What better way to start the day other than political humor?

Close.  Change your dialog to readable English and it would be better.  For example:

"Do you need any more information for your report?"
"Yeah. Let's see... I already know that you are harmed by pure substances, hate change, stay in a shell..."
"So what else do you need?"
"Your scientific name."
"'Republican.'"

Also, I'm not sure how Repubilcans are supposed to be harmed by pure substances.

Hahaha :D Good comic :D But agrees with the expression not_Scyess ;)

I also agree with not_Scyess.  This is a funny concept, but the fact that I have to work overtime to understand it ruins the moment of surprise when I read the punchline.  Not a bad first effort, though; keep at it.