This scared the shit out of me – Forum Archive : stripcreator

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jes_lawson April 3, 2003 1:52 AM	I was looking for an administrative area map of Canada on Google and this came up: http://members.aol.com/XPUS/ Do not view if you are easily offended by crackpot politics.
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Zegota April 3, 2003 3:23 AM	Strange, there doesn't seem to be any mention of Belgium on that site.
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jes_lawson
April 3, 2003 6:30 AM

I've calmed down now, but I was well mad earlier - in hindsight I needn't have posted this, but at the time I was pretty incensed.

"Proposal of USXP number 514 - Belgium to cease to be a country (hey, was it ever one in the first place?) and become America's urinal. Stella Artois lager to be renamed 'Liberty Beer' and production increased by tenfold due to increase in provision of raw materials..."

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boorite April 3, 2003 6:57 AM	Belgium is not a country! * No one speaks "Belgian" * There are no "Belgian" restaurants * You never hear the phrase "Belgian forces" "Belgium" is just a place where France hides money!
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jes_lawson April 3, 2003 7:16 AM	Notable exports of Belgium: 1. Waffles 2. Overpriced chocolates 3. Pissy-tasting Stella Artois lager 4. Poirot. Perhaps those USXP guys should holiday there for a fortnight. "Dear members. We are disbanding. We have seen the rest of the world and frankly, they can keep it. I don't want to eat another fricking waffle again. Oh, but we're keeping the Chateau Neuf du Pape"
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MaxPayne April 3, 2003 7:45 AM	quote: Notable exports of Belgium: 1. Waffles 2. Overpriced chocolates 3. Pissy-tasting Stella Artois lager 4. Poirot. Dr. Evil
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kingofthehill April 3, 2003 8:11 AM	fucking. scary.
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Zegota
April 3, 2003 8:13 AM

Stella Artois??
Hahahahaha, that must be the shittiest beer ever produced in Belgium.

Try Jupiler, Palm, Duvel, Rodenbach, Gueuze, ...
you know, real beer, not the budweiser crap or those Dutch wannabe beers.

No one speaks Belgian, correct.
But then again no one speaks American or Canadian either.
Might I quote the great Samuel L. Jackson?
"English Motherfucker? Do you speak it?"

There are no American Restaurants either.
American cuisine? No such thing.

There certainly are Belgian forces, just look up the Rwanda scandal, where Belgian forces roasted little Rwandan boys over a fire (In defence they claimed they were merely "playing" with the boys and intended no harm).
They also pissed on the corpses of dead Rwandan soldiers.

And what about Football? What kinda stupid name is that for the most boring sport ever.
Do they play it with their feet? No.
Do they play with a ball? No.

Anyone I'm off to eat Dinner know, you're probably having breakfast so I'm way ahead of you.

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boorite
April 3, 2003 8:28 AM

quote:
But then again no one speaks American or Canadian either.

You'll be speaking American when we take over the fucking world!

quote:
There are no American Restaurants either.
American cuisine? No such thing.

Right! It's American food. Cuisine is for faggots.

America invented hamburgers, pizza, and Mexican food.

quote:
There certainly are Belgian forces, just look up the Rwanda scandal, where Belgian forces roasted little Rwandan boys over a fire (In defence they claimed they were merely "playing" with the boys and intended no harm).
They also pissed on the corpses of dead Rwandan soldiers.

Sick fucks! I'll bet they were French! And they just blamed it all on this so-called "Belgium."

quote:
And what about Football? What kinda stupid name is that for the most boring sport ever.
Do they play it with their feet? No.

You foreign fool! Try playing American football without your feet! YOU CAN'T!

quote:
Do they play with a ball? No.

Will the French purvey ANY heinous lie to propagate the myth of Belgium? According to the AMERICAN HERITAGE Dictionary, a ball is "any of various rounded, movable objects used in various athletic activities and games." Football is played with a ball alright!

Now we know we can't believe ANYTHING said by someone who tells us there is such a country as Belgium!

quote:
Anyone I'm off to eat Dinner know, you're probably having breakfast so I'm way ahead of you.

Bone app a teat, you buttery Belgian bastard!

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JrnymnNate April 3, 2003 8:35 AM	I'm all for 50 billion freakin states. Go Expansionism.
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Devin April 3, 2003 10:35 AM	quote: America invented hamburgers, pizza, and Mexican food. And fortune cookies. quote: I'm all for 50 billion freakin states. Go Expansionism. Expansionist civilizations are okay. Scouts aren't horribly useful to me though.
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jes_lawson
April 3, 2003 12:34 PM

quote:
quote:
But then again no one speaks American or Canadian either.

