quote:
quote:
ATTENTION! All newbies will be hanged, drawn-and-quartered, ground into hamburger, and fed to a lumberjack. You will then be shat out and eaten by a dog. That dog's crap will be eventually taken to a landfill, where it will get mixed up with other garbage before being recycled into a sweater. That sweater will be worn for several years by a homeless man until he dies. After his body is found several days later in a state of advanced decomposition, the sweater will then be burned by a coroner's assistant. I will then piss on the ashes.
No, wait--that didn't come out right. What I meant to say was "Welcome, one and all."
That's the craziest hazing ritual I've ever heard of.
Well, that's what we came up with after one newbie's lawyers claimed that our original hazing ritual was too extreme. The original hazing ritual included demon summoning, infant sacrifice, multiple penetration, and Pauly Shore.