In the tradition of past Comic Contest moderators, I'd like to open this contest with a threat of some sort. Unfortunately, I can't think of any, so I'll stick to what I know: the rules.

Contest #4 is a small tribute to gabe_billings, the mad genius whose idea this was. There is only one restriction, and it is this: your comic's punchline must be "...and that's when I knew we'd need the wooden badger." Variations in this phrase are permitted (e.g. "And that, Your Honor, was when I knew we'd need the wooden badger"), but the less you have to change it, the more impressed I'll be.

Q: What exactly do you consider to be a punchline?
A: Many comics use a "double-punchline" technique, and I don't want to get in the way of that. For the purposes of this contest, the phrase must appear in the third panel, and it must make the strip funnier, rather than more confusing.

Q: Won't Gabe have an unfair advantage?
A: No.

I think you'll find this restriction to be more difficult than it may first seem. I know I don't have any ideas for a strip yet. If you seek inspiration or enlightenment, check out http://www.woodenbadger.com/misc/misc.htm, where Gabe explains what it all means, with illustrations.

The fine print: One entry per person. All entries must have a title that begins with "Comic Contest #4". Post your entry in this thread, either as a complete strip or as a URL. Deadline for entries is 7:00 PM EST on Saturday February 17th; at that point I'll begin collecting wayward strips and judging. I won't read this thread again until that time, so if you have any questions about the rules, post them in another thread or track me down personally.

Good luck to all. If this contest is as good as the others have been I should have a difficult task ahead of me.

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

Just call me Quick Draw McGraw... :)

4499

jason

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

Now I KNOW a wooden badger is a vegetable.

4502

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

http://www.lowpass.net/stripcreator/view.php?ID=4505

Seeing as i don't bloody know how he copied his whole strip in... :)

Hi again, btw, I'm back.
:D

-Josh

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

LordFly,

Hit Quote to see the command line

4505

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

4519

And no, I didn't steal the title from one of my old strips! ;)

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

Here's mine... I am sorta feeling this way about STRIPCREATOR right now.

4525

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

My entry be here.
4530

Bottlerocket, yours was about da funniest comic I ever read at 12:26 in the morning. Why you ask? Because you and I, we understand that a crippling drug addiction is pretty damn funny. Yep, there's better than gettin' fugged up on some china white and then going out and smackin' yo bitch(es) up.
Wait, oh... damn... I done went and told everybody I was addicted! Wait a minute, you'd all probably figured that out by now anyway. Stereotyping bastards.

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

Hahah, bikity, I think you've mistaken me for some lowly street-dwelling fiend! Alas, no! My crack is Lowpass (c) Brand STRIPCREATOR (tm)! I have been hookt for too long now and my brain (r) is nothing but Lowpas (c) Brand MUSH (tm)!

Here is an Image of myself with a former Playmate (tm)(c) who succumbed to the ravaging affects of a High Calorie DIET (r)!

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

Here is my attempt

4538

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

Wow... Thanks evil_d. I don't think I've ever had a tribute before. Unless you count the time my old girlfriend set my apartment on fire because I broke up with her.

I'm just glad I could think up a way for us to waste even more of our time on this accursed site which has ensnared us like so many snaring devices.

4544

Gabe

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

heh heh. "snaring devices".

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

Heh, Grampa Simpson would be proud.

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

I blame the flu...

http://www.lowpass.net/stripcreator/view.php?ID=4588

4588

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

He steps up to the plate, digs in, swings....
4600

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

I suck ass 4625

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

Just collecting a stray:
4639

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

Being moderator is a lonely job. I have to wonder what sorts of fun stuff is going on in this thread while I'm not reading it. Mind you, I'm not saying I don't want to win again.

This was a good contest. Thanks to everyone who participated. As usual, the difficult part about choosing a winner is the fact that I can only choose one winner. But I'm comfortable with my choice.

First, comments.

descolada99: If they do make one for guys, I'm not sure I want it. Creative solution to a perennial problem, though. Who needs Viagra when you have oaken wildlife?

ObiJo: None of those things are vegetables. You're disqualified. (Actually, bonus points for the working it into the story so seamlessly.)

Lordfly: Using the prison background for a school = nice. I'm glad they hadn't discovered all 347 tenses yet when I was taking foreign language classes.

Big Evil Dan: Be careful not to scratch that "All your base" sign; I'll be needing it. I don't want to know what you used the giant cucumber for, though.