You'll be speaking American when we take over the fucking world!

Dude, we already speak American. BBC Radio 5 (national news/talk/sport radio of UK FTTDK) has taken to saying "I guess" at the start of every sentance they say instead of "I suppose"

51st State - it's not just a shitty film.

quote:
quote:
There are no American Restaurants either.
American cuisine? No such thing.

Right! It's American food. Cuisine is for faggots.

America invented hamburgers, pizza, and Mexican food.

Ha ha ha! America invented Irish bars as well - own up.

quote:
quote:
There certainly are Belgian forces, just look up the Rwanda scandal, where Belgian forces roasted little Rwandan boys over a fire (In defence they claimed they were merely "playing" with the boys and intended no harm).
They also pissed on the corpses of dead Rwandan soldiers.

quote:
Sick fucks! I'll bet they were French! And they just blamed it all on this so-called "Belgium."

quote:
And what about Football? What kinda stupid name is that for the most boring sport ever.
Do they play it with their feet? No.
You foreign fool! Try playing American football without your feet! YOU CAN'T!

You can but you would just get beaten by about 30 points all the time.

quote:
quote:
Do they play with a ball? No.

Will the French purvey ANY heinous lie to propagate the myth of Belgium? According to the AMERICAN HERITAGE Dictionary, a ball is "any of various rounded, movable objects used in various athletic activities and games." Football is played with a ball alright!

Maybe he was talking about the Belgian version where you take it in turns to kick each other in the balls? That's the most fun game they have the poor Stella drinking bastards...

quote:
Now we know we can't believe ANYTHING said by someone who tells us there is such a country as Belgium!

quote:
quote:
Anyone I'm off to eat Dinner know, you're probably having breakfast so I'm way ahead of you.

I'm having supper right now: 4 cans of Olde English.

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Bone app a teat, you buttery Belgian bastard!

I tried that once but the cow kicked me.

Devin... Scouts?

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not_Scyess
April 3, 2003 12:35 PM

quote:
quote:
There are no American Restaurants either.
American cuisine? No such thing.

Right! It's American food. Cuisine is for faggots.

America invented hamburgers, pizza, and Mexican food.

This may sound like a joke, but it's true. I'd say America also invented Chinese food, since the shit you get here is nothing like real Chinese food, but in my travels abroad I've found that Chinese food is pretty much like that anywhere you go... except China.

There IS such a thing as American food. Go to any restaraunt in America that doesn't claim another nationality and look what's on it. Salad, pasta, pizzas, hamburgers, steaks. (Hamburgers, by the way, may be named after Hamburg, but they're still pretty much American food.)

Sure, the concepts for these things originated somewhere else, but the way they're done is distinctly American. (Is tempura Japanese food? the Dutch introduced it in the 15th century.) If you were to show that menu to a foreigner, he would say, "Ah, it's American food." Er, provided he could read and speak English. I mean American.

There is, however, no such thing as Canadian food.

Except maybe those french fries covered in cheese -- or gravy or grease or whatever they're covered with -- which I'm not convinced is a food, anyway.

quote:
You foreign fool! Try playing American football without your feet! YOU CAN'T!

...which is why I propose we rename every sport in the world to "football." Except for golf, which I'm not convinced is a sport, anyway.

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jes_lawson
April 3, 2003 12:56 PM

I read somewhere that bad golfers play a round then look back on the good shots they hit.
Good golfers play a round and then look back on the bad shots they hit.
When I realised that if I got better at golf I'd leave the golf course feeling crap about the shots I screwed up I started playing squash.

No wonder Colin Montgomerie is always so pissed off looking...

I read somewhere chop suey was invented by San Francisco Chinese immigrants. It's true. If you were to talk about real American food you'd have to pick buffalo steaks and maize or ummm....roots or whatever it was the Puritans and Native Americns ate. Heck, Britian's national dish is now officially curry. CURRY!

I could murder a chicken madras about now.

