Twas the night before an average day,
Not a user was stirring, not even teh ghey;
The forums had completely quieted down,
And most of the Stripcreators were drunk in town;
The teetotalers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of getting laid danced in their heads;
And Brad in Canada, and kaufman with his cat,
Had just smacked down the last FGH spat,
When in RMDC there arose such a commotion,
Even choadwarrior put down his tissue and lotion.
Away to the forums Scyess surfed like a muthafucka,
Roared into the threads and pounced on the sucka.
All was briefly quiet and we went back to sleep,
Dreaming of boobs, balls, and even Scottish sheep,
When, despite the smackdown what should appear,
But a n00b on ecstacy, crack, and a few pints of beer,
With a misspelled thread he started from scratch,
The n00b proclaimed he was Lord of the Cabbage Patch.
More vapid than blt, his words they came,
And he ranted and raved, and called us by name;
"Hey Rabid! hey, Phreaky! hey, Noonie and Kajun!
Oh, Chicka! oh Ivy! oh, BigFrank and Dougan!
Yuo guoyys all suckz0rz! Yuo guoys thibnk yuo knwo all!
Now suck ym cock! scuk my cock! suck my cock lol!11!1!"
As stunned as we were, we really didn't give a funk,
But figured we might as well smack the little punk,
Just for fun, you see, we'd nothing else to do,
But lay the smackdown on n00bs til they cry "boo-hoo."
With a mighty roar, each unoccupied stripper was summoned,
To action against the n00b; he must be pummeled.
As little_kitty unsheathed her claws to draw some blood,
Kaenash threw the first punch, slinging fistfuls of mud.
LuckyGuess took up the fearsome battlecry,
"Go away you piece of shit or we'll knock you awry!"
The n00b ranted and raved, like a tribal warrior gone mad,
And he promoted his blogs, his profiles, whatever's the new fad.
Crabby sprang into action--how his wit did bite!
While dcom egged everyone on, staying out of the fight!
Jes_lawson popped up, for a brief bit of time,
But scuttled away to earn money in the daily grind.
Boorite responded with a well-placed cock joke,
Backed up by a fiercely scathing hiss from Woodsmoke.
Kajun took this opportunity to show pictures of his new baby,
That didn't surprise any of us anymore, even squidrabies.
The n00b was surprised, that we had come with such force,
But craved the attention, so stayed the course.
By this point, we were getting a bit sick and tired,
The fun was running out on this game, but the n00b was still wired.
He was getting desperate, and screamed even more,
Spankling thanked God; this was a day he had been waiting for.
With a smack! and a slap! he dominated the n00b's ass,
(While netnannies everywhere thought this behavior most crass).
Not being able to withstand our combined power,
The n00b became fearful and began to cower.
As the battered n00b fled from our view,
We all called out "RAAR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!"