i don't want to alarm anyone, but Chuck Norris demands the blood of virgins. we are to throw them into the mouth of the volcano, lest our bountiful funny doth noth bloom in the spring. when i pointed out to Him that we have not a volcano, He instructed us to instead pour honey on them and let the Purple Lava Ants devour them. i then pointed out that we don't have Purple Lava Ants and that in fact no such species of ant exists, and also that we used up all the honey when He instructed us to coat Vern with it and push him off the cliff, then kick him to death when he got lucky and landed in the back of that garbage truck. so now He hath conceded the ant honey point and instructed us to simply rough up the virgins a bit, or at least make them say "Uncle." i suggested "Uncle Chuck" but He was displeased with this so i'm sorry, Earl, but we've gotta spin you around until you're dizzy and then shoot you in the face. bad break, man.
so, any virgins in the audience? if so, please form a line behind Kajun
