This should be easy, and well within the abilities of te perverts here.

Use slang terms from the 30's and 40's, like razzmatazz.  But use them sexually.  If you can't be arsed to look up old slang terms, use crazy regional lingo, like from Wales or Bumfuck Australia where people have more sheep than teeth.

That is all. 

/comics/ZMannZilla/508198/

/comics/four_legged_tripod/508321/

/comics/Lord_Vodek/508918/

I will judge this after Thanksgiving, meaning after I have woken from my gluttony and turkey induced coma.

After careful consideration, I have to give the win to Lord Vodek.  The horrible perversions my imagination was coming up with while reading the others was horrendously hilarious, but LV's was like a humorous punch to the brain with it's simplicity.  Congratulations!

Thanks :D Next contest up in a "jiffy"