All comics by ^TooL^

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by ^TooL^
1-11-01
In a dark alley somewhere...
I've got a loverly bunch o' coconuts.....
I am far more intellegent than this clown....
What the F**K are we doing here?
Shhhh, this is just one of those subliminal messages that flicker in the middle of movies....
Seeee them stannding in a rowww
I have a far bigger head, for a start... and I'm not wearing a Nike shirt....

 

by ^TooL^
1-11-01
My point is, Nietzche was a brilliant man and all, but did he really think god cared about him that much?
Well, he was the father or nihilism, I guess he figured god knew of the danger he was creating...
Well that's all well and good, but there is still one huge question....
What's that?
What is this bulge doing in the front of my pants?
Oh stop bitching, i've only got one ear....

 

by ^TooL^
1-13-01
Somewhere in the depths of hell...
Ok, next trial, Calista Flockhart. Plead your case, why do you deserve to live?
Yes I know this is a stupid joke that has been used a thousand times....
uhhh... Miss Flockhart....
Lets see how fast this one goes to -50....
Ok, which one of you guys set this up? ay?
I'm a single white female lawyer... Waddle... Lesbian kiss.... ratings....

 

by ^TooL^
1-13-01
Appliances after dark...
So anyway, the stupid bitch made me tune to Ally McBeal AGAIN tonight...
Argh! You think that's bad! John called that 1900-hornysluts number again..
I swear, if they don't start watching some good shit soon, i'll send a note to bill the fuse-box and get him to cut the power...
All good for you, i still run when the power's out.
I really wish i could think of a punchline to this comic... oh well, let's just throw in something about Jesus.....
ARGH! JESUS CHRIST THAT F**KING HURTS!
yes, i know....

 

by ^TooL^
1-14-01
Lifestyles of the Dead and Hellbound...
Yep.. it's not a bad life...
We asked Mr Reaper about his job...
A pretty straight-forward job, judge this, torture that, etc....
And now, the punchline...
The only thing that got tiring was seeing George W Bush every week trying to sell his soul for the presidency... I'm glad that's all over
You didn't _REALLY_ think people voted for that goon, did you?

 

by ^TooL^
1-26-02
Raaargh
No, stay back, evil 'RogBal' that Darth Vader summoned upon...... hang on...
what?
You look awfully similar to the Balrog from Lord of the Rings.... hang on a sec....
Ok, so it's not funny or clever... but... but... i had sex with your sister.
I can assure you it's a silly coincidence.. heh... urr... heh...
YOU.....SHALL...NOT....PASS!!!!!

 

by ^TooL^
1-27-02
Guest Director: David Lynch
Shoes like and with more potatoes if 3.
is.....that.....the.....baby?
meanwhile
where i'm from, the birds sing a beautiful song
done been has it
with purity

 

by ^TooL^
1-27-02
Guest Director: Quentin Tarantino
Now you've fucking done it
And now i'll kill you, right here in this gas station
hmm... i think i might go grab a pepsi from that gas station
you want me to what?
You heard me, get me some smokes from the gas station. and get rid of that fucking gun...

 

by ^TooL^
1-27-02
Guest Director: Brian De Palma (in the 80's)
i have an overwhelming desire to take my clothes off.
Yes, let's have a shower.
SCENE DELETED (due to there being no breasts in the stripcreator images)
And now, the famous de palma split-screen
Ahh, i wonder who stabbed that guy....
Wait! It's my old friend mike!

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