It's the first annual tough guy contest. And boy, are these guys tough! After many rounds of busting brick walls with their heads and listening to scary monster-voice death metal at full volume, these four finalists are ready to face the final challenge: The tattoo competition. There's only one problem, chief -- they don't none of 'em have any tattoos to show off! What the frig? Guess that's where you come in.

You need to give one of these guys the kind of tough guy tattoo that is sure to give him the winning edge. Or maybe you'd rather make him look like a friggin' nancy so's you can collect a bribe from one of his competitors. Either way, make if funny. Otherwise, I can protect you from the consequences when one of these guys decides to come at you with a tire iron.

Not technically a tattoo....

Fools! You have only 24 hours to live

...out your dreams of competing in this contest!

So get busy on those last minute entries.

Time!

All these entries were great, but young_scot's reckless disregard for the rules netted him those extra few crucial points and put him over the top. He's such a rebel -- it makes makes me swoon like a high school cheerleader.

Besides, this guy would win any tough guy contest hands down -- after all the other contestants had pissed their skivvies and run shrieking into the bathroom stall of Buzzsaw's Pool Hall and Check Cashing Establershmunt.

Congratulations, young_scot. Now make another contest thingie. But you already knew that.

Maybe I'll make another contest, maybe I won't. I'm too busy riding around on my Harley and upseting "The Man" to care.

The only rules I play by are my own, and even then I break them all the time.