right now many many people are laughing at the poor old andrew washington and are waiting for him to arrive in his chatroom as he does daily at 8:30, waiting, waiting to laugh in his face, at how stupid he looks to so many people

as i speak (or type) he has arrived

"I'm 33, single, have recently moved to Kent and am looking to meet new friends!"

hear him talk

This is all I needed to see:

"My favourite movie is 'Gladiator' because it makes me want to be Maximus! I would love for women to swoon and men to be prepared to die in battle with me."

Anybody who dies in battle with this bone scarfer isn't worth the cost of a burial.

Here is a random entry from his diary. I can't tear myself away from his riveting home appliance appraisals:

quote:

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My other major purchase has been a tumble dryer and already I have reclaimed my radiators! It's wonderful to be able to pop in a load of wet washing and an hour later have perfectly dry clothes ready to wear. I have been so impressed that I wish I had done this months ago. I have also bought a large rug for the living room adding a touch of warmth to the room that the laminated floor did not provide.

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I don't know... he'd have to be a loser of mammoth proportions to be a greater internet-laughing-stock than Bernard Shifman, recently voted The Most Hated Man On The Internet. Yeah, that's right - he beat Bill Gates for the title. The short version is that he used some kind of email-harvesting spam program to send out an unsolicited resume to several hundred people, most of whom weren't even in HR (in one memorable instance he sent it to an FTP server - not a person, a server). One guy he sent it to (twice) is a vocal anti-spam campaigner, who told him off for it and reported him to his ISP. Cue abusive emails, abusive phone calls, and threats of legal action. Have a read - it's hilarious.

His ex-girlfriends are kinda cute.

Poor old Andrew Washington... He's really not so bad. Sure, his taste in music and movies is a bit shallow, and he is just a tad obsessed with material possessions. To be honest, I think he's just a bit too naive, a bit too lonely, and a bit too honest. I mean, if you got a brand-spanking-new major appliance, and you were really pleased with it, you'd probably show it to a friend and say, "Look what I got! Isn't it cool?" I get the impression he doesn't have anyone to share this kind of thing with, so he shared it with his "friends" on the internet.

All in all, he seems like a fairly nice bloke. I don't see what all the fuss is about.

I agree with DexX. He seems kinda lonely but sweet.
However, my absolute favourite was this guy:

http://www.okidokii.com/mahirr/mahirilk.htm

Oh yes, the wonderful old Mr I-KIss-You. A classic internet freak...

Did you notice what it says on the bottom of Andrew's homepage?

Legal Notice: This website, including all images and information, is strictly private. So unless you have been specifically invited or are a member of my immediate family please leave now.

Yeah, Jabizo, I saw that. I thought, What a fucking tool this guy must be.

All right, which of you did it...

www.andrew-washington.com

Oh no! I hope that doesn't give Brad any ideas...

i hope your not takin about me!! im 19 you no, not a juvanile delenqint

quote:

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i hope your not takin about me!! im 19 you no, not a juvanile delenqint

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i think it was the unexpected crew of 50 b3tans laughing at him in his chatroom that did it

mind you we did more than double ( or even quadruple, i never checked properly ) his hit count

woo!

quote:

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i hope your not takin about me!! im 19 you no, not a juvanile delenqint

---

quote:

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Ripping off jeff k is getting really mundane.

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quote:

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All right, which of you did it...

www.andrew-washington.com

Website removed until further notice due to infestation of juvenile delinquents!

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quote:

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quote:

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All right, which of you did it...

www.andrew-washington.com

Website removed until further notice due to infestation of juvenile delinquents!

---

Ta-da!
http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.andrew-washington.com

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In a disturbing twist, he now appears to be pimping photos of his lodger.

Andrew Washington[tm] - Now available on ICQ! UIN: 26911514

Poor Bec... she's at the other computer, reading his archived website, shuddering violently, and crying out phrases such as "My god! I'm going to be sick! What the fuck is wrong with this guy?" My wifey's a charmer. :)

Anyway, here is the man himself's ICQ profile:

quote:

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After recently moving to Swanley in Kent and buying the cutest little house in the whole world, I am now looking to meet a single, attractive, feminine, intelligent local woman, aged 24-30! (please)

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I laughed, I cried, I hurled.

This is the most amazingly sad man I have ever read about.

I can't believe he honestly thought that he could keep all the crap he was listing on his website private and then have a tantrum about people reading it and commenting on it in his "chat room"

I just love the way he wants to be firm, but romantic, and so so patriarchal.

He even wants you to listen to him singing a 'love song', but not read his site because it is private.

What a sad fuck.

And, doesn't it seem freaky that he posts all those pics of his ex-girlfriends? Perhaps he means to say, Hey, I dated hot babes," but he comes off as someone who can't let go.

Wouldn't any woman who might consider dating feel threatened by this? Or avoid dating him lest she become part of this freakish archive?