Who here is going trick or traitoring? I certainly will, dressed to the hilt.

I'll be Rorschach from Watchmen, so keep your eyes open.

I'll be sitting at home with the porchlight off, watching horror movies, like I do every other night.

We don't have a "porch light" so much as it's a "burned out bulb" on "the front stoop." With any luck it will be covered in ice to deter the little parasites from taking our coveted candy. Those are my Dots, motherfuckers!

Also, boorite's going to be the antichrist and I'm a superhero's secret identity. So we're wearing our normal clothes.

I'll post some pictures of me in my costume as soon as I get them. My costume was SO tits money bacon

I knew there were a lot more reasons why I loved boorite and ivy. One hallowe'en I went as a jogger. Sweat pants and t-shirt. It's the minimalist approach.

One of my roommates has cerebral palsy and walks funny, so he went to a costume party as the Minister of Silly Walks, and I and my other roommate dressed in black and went as his bodyguards. We have candy for trick-or-treaters, but all the good stuff is for us.

People always act like they only buy candy on Halloween and get all stingy about handing it out. Do yourselves a favor and start buying candy more often so you don't have to make kids cry constantly.

I'm doing the mommy-holding-the-flashlight thing for Halloween. Don't know if I'll Tinkerbell it up or not. I'm totally getting pictures if I do, I need pics of Travis as Cap'n Hook anyway. I probably won't get Nate to dress up either. I think he burned his costume.

It's pretty cold tonight and it's a pretty small costume.

My friends threw a big party and we had alot of fun digging up fresh corpses from the nearby cemetery and gluing their eyeballs to trees. I dressed up in the skin of a dead hooker, while my friend hanged a transient from a big branch and kids kept poking it with a stick to see if it was real (fleeing in terror when they discovered the truth). The midnight sacrifice to Satan was the highlight, as always. I'm Looking forward to next year already.

This weekend I partied and dressed up as Nelly. I think Chicka can appreciate that I was decked out in full "STL" gear. However, not as many people recognized me as I hoped and just thought I was another pompous Cardinals fan asshole.

Halloween has been cancelled on our estate for the third year running.

The knobs from the residents commitee (i.e the old giffers) decided that bunches of kids running around screaming and generally enjoying themselves was frightening and/or disturbing residents who weren't interested in letting their hair down and having a bit of fun. I mean let's face it, there's nothing scarier or disturbing than a five year old dressed as a witch is there? So posters were made and distributed to the fun hating bastards to put on their doors to stop the scary children from knocking. That didn't work because the kids either ignored them or couldn't read them. So flyers were posted through every door asking parents to keep the children to avoid disturbing any one.

So I've been out and got the biggest pumpkin I could find and have carved a rather large erect prick on it and plan to place it on the doorstep of the resident commitee leader's house. Just for holiday kicks.

Oh, I'm not stingy with candy and hoard it for myself. On the contrary, every year I went out of my way to spend what meager savings I had on candy for trick-or-treaters. I didn't get that crappy orange and black peanut butter taffy either. I always got the good mini candy bars and shit. And every fucking year, despite the porch light blazing and the obviousness of someone being home and willing to freely give out candy, no one showed up. And then I was left with five to ten gallons of candy, little of which I could eat, so it either went stale because no one ever visited, or it got thrown out.

So this year they can stay the fuck away. I'm spending the candy money on books.

i'm going to a Black Label Society show tonight. i don't really care for their music, but everything is comped cuz of the club i work at, so why the hell not go and get fucking idiotically drunk for free...

I'm on the left. I wish I was the broad on the right.

Here's a picture I made of Halloween Ed.

*is the wannabe Nelly on the right*

I had someone draw the STL logo on my right arm, but for some reason I have no pictures that show my right arm. Fuck.

I want to wear a burka. Not for Halloween. For every day.

I'm writing a paper! HOORAY.

Biped, suck my dig oer i'll, kill youe tiger.

Hope you're ready for total cuteness.

Travis stars in these two crappy camera phone pictures as Captain Hook:

And in that second picture, crouched down in the back, with a bat headband over my winter hat, is me.

I think you ment "Space Captain Hook".

Which is much cooler.

I was working whilst all the kids were out trick or treating, got home about 11 to find out that no kids came and we had all these sweets just lying around.....

SUGAR RUSH!!!!!!

I got home at 6:30, and we only had two groups of kids after that. Someone told me several groups came around before 6:30.

HEY MOMS! NOT EVERYONE HAS BEDDY-TIME AT 9:00 PM! BRING YOUR DAMN KIDS BY AT A REASONABLE HOUR OR THEY DON'T GET SHIT!

So now my co-workers will have to suffer from leftover Halloween candy... which is fine, because these are probably the same type of people who think trick-or-treating starts at 5:00.

When I was a kid, we trick-or-treated after dark. Otherwise, what's the point? Sure, some of us got hit by cars. It's supposed to be a scary holiday of death.

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Biped, suck my dig oer i'll, kill youe tiger.

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Read was a dinosaur. I might post a picture later of the incredible cuteness.

I just wore my "this is my costume" glow-in-the-dark t-shirt.

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I just wore my "this is my costume" glow-in-the-dark t-shirt.

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My Rorschach costume looked awesome, but I couldn't see anything. After a few houses we returned to base and I got rid of the mask, changed hats, and continued as Joseph Stalin. The coat was all wrong, but I still looked pretty dope.

One of my female friends was a sexy nurse. She looked great, but this being Montana it was -10 degrees F outside last night so she was actually a sexy nurse with Parkinson's disease.

Overall we got like a million candy, and it cemented Halloween as clearly the best holiday ever.

South Florida is such an awful, characterless, glass-and-steel, restaurants-have-patios-overlooking-parking lots-and-turnpikes shithole part of the world that kids here trick or treat during the daytime at MALLS and SHOPPING PLAZAS for GIFT CERTIFICATES TO STORES.

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South Florida is such an awful, characterless, glass-and-steel, restaurants-have-patios-overlooking-parking lots-and-turnpikes shithole part of the world that kids here trick or treat during the daytime at MALLS and SHOPPING PLAZAS for GIFT CERTIFICATES TO STORES.

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South Florida sounds like heaven! I must move there and be with my people... white trailer trash.

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South Florida sounds like heaven! I must move there and be with my people... white trailer trash.

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Well, that's the best way to be. If I could afford it, that's exactly the way I'd be, only ten times worse. And that goes for everyone else unless they're total fuckheads.

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Halloween has been cancelled on our estate for the third year running.

The knobs from the residents commitee (i.e the old giffers) decided that bunches of kids running around screaming and generally enjoying themselves was frightening and/or disturbing residents who weren't interested in letting their hair down and having a bit of fun. I mean let's face it, there's nothing scarier or disturbing than a five year old dressed as a witch is there? So posters were made and distributed to the fun hating bastards to put on their doors to stop the scary children from knocking. That didn't work because the kids either ignored them or couldn't read them. So flyers were posted through every door asking parents to keep the children to avoid disturbing any one.

So I've been out and got the biggest pumpkin I could find and have carved a rather large erect prick on it and plan to place it on the doorstep of the resident commitee leader's house. Just for holiday kicks.

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