A day like any other at the pizzeria, except...

"...hell yeah, there'll be plenty of Schlitz Ice. The Don wouldn't have had it any other way."

"Hell of a party is right. Now if you'll excuse me, I got about 100 cases of Schlitz Ice to go pick up."

"I guess this is gonna be goodbye, my old mentor."

"But as God is my witness, we'll give you a sendoff like you wouldn't believe."

Soon...

"Sorry, Mr. DeNiro. We're all outta Schlitz Ice... and all the other good beer, too!"

"What? You gotta be shitting me."

"Afraid not. We've had a run on it. One guy bought out every place in town yesterday."

"We still got Heineken."

"We still got Amstel Li--"

"Listen. I wanna know who bought that beer. I want his name, I want his address, I want his fucking shoe size."

"Dunno his name. Paid cash. Pudgy li'l Siamese fella, about knee-high."

"What, a cat?"

"Well, I ain't never heard of no Siamese dog, Mister... so does this mean the tribute party's off?"

"The hell you say. I'm gonna find this little Siamese fuck and explain to him who the fuck Don Knotts is."

WILL BOBBY DENIRO COME THROUGH WITH THE BREWS? OR WILL THE MEMORY OF THE DON BE FOREVER DISGRACED? TUNE IN NEXT TIME!!

FUCK THE WHAT

Wow. DiNiro's acting has never been more dynamic. The pregnant pauses, the age-regression -- so evocative of a hardened criminal momentarily transported to an earlier and more innocent time -- this has to be ranked among his best work.

I wasn't aware that people outside of Milwaukee knew of the existence of Schlitz. I guess it's why the suicide rate has gone up.

A work of genius

quote:

---

I wasn't aware that people outside of Milwaukee knew of the existence of Schlitz.

---

MD 20/20 here.

Mmm, MD 20/20, the perfect prelude to a bottle of Buckfast.

VS.
Al Pacino Cafe

OMGWTFWHOWINS??1?LAZERPEWPEW!!1!one

pacino. durr.

I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO MR. DENIRO AND HIS INTOXICATING BEVERAGES!!!

In that case, I shall make another installment post haste!

BRILLIANT! Fuckin' genius! You are a demi-god!
Fucking-A-Skippy that was good. Thankyouthankyouthankyou.

I too am curious as to what happens next. And we drank Schaeffers as a lad. Disgusting, disgusting shit. And Boone's and MD.

yeah this was kind of the best thing ever. make more.

The Beast will always have a special place in my heart.

Back during my dark ages, when I worked for a beer distributor for a summer, we used to carry this nasty, nasty shit called Naragansett. It was so cheap, it didn't even come in packaging. Just a cardboard flat underneath the sixers. We nicknamed it Nagasaki.

Also that summer, I busted an entire pallet of Miller High Life and really didn't feel bad about it at all.

I'm pretty sure High Life is my favorite beer that I can afford on a regular basis. However my absolute favorite is anything Leinenkugel's, especially their Honey Weiss and Sunset Wheat.

Liney rules but I gotta say Huber Bock offers a helluva lotta bang for your buck.

BOORITE! FINISH THE STORY!!!

In the ATL, there's a brewer called Sweetwater and they make a holiday brew called Festive Ale. Might I suggest that if you're local liquor store carries it that you should purchase it and drink it.

Thats so good I may have to post it on my blog!!!!!!

Again, this guy is a god here!

We used to drink Fisher beer in California in the old days for 80 cents a six pack. Now regular beer was like 2.50 a sixer in those days so you can see how awful Fisher beer was. And when we really wanted to get wrecked we followed it up with a quart of Red Mountain Vin Rose at 98 cents a quart. But it wasn't really wine. It was fortified grape juice. Ahh the good old days. I'm surprized I have any brain cells left.

Nowadays if you wanna get drunk off wine you really can't go wrong with chugging Franzia White Zinf straight from the box.

I wish I had known as a kid that if you crack the seal on white grape juice and let it sit for about 10 days without letting ants in you will get alcohol (read - wine) that you can pretty easily drink.

This DeNiro story needs to be finished...

I hereby retract any and all positive statements that I may have made previously about Boorite, and disavow any of his so-called work.  I want to make it clear that I now think he is a punk and I'm glad he left.

And the white horse he rode in on.