Even when cooking up a batch of crystal meth over a Coleman stove, a Hell's Angel likes to feel pretty.

- "No, I don't want to smell your thumb, Gabe."

God damn it. I'm never letting anyone take my picture again.

- He didn't get it! He'd been hitching for 4 days and not a single person had picked him up.

- During the talent section of the Ms. Hell's Angel pageant, Bricko showed he knew which way was up.

- Bulldog, Killer, I'd like to introduce you both to our new member, Twinkle Toes.

- What? Are the goggles too much?

- While the NBA was holding its draft, the Ohio Penal system was holding a draft of its own. And this man was picked to go 37th in the rape-gabe-athon.

-- Obi's pa three minutes before conception of their first child.

Apologies for this one, but SOMEBODY had to say it...

- "Does my bum look big in this?"

- "What? You say lose the earring? Yeah, I thought the earring might be going a bit too far."

From the new unauthorized biography of Gene Siskel ...

But at least now he won't poke his other eye out.

Victor's Secret

"Oh my, I'm never washing this thumb again!"

- CapCom go.

- By day, he is a mild-mannered tractor mechanic, but when night falls he transforms into... *fanfare* Captain Taffeta!

-Janet and Leroy only had one friend, so when they got married they had to use Jim-Bob as both best man and bridesmaid.

(Not a caption, but I just wanted to mention that I love the fact that he is wearing suspenders under that dress...)

- This is your brain on ecstacy.

Master Carpenter Norm Abram in 'New Yankee Workshop After Hours'

There is NOTHING like a circus wedding.

"Ok... now... stick it up my *what*?"

"From the chick I just threw off of the roof. Aint it pretty?"

"I'll be damned... now that I've done the math, I guess I HAVE killed off all but one member of my family!"