Maybe Mom wouldn't have to get drunk if you stopped dressing in women's clothing.

Yeah right, Honey. And maybe she won't be blowing the Fuller Brush salesman, either.

And maybe that incident where you got pregnant after you fucked your math teacher in the janitor's closet for a passing grade was just a dream.

MAYBE DAD WON'T BE SHOOTING COKE UP HIS PENIS TODAY!

But Trixie was SOL...

She looks like Stockyard Channing!

or Grodie Foster