Forum archives » Read My Damn Comics » Newbie, or not newbie...

Krud
September 18, 2002 7:10 PM

I figured I'll just start with the one comic, take any compliments and/or verbal abuse, and then go from there...

88983

Any similarities to random viewers, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Post #65635link

evil_d
September 18, 2002 7:21 PM

Not painful, but not really funny or original either.

Being self-referential would seem to require being self-aware, which is more than I can say for some of the people we get around here. I say you should make some more and see how they turn out.

Post #65640link

itsclark
September 18, 2002 10:25 PM

Most things that can be described in narration strips can be done better with dialogue instead. If you try remaking this strip without the narration (distributing all the funny among two characters instead of three, and leaving a few lines on the cutting room floor) I think you'll see what I mean. Brevity is your friend.

Post #65657link

Smarmulus
September 18, 2002 10:58 PM

I like the use of the omniscient narrator in this strip. That's what makes it amusing for me. But that is only my personal opinion.

I do recognize that some SC readers hate excess narration.

Post #65659link

JrnymnNate
September 19, 2002 1:07 PM

Stop making comics about how much you suck.

Otherwise, Go gadget go!

Post #65714link

Krud
September 19, 2002 2:39 PM

Thanks for all the comments and advice.

(Though I'm at a loss as to how that comic would have worked without the "Random Viewer" part. Otherwise, I understand the point about excess narration. To me, those two kids always look like they're looking at whoever's reading the comic... I'm sure I'm not the first to notice that, though.)

Post #65715link

evil_d
September 20, 2002 12:54 PM

I don't think that first comic would have made much sense without both girls and the narration, either.

Your latest two are quite good. Some advice: Give me brevity, or... would have been improved by the addition of extra rambling dialogue for Diablo in the third panel. Give us some visual reinforcement that he's rambling, don't just tell us. In fact, if you write the dialogue well enough, you won't need to use the narration to tell us time has passed; we'll know.

I like On Brevity a lot. My only problem with it is that the first two panels are both funnier than the last one, so it kind of ends on a weak note. I don't have any better ideas to suggest, I guess I'm just saying you have to watch out for that kind of thing.

Post #65814link

DMSO
September 20, 2002 1:54 PM

Keep 'em coming please.

Post #65816link

itsclark
September 20, 2002 3:28 PM

quote:
Though I'm at a loss as to how that comic would have worked without the "Random Viewer" part.
Example A: The two Asian girls are looking at you (Krud) and telling you how much your comic is going to suck. The random viewer is forced to identify with you and your suckiness. The use of a narrator to represent Random Viewer is eliminated.

Example B: As above, except you enter the last panel using a narration box and thank the Asian girls for heaping humiliation on you. You beg them for further sessions involving whips and handcuffs.

Example C: The two Asian girls are discussing amongst themselves how much your comic is going to suck. You (Krud) enter the second panel waving a gun and persue your revenge by pimping them out as Asian bondage models and bukkake actresses. The last panel sees two hollow-eyed sex industry cast-offs wandering the grim backstreets, desperate for thier next fix. It's wacky!

Post #65819link

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