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punkrockskaboy April 3, 2003 1:11 PM	quote: But then again no one speaks American or Canadian either. Actually, all Americans speak American. What we speak is not british english. We speak an americanized english that pretty much makes it "american".
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kaufman April 3, 2003 1:20 PM	quote: quote: But then again no one speaks American or Canadian either. Actually, all Americans speak American. What we speak is not british english. We speak an americanized english that pretty much makes it "american". Except there is no one "American." Just try to find the similarities between Mississippi and Maine English.
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not_Scyess April 3, 2003 1:42 PM	Y'awll c'mon ovah fo' sum crab cakes an' lobsta tails, ya hea'h!
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jes_lawson April 3, 2003 1:45 PM	True. Both Mr. P.R.Skayboy and Dr. Kaufman. make good points. Anybody know how American English is classifed? Is it an "official" dialect or a variant on "standard" English or what?
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Devin
April 3, 2003 11:30 PM

quote:
Devin... Scouts?

Civ 3 reference. Don't mind me; I've been playing it a lot lately.

quote:
There is, however, no such thing as Canadian food.

But that can't be! Bacon is supposedly Canadian!

quote:
Except there is no one "American." Just try to find the similarities between Mississippi and Maine English.

I think they would be considered "American," but classified under different dialects.

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Zegota
April 3, 2003 11:35 PM

quote:
Actually, all Americans speak American. What we speak is not british english. We speak an americanized english that pretty much makes it "american".

Belgians don't speak Dutch or French either. They speak Flemmish (a Dutch variant) or Wallonian (a French variant), there are very distinct differences and many dialects, none of which the Dutch of French understand.
Then there's the small German speaking part in the east, dunno if that is German German or not, who cares anyway.

No export products some say, true, Belgium doesn't need export, it's main source of income is traffic.
Almost all traffic goes through Belgium.
Oh, and we do export children, Eastern European women and African women in illegal peadophilia networks and illegal human traffic.
And we're the biggest producer and exporter of XTC in the world.

The NATO headquarters are in Brussels!
(which is starting to scare some people because they fear that makes Belgium a cute little target for fuzzy wuzzy terrorists).

And we have 10 time World Champion Foozeball Frederic Collignon. Who gladly makes a trip overseas on regular occasions to kick some Yankee butt.

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not_Scyess April 3, 2003 11:58 PM	The day the US lost the title of "Foozeball Champion" is the day I lost all faith in it as a country. I've been trying to immigrate to Belgium since then, but I can never pass the waffle baking test.
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ArtemisStrong April 4, 2003 12:58 AM	White American men invented fortune cookies. Also, the "Chinese" food in many American cities is uniquely American and would never be served in Asia (at least in the way we eat the dishes). Go Bastardized Chinese Cuisine!
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evil_d
April 4, 2003 5:46 AM

quote:
Anybody know how American English is classifed? Is it an "official" dialect or a variant on "standard" English or what?

Since I'm not aware of any official ruling on this, or even of any body that has the authority to make official rulings on it, I figure my opinion is as good as anyone's.

If you ask me, it's all English. If I can't understand someone from Australia or Scotland or New Jersey, it's not because they're saying words I don't understand, it's because they're pronouncing them in a way I don't understand. (Some exceptions for local slang, but slang is like that everywhere.) But if I can't understand someone from China, it's because I don't know any Chinese.

Also: I've heard it said that American cuisine is the union of all other cuisines. I guess that's not entirely true, but I like repeating it anyway.

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Devin
April 4, 2003 8:03 AM

quote:
White American men invented fortune cookies.

Er, I think it was a Chinese American who invented it.

quote:
Also, the "Chinese" food in many American cities is uniquely American and would never be served in Asia (at least in the way we eat the dishes).

What, you guys need to visit your local Chinatown more often!

I think the biggest difference between Chinese cuisine in China and Chinese cuisine in America is the presence of fortune cookies.

