My so-called friends have set me up on a "blind date" type of thing. Naturally, I realized the best place to come for thoughtful, sagely advice would be Stripcreator. How would you studs (and studettes) suggest I make a favorable impression on the future Bride of Zaster?

I met my wife on a blind date and charmed her by wearing a retarded outfit and leaving before her.

So, do that.

Tighten the bolts in your neck and maybe touch them up if the paint's starting to fade.

Also, a mixed bouqet of flowers is an old but worthwhile tradition.

Showittoher

Umm... Superman dat ho?

Take her to Denny's.  Make sure she understands that this is your idea of high-tone class.  When the waitre d' comes to show you to your booth, use the cool two-fingered underhand method to slip her a dollar and say under your breath, "Away from the restrooms."  Order an open-faced sandwich.  When you get the bill, confidently determine how much her half is going to be without using a calculator.  Let a name-brand condom fall out of your wallet while paying to let her know you practice safe, protected sex.

Tell her you're a stripper and give her a business card which is just the URL of your comics page.  When you're on the date, say, "LOL" a lot.  (It's pronounced "el - oh - el.")

Just be yourself.

What? Someone had to say it.

Why?  You were just paraphrasing what I said.

fruit up the ass

vegetables=more dignified

Platinum dildo=won't squelch on pleasure

quote:

---

Just be yourself.

---

When the check arrives just straight up ask her for a blowjob. Assuming she angrily says "NO!" (and lets face it she probably will) you wear an insulted expression, look her in the eyes and exclaim, "I was gonna do you to!" then storm out.

Free fucking meal, dude.

Fuck her with a rake.

Make her laugh a lot, and listen for if it's real or fake.  If it's fake, follow not_Scyess' LOL advice.  If it's real, follow mandingo's advice. 

Oh, and if it's your friends who set this up, promptly change the location with her and don't let them know where you're going.

id go with the retarded outfit method

quote:

---

id go with the retarded outfit method

---

quote:

---

Zaster wrote:

quote:

---

id go with the retarded outfit method

---

Yes, that bit of wardrobe advice does seem well considered, but I already have the best ever outfit all picked out: Dressing up as an ear of corn should convince her that I'm a good listener. Eh? Ear? Listener? Pretty clever, right? How can this not win her over?

---

Ahhhh, That's where "Shucking corn" comes from :)

quote:

---

christopher7murphy wrote:

quote:

---

Zaster wrote:

quote:

---

id go with the retarded outfit method

---

Yes, that bit of wardrobe advice does seem well considered, but I already have the best ever outfit all picked out: Dressing up as an ear of corn should convince her that I'm a good listener. Eh? Ear? Listener? Pretty clever, right? How can this not win her over?

---

 

Ahhhh, That's where "Shucking corn" comes from :)

---

 And peep that "aw shucks" grin

quote:

---

RedfeatheR wrote:

quote:

---

christopher7murphy wrote:

quote:

---

Zaster wrote:

quote:

---

id go with the retarded outfit method

---

Yes, that bit of wardrobe advice does seem well considered, but I already have the best ever outfit all picked out: Dressing up as an ear of corn should convince her that I'm a good listener. Eh? Ear? Listener? Pretty clever, right? How can this not win her over?

---

 

Ahhhh, That's where "Shucking corn" comes from :)

---

 And peep that "aw shucks" grin

---

Looks too much like a stalker.

That was a corny joke, ha ha, get it: "corny."

I like the corn... just "crop" out that asshole in the middle

This thread is now about poo.

And blind dates, still.

No it isn't. This is Zaster's thread and concerns the possibility of true love, therefore it is sacred.

I was going to post some relevant images that were sure to get a chuckle, but Photobucket has seen fit to lose my password, so picture some clever shit.

Thanks.

Try out this manoeuver, it wows the wimmins. 

But seriously... Check out her tits before trying to really impress her.  Because what's the point if you don't like where you'll wind up?

That's also a great opening line.

"Hi, nice to meet you.  Look, before we do this, can I see your tits?  I need to know whether I should bother to try to impress you or not."

But as an aside... hasn't this date happened by now?  What was the approahce / outcome?