Everybody always said I was talking out of my ass, so...

i warned the guy in the row behind me what i would do if he kept talking through Final Destination 9...

if you ignore the spine it looks like two aliens playing cards

and the one on the right's cheating!

Says the doctor: "I knew it was a bad idea to make cell phones that vibrate!"

Unlike his ass anymore, Richard Bronson's phone was still a Virgin...

Introducing Motorola's new phone, the iDominant.

I keep saying no to crabby, but my ass has him on speeddial.

You call that a cell phone? I could shit a better cell phone than that.

Hey, do you mind? I'm just colon someone

Wrecked 'im? No, he'll be OK after they pull the phone out of his asshole.

--'hurry and find me a bathroom, i got a cancer head poking out!'

--luckily he had toilet paper roll over minutes

--call free on weekends had sounded so great, he never even thought to check the small writing for words like 'cold hands' or 'old men with ponytails'

--he needed to shit for a week but unfortunately he was still roaming

--what i'd like to do to every parent who talks on a cellphone when they take their kid to a park

That phone better be made out of some Grade A, pure Colombian gold.

With his new cell phone's speakerphone feature, Ron explained to his ESL class that "talking out of your ass" was to be taken literatlly.

quote:

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With his new cell phone's speakerphone feature, Ron explained to his ESL class that "talking out of your ass" was to be taken literatlly.

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His friend told him he could get better reception this way. Now he can actually get five bars!!

It didn't help that his ringtone was "Gaseous Eructation" by Kid Flatulence.