Bottlerockett: The idea of "wooden badger" being a street name for some drug is hilarious.

bikity: I can see how cross-dressing might take the terrifying edge off a skeleton. But y'know, when you think about it, a wooden badger is sort of like a skeleton. At least the picture on Gabe's page is.

Fracture: I thought you promised me you'd never tell anyone about that incident. (Zero Wing + Wizard of Oz = funny.)

gabe_billings: Mad props for combining profanity and mythology in the same sentence. Kids would probably pay a lot more attention to the Trojan War story if it were told that way. You should talk to a publisher.

wirthling: "How 'bout a cupcake, hideous specter?" is one of the funniest single sentences I've read in a while.

bunnerabb: I've never seen a rat bugger off up a pipe, but it was vivid imagery nonetheless.

Panky: Please tell me that's not the going rate. What would you have to do for an ounce?

Dogcow: I don't even want to think about the mechanics of a small metal chamber that enlarges one's phallus.

Now I'll post the strip I made. I know you'll all scroll right past it to see if you won, but this helps prolong the suspense. :P

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

4652

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

And the winner is.

4525

Though he bent the required phrase more than anyone else, Bottlerockett is the winner because he made the most creative use of the key words "wooden badger", and most importantly, because his strip made me laugh the hardest. Congratulations, B. Enjoy being moderator.

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

Good choice. I think if I'd been drinking milk when I read his 'toon, it'd shot out of my nose.

Hehe. Drugs are always funny. And so is the word jive.

Gabe

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

Oh crap. Are you sure I won? I mean, I wasn;t exactly in my right mind when I wrote that... Are you sure it wasn't a pity vote?? Anyway, I'll try to think up something for the next contest and while your looking at one of my posts, do me a favor and click my name up there! Muhahahah.

(btw, that's me and Anna Nicole Smith in the middle of this thread...)

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

Variations in this phrase are permitted (e.g. "And that, Your Honor, was when I knew we'd need the wooden badger"), but the less you have to change it, the more impressed I'll be.

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

Variations in this phrase are permitted (e.g. "And that, Your Honor, was when I knew we'd need the wooden badger"), but the less you have to change it, the more impressed I'll be.

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

I think that was a subtle hint.

I know, I know. I said to change it as little as possible, and then I go and give the win to the person who changes it the most.

All I can say in my defense is what I said before. It was the funniest and the most creative strip. And I think it made an effort, in good faith, to color within the lines. Gabe said during the first contest, "We can only be anal retentive to a point then it gets silly." I thought it would be dumb to pass over what I thought was a really fantastic strip because I was being overly technical. I *was* impressed by the people who managed to craft a strip that integrated the phrase well and with little modification. As I pointed out, ObiJo's entry in particular did so skillfully. But in the end, my opinion is that Bottlerockett's is (a) a legal entry and (b) the funniest and most creative one.

And if you don't like that, then all I can say is I'm not perfect. Maybe that's an argument for switching from a judging to a voting system. I understand Johnny is willing to work with us on that. Though, on the other hand, the good thing about the current system is that in less than two days, there'll be another winner.

Subject: Re: Comic Contest #4

I'd have to agree. It's not like we're winning fabulous prizes here. Remember that it's all in good fun. Most of the pleasure of doing this is coming up with the entries.

And Johnny said he was keen to the whole idea of the contest and was doing his best to come up with some sort of voting system. So we may not have to stick with the current method for long.

But evil_d made a good point in that our turnover is only two days! If we start voting on winners we might have to tack another day or two onto that.

Gabe

I was robbed! I should have won! You all suck!! I hate you all!! I will NEVER, repeat NEVER enter another contest again! You...you...PEEHOLES!!!!!!!!

2-18-01 9:35 am

(Please disregard the faulty date on the side of this post.)

In regards to judging, what he really meant was 'Obi is a worthless gimp and his comic will never win even if he gives me a lot of money'.

You want a piece of me billings? You...you...PEEHOLE!!!!!!!

I have made it a rule that I will end all my posts with the word peehole in all capitols, or capitals, depending on the spelling, and add a superfluity of exclamation marks just to make the reader's nuts tingle. So, that said,

PEEHOLE!!!!!!!

quote:

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You want a piece of me billings?

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Actually, ObiJo is correct. He was robbed.

If you would like to learn more about spleens, peeholes, wooden badgers, or any of the other things you've seen on tonight's program, you can visit your local library, where a wealth of information on these and many other subjects awaits you.

Love,

bunner

quote:

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Actually, ObiJo is correct. He was robbed.

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