for christmas you get cockloads of presents! for halloween you get enough candy to choke Carnie Wilson's horse! and for easter you get!

hard boiled eggs.

who the fuck thought of this? sounds like something dreamt up by your grandfather while pulling coins out of your ear. fuck him, and fuck your ear

your job for this one is to give Easter a makeover. whether it's giving the easter bunny laser beam eyes, or replacing easter baskets with infidelity, as long as it's cooler than the current version, i'm down

i'll judge this one in about a week, on Easter or the day after. good luck, have fun

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I don't know if this quite what you had in mind, but I'm on a roll with the penguin thing.

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0op, I thought you said give Esther a makeover.

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Merry Christmas!

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Because it's mandingo.

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Will make something less sucky later maybe.

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mandingo wrote:
for christmas you get cockloads of presents!

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for christmas your mom gets cockloads!

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I didn;t read any of the rules except for Easter. And the Easter I read was in the title of the thread and not the actual body of the rules, so fuck your rules and have an Easter.

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Im reminded of that classic Bill Hicks 'bit' on Easter....

"I was over in Australia during easter, which was intersting. Interesting to note they celebrate Easter the same way we do; commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit, left chocolate eggs in the night.


Where do you get this shit from you know?

Why those two things you know?

Why not ‘Goldfish left lincoln logs in your sock drawer’?

As long as we’re making shit up, go hog wild. At least a goldfish with a Lincoln Log on it's back goin' across your floor to your sock drawer has a miraculous conotation to it.

'Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer!'.


'That's the story of Jesus'. "

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i'm gonna judge this tonight so get those last minute entries in. no worries if they're pulsating balls of rant and hate after having to deal with family members yesterday

judging time!

honorable mentions to RCCOLAMAN, crabby, Zaster, and ArtemisStrong, any one of which i'd make hot sloppy with till the cops arrived, but in the end i gave the victory and full-dutch rudder honors to

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congratulations, biped. may all your dreams come true, even the bad ones like the homeless guy made out of salami who keeps chasing you away from the atm

Thank you, mandingo.  I realize that this victory will draw much jealousy and hatred toward me, so I have preemptively beefed up security around my mansion and its grounds.  I have hired several extra hulking, surly, rap-star-level bodyguards, and I have cut the food rations for my attack dogs in half so that they now hunger for human flesh.  Just as wearing women's clothing provides happiness for some men, these defensive measures are my comfort.  And knowing that anyone who sets foot on my property will be blown in half with shotguns or eaten alive by my vicious dogs will afford me the peace of mind in which to think of a new contest for everyone to enjoy!

Meanwhile, everybody's making a virus to make your computer explode.

Good win, though. On to the next CC.

BIIIIIPED!!

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Zaster wrote:

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choadwarrior wrote:

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Zaster wrote:

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I didn't know Gore did a Lewinsky impersonation.

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That's no impersonation.  Al Gore is periodically molested by the Invisible Man.  He reports it to the authorities all the time but noone will believe him.

Here's a ytmnd I made a while back with a similar theme.

It won't be long before another scandal engulfs the white house. Have you seen Obama's new dog? It's got sex scandal written all over it.  I can already see Obama denying the accusations while Michele stands next to him trying to hide her shame and anger...

"I did NOT have sex with that dog...Mr. Mittens..."