"the tanks were running low on gas......we had to improvise"

Bombs away!

"Some people said Murray was going too far just to spook some migrating ducks, but deep in his heart, he knew it was right."

"Everyone panicked when they saw the B-52 heading straight for their small prop plane. Thinking quickly, Haydin knew his only chance was to capture the oncoming B-52 in his rectum and hold it until they could land safely. All those nights at the Manhole were about to pay off."

"Out of ammo? NOT!"

Captain, the airframe can't handle this much flatulence!

"Oh no! The propeller chopped of my pants!"

Variation on a theme: "Bombbay doors are open, Captain!"

Washingon - The Pentagon revealed a new weapon in the war against terrorism today. Seen here is a picture of the prototype for the Unclean Bomb. Spokesman for the Pentagon stated the weapon is both cheap and easy to fuel. A certain "secret" ingredient,(rumored to be Ex-Lax) will certainly wreak havoc on the enemy and defile many a holy object or shrine. General Buttram Colin said, "We are proud of this new addition to our arsenal and we hold it out as a proud symbol of where America is headed in this noble struggle!"

Captain Assface was the best darn fighter pilot this side of Canada.