresh and I'm looking def
Yo, what's up with K-A-E-NASH?
The girls I saw jokin' at the other end of the irc
Havin' drinks with some no-name chump
When they know that I'm the (1) star
So I got up and strolled over to the other side of the internet
I asked the guy, "Why you so fly?"
He said, "Rufies"

quote:

---

I'm thinking

---

I'm not really a poet or a rapper, and you know it,
But I'll step out and show it, though I know you'll say just stow it.
I'm not really a stripper, making comics ain't my strength,
But what I lack in talent, well, I make up for with length.

Droppin' lyrics like bombs, takin' bitchez to proms
I paid for a ho and all I gots was yo' moms.

DexX and ladyj sitting in a tree
b-i-t-c-h-i-n-g
first comes love, then comes marriage
then all we can hope for is a miscarriage

in case it's not clear from DexX and my argument over in the New Definition of Ass thread, that rapzor is just a jokezor. i love DexX long time

MC Kaenash that''s right you know I''m back ho From the dead where I had to lay low Seems strange but I ain''t changed nothing Pot smokin'' beer drinkin'' mother fucker that''s me In the flesh and I guess I''m the best In the muther fuckin midwest cuz there''s no contest For the pimp in the pimp of the nation So fuck college and a good education All we need to learn is how to hold hands Then we could live in peace in my homeland God damn the way my pain swells I spend all my time killin'' brain cells The light shed on me was a dim gleam So I live life in a bottle of Jim Beam Droppin'' dots or sniffin'' that blow black, I go to sleep at night watchin'' Kojak Fuck hoes cuz I''m no big fag Roll with Zig Zags like to read skin mags When I shoot I never miss and if I played the bass I''d probably pluck it like this... People wanna know what I''m thinkin'' but I don''t care So I keep my thoughts in a bottle of Cuervo Just a wild young buck Got banned from the shelter but I really don''t give a fuck Cuz I still be clownin'' suckers be frownin'' Forties of Busch I be poundin'' I ain''t dead in the head like Manson I''m more laid back than muther fuckin'' Ted Danson Hanson brother style when I''m rumblin'' Couple of shots of Don Q and I be stumblin'' Fumblin'' footballs hangin'' in the pool halls Out late night with my crew stealin'' U-hauls I''m not into havin'' clean fun I step into the party strapped with a machine gun But I''m no gangster like Gotti I''m just an M.C. to put the boogie in the party Back in black plus a new track And I won''t quit till your ears blow from feedback When I shoot I never miss And if I played the guitar I''d probably strum it like this... So give it up bitch cuz I''m the MC Kaenash And today I know you don''t wanna get shot You look gay you''re too cliche So fuck all y''all hoes and yo Chuck pass the jay Sellin'' me out like bitches to make a quick buck But muther fuckers like y''all just have no luck Your little plan was a flop Tryin'' to get em on by sellin out the MC Kaenash A part of me was with you but yo he died, And I''m glad you stepped off cuz I ain''t givin'' no free rides You little bald headed peon And fuck it mother fucker if you want it lets get the beef on Cuz I''m sure I''m sure ya Are gonna try to come back around but I''ll ignore ya It only takes one shot to floor ya Cuz I''m MC Kaenash bitch and I''m real mutha for ya Better jet so cuz I won''t let no hoes from the metro Take mine what up doe Come look son I''m number one... Cuz I worked like a bitch to get the job done In the twilight zone with Rod Serling I ain''t goin'' bald so fuck Sy Sperling When I shoot I never miss And if I played the harmonica I''d probably blow it like this... (cool harmonica solo, and I am out! peace!)

Straight out the midwest
like a retard it's Kaenash
Try'na take SC by storm
with his weak-ass '70s form
quotin' skits but never writein'
Shit, we all grew up with Python
A fucking blight on SC
He bites the style of blt

YO YO all of y'all fuckin suck u dont like wat im saying well u ran out of luck cause there is one thing i have to say is that ur a bitch and your gay i know ur boyfriends everbodt knows its ray your gay thats all i have to say

This Is To the guy who created this forum fuck u and have a nice day!!!!!!! piece

Whats this piece of shit doing in my thread?
Dont you you to join you have to give me head
And your rhymes are annoying and skills are shit.
Go jerk off to some more shemale tits.

Hey yo, JS, don't be frontin' that mess
with all the foo's at stripcreator i'd be expectin' no less
we got tards from the reaches of the idiot landscape
victims of the inadvertant cranial manrape
this fool wwefan, be just tha status quo
but don't think i be lying when i say he's still a ho

shiiiiieeettt

Man, this freestyle rap battle thread is the best.
Fuck that other shit, blt won't show you her breast.

Or the other one.

MC CP fade away, biatch.

there's only two pages
in this rap battle thread
ya'll need to post more
don't leave this thing dead!

Possums, it's ok. Settle down.
I just found the thread & I'm bringing it back to town.
50 Cent can move over, Eminem can kiss my arse,
Because as far as a talent test would go, we all know they'd never pass.
My skills ain't that mad, I really suck when I spit it,
But I've got good grammar at least, I have to admit it.
I'm a female Aussie & Amber is my name,
I have koalas in my backyard & I keep my kangaroos tame.
Steve Irwin is my bitch, & he loves it, no doubt,
Stripping & pimping is what I'm all about.
So here comes Hughesy, watch out for my rear,

(sampled intro 4 bars)

Yo, Yo, uh-huh, yeah (4 bars)

(sampled chorus 4 bars)

Yeah, uh-huh, for real, uh (4 bars)

(sampled chorus)

(some other random obscure rapper, 4 bars)

(sampled chorus fade out to end)

Oh my God. What the hell? Let's get some talent in here.
That took absolutely no skill, this much is clear.
Do not collect 200 dollars, do not pass go,
This thread is seriously losing steam, yo.

The young scot is wasted and jaded on life
He goes into chatrooms to find him a wife
But under the covers every night he's jerking
he's at the wrong genitals cause tonight it's not working
and his mom and his dad dont know what
been to doctors and psychiatrists before they were through.
But in the end they only found one thing
Their son sucks cocks with a silver tongue ring.

Find all the errors in that stanza and win a free pill of XTC.