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TheGovernor April 4, 2003 11:10 AM	quote: I think the biggest difference between Chinese cuisine in China and Chinese cuisine in America is the presence of fortune cookies. And dog meat.
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TheGovernor April 4, 2003 11:12 AM	Actually I take that back. You get dog meat in westernised chinese food as well, you just dont know its there. :)
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ArtemisStrong April 4, 2003 4:01 PM	Devin, can't you just let me spread my lies and half-truths in peace? You giant piece of uncooked dogmeat.
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punkrockskaboy April 6, 2003 2:46 PM	quote: Except there is no one "American." Just try to find the similarities between Mississippi and Maine English. Touche
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Zegota April 7, 2003 12:44 AM	Hey, this thread is going off topic. We were talking about Belgium!!! If people talk about it and believe in it enough maybe it'll stay real. Like midgets and eskimos
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MaKK_BeNN April 7, 2003 11:29 AM	I frequently have dreams where I look up at the map, and all of Canada has become the same color as the United States. In fact, if you get an advance copy of the 2005 maps... Well, perhaps I've said too much.
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kramer_vs_kramer April 7, 2003 3:07 PM	I've been to Belgium. It's not a myth, the country exists. You've got to remember that famous Kajun-a-like, Tintin, hails from Belgium.
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joshw April 7, 2003 9:47 PM	Dude... Kajun does look like Tintin. But wasn't Tintin was from Wales?
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andydougan April 8, 2003 7:33 AM	No.
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Zegota April 8, 2003 7:35 AM	NO! Tin Tin or "Kuifje" as he is called in Dutch is definetelly from Belgium. Wales, pfff, what's that? They're cities are named Grrrrcvbbloghghghlen and Drrviochochestterrrr. They don't even have their own language.
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KajunFirefly April 8, 2003 12:38 PM	Yeah, they just speak Welsh.
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jes_lawson April 8, 2003 3:11 PM	Being Welsh is the new racist in-thing in Britain. Almost worse than being a ginger. I know because rÃomh-eolaidheacht Special Brew! But the main point was that Tintin/Kajun could take the entire USXP(all 5 of them) at a Hoegaarden drinking contest.
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Zegota April 9, 2003 12:10 AM	mmmmmmmmmmmmm Hoegaarden
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JrnymnNate April 9, 2003 8:00 AM	Subject: This scared the #### out of me I always thought Kajun looked somewhat like a Jimmy Wilson.
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PhreakyChinchilla April 9, 2003 11:24 AM	quote: I've been to Belgium. It's not a myth, the country exists. You've got to remember that famous Kajun-a-like, Tintin, hails from Belgium. wow. next you'll be telling me butt fucking egypt is a real place!
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kaufman April 9, 2003 12:11 PM	quote: quote: I've been to Belgium. It's not a myth, the country exists. You've got to remember that famous Kajun-a-like, Tintin, hails from Belgium. wow. next you'll be telling me butt fucking egypt is a real place! I don't know about that, but I do know Intercourse Pennsylvania exists. Toad Suck Ferry Arkansas, too.
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andydougan April 9, 2003 9:01 PM	I was in Intercourse a couple of years ago. I got my photo taken with the "Intercourse Pa" sign.
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PhreakyChinchilla April 10, 2003 5:39 AM	quote: I was in Intercourse a couple of years ago. I got my photo taken with the "Intercourse Pa" sign. A whole new meaning to "Dear Old Dad"? "Intercourse Pa".
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kramer_vs_kramer April 10, 2003 7:28 AM	I'm sure there's a place in Austria called "Fucking"
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israphael April 12, 2003 1:38 AM	I find it a lot easier to respond to these forums if you don't bother to read the rest of the thread!
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boorite
April 14, 2003 8:07 AM

quote:
I've been to Belgium. It's not a myth, the country exists.

Sure. They put up a bunch of NOW ENTERING BELGIUM signs and pay a bunch of actors to go around saying stuff like "bien sur, we air een Belgium, a ggghhreal place, alggghhrrright!"

Belgium is just a toll plaza in the suburbs of France. The only off-ramp with its own ambassador to the UN. It's a continental truck stop. The Denny's of Europe. You may think you've "been to Belgium." I myself have been to "The Magic Kingdom." Or have I? Could it be the whole thing was a painstakingly engineered illusion? That the "kingdom" was really an elaborate stage set in the middle of a parking lot in a swamp? That it was all kept running by armies of minimum-wage teenagers scuttling through tunnels underneath our feet? Think about it.

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Zegota April 14, 2003 10:45 AM	Read tha fook
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andydougan April 14, 2003 11:54 AM	Belgium is real. They control our banks.
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UnknownEric April 14, 2003 12:49 PM	quote: Read tha fook I noticed that if you click the "Famous Belgians" link, it claims to have "248 names in different categories," but then if you click to "find more information," the link is broken. More fuel for the "Belgium doesn't exist" fire?
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arrandildocompany April 17, 2003 6:42 AM	quote: I was in Intercourse a couple of years ago. I got my photo taken with the "Intercourse Pa" sign. I've still got the postcard! I always suspected Tintin wasn't properly Belgian, living as he did on Labrador Rd in Marlinshire. I love what that English guy did with Mercia and Lun-doh-nia. I'm all for it.
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