All comics by Benco

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by Benco
12-18-01
AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN
COCKS
DICKS
SUNDAY
DICKS
NO, JUST DICKS
THERE IS A GOD IN THE WIRED
IT MEANS GIVE US A LINK FATTY
LHGULGHLGHULHULHGL

 

by Benco
12-18-01
SPEAKING OF UNWANTED GUESTS
SHOW ME THE PATH TO DAVE2 AND I WILL SHOW YOU THE PATH TO VICTORY
UNF
HELLO DAVE2
SPEAKING OF UNWANTED GUESTS

 

by Benco
12-18-01
EARLIER
I AM SADDENED BY THIS FLAGRANT LACK OF CRANKGOD
AND I SADDENED BY THIS DISREGARD FOR THE LACK OF DAVE2
BECAUSE I MUST GET THAT COPY OF YEAR OF SHAPIRO
MY REPUTATION DEPENDS ON IT
NAY MY VERY LIFE
~that thong thong thong thong thong~

 

by Benco
12-18-01
DAVE2, EMERGENCY, FIRST RATE!
OH NO
MY LAPTOP CRASHED WITH MY ONLY COPY OF YEAR OF SHAPIRO
BUT THERE IS HOPE FOR I SEND YOU THE COPY! I'LL HAVE IT TO YOU IN MOMENTS
SEVRAL YEARS LATER
*WAIT*

 

by Benco
12-18-01
I THINK MY MOTHER IS BUYING MY GIRLFRIEND DILDOS
SWEET ME THESE "OVATIONS" ARE DELICIOUS
funk: GO FIND ME A DONUT.
BEHOLD I RUN A DONUT STORE
PERHAPS IT WAS A BUZZING DONUT HOLDER!
SHUT UP CAIT

 

by Benco
12-18-01
THERE YOU ARE DAVE
OH HO HO HO HO HERE IT IS!
HURRAY!
TAA DAA!
AND THE SHOCKING CONCLUSION:
DAVE2 YOU ARE A HERO TO US ALL
^________^

 

by Benco
12-18-01
rc3 in progress; bitrate management modes, a few ferrets, some sobering up, then release
damnit i forgot the mysql tag to only display unique results
GROUP BY cellname
/usr/bin/galeon-bin: relocation error: /usr/bin/galeon-bin: undefined symbol: IsVoid__C9nsAString
GO HOME

 

by Benco
12-18-01
I have played BJ and enjoyed it. :D

 

by Benco
12-18-01
When the hell did "I CAN'T RELATE" stop people producing porn about things?
I'M SORRY, I CAN'T RELATE TO SMALL CHILDREN BEING RAPED BY ANIMALS.
I just don't know how to be turned on by tiny people
THEREFORE NO SUCH PORN EXISTS
It just doesn't work

 

by Benco
12-18-01
Mmm... I'm ready for some Yuffie on Tifa action... Bleh... hehe
Somebody say somthing.. you're making me self-conscious! Damnit! Say somhting!
no I must idle
NO YOU MUST NOT! YOU MUST LOOK AT MY HENTAI AND EAT SHIT AND DIE!
HURRAY!

 

by Benco
12-18-01
Zambonye summons all the hentai to life.
Screwit... this idea is FAIL
Well... at least I know when I'm fail
HELLO. I LOVE YOU. WONT YOU TELL ME YOUR NAME?
Thats the second shocking conclusion today!

 

by Benco
12-19-01
I NEED A CRACK FOR VB6
now, I had had problems with animals and nuclear bombs before. It isn't something that you want to mess with.
I HAVE NONE. YOU NEED TO DOWNLOAD THE SONG IN THE TOPIC.
Well, I ignore them, even though they looked extrememly tasty.
YES AND I AM TALKING TO YOU RIGHT NOW. I AM PART OF YOUR LIFE.
DAMN THOSE CRAFTY ANIMALS.

 

by Benco
12-19-01
THE THIRD BIGGEST MILITARY TARGET IN THE US!
NO OFFENSE TO YOU OF COURSE I'M SURE YOU WERE MOVED THERE AGAINST YOUR WILL
AND THERE'S HAMBURGERS THAT EAT PEOPLE
OR AT LEAST NOT KNOWINGLY
IT'S A SMALL TOWN IN A RURAL AREA
PFFT, ENGLAND HAS NO RURAL AREAS

 

by Benco
12-19-01
I'm 11 years old. I have always wanted to witness to people, but I am very shy. So I have decided to give people your tracts. I got the idea when I read WHO, ME?
I GOTTA GET ME SOME HISPANIC LOVE!
I'M A HISPANIC LOVE CHICK.
I WILL VOMIT TO THIS MUSIC BRB
"What would happen if Scorch was the president of the USA?"
I GOTTA GET ME SOME HISPANIC LOVE!

 

by Benco
12-19-01
HEY CRANK GUESS WHAT MY LAPTOP CRASHEDWITH MY ONLY COPY OF YEAR OF SHAPIRO
CRY ME A RIVER
CRANK [ignored]
BUT DAVE2 SAVED THE DAY BECAUSE I SENT HIM A COPY OF IT
GOL DURNED TRIPOD TOO MUCH GREEN IN THIS ROOM
I LOVE YOU CRANK
PROVE IT

 

by Benco
12-19-01
You shud make a company with zzo38computer, if you can. You look at the web site that I made and find out wat to make a company with on that web site!
Be on this compiny with zzo38computer! I need sum peple to be on this compiny! Send emale wat you want on this compiny, and we can make a compiny tugether!
TEN BUCKS SAYS THIS ALL LEADS BACK TO BOB HOPE

 

by Benco
12-19-01
AWAY IT'S LIKE "WHAT THE FUCK ARE 'LUCKY WINKERBEENIES'"
i hate comics that aren't in the la times.
"THE LA TIMES: AS YOU READ THIS, YOUR LUNGS ARE PROBABLY TURNING INTO POLLUTED CHAR"
"THE WALES POST: AS YOU READ THIS, YOU'RE PROBABLY FUCKING A SHEEP, YOU DEVIANT"
YOU LIVE IN ENGLAND RIGHT SCOTLAND IN AMERICA = SCOTLAND'S BRITAIN, RIGHT
NADIR: ADMIT IT, THAT WELSH BIT IN YOU SCREAMS OF WANTING TO SCREW SHEEP

 

by Benco
12-19-01
I DID A BRAIN X-RAY TODAY.... GUESS WHAT IT SAID?
WE NEED TO UNITE INTO A SUPERSTATE
I'm not making this up
PLACE FOR RENT
AND MINUS THE FUNNY ACCENTS
CALIFORNICATIONANS HAVE SNEERY ACCENTS =((
CALIFORNIANS == "ACCENTS? WHAT ACCENTS"

 

by Benco
12-20-01
Yoge, It means hi in spanish.
no it doesn't. you sure are stupid, stupid idiot and i hate you
Hola, mis pantalones es en mi cocina.
YOUR PANTS ARE NOT IN THE KITCHEN
Let's talk about ZZT!1
AS SUCH I'LL JESUS CHRIST why does everyone think it's so funny to say sentences with the words PANTS in it in spanish

 

by Benco
12-20-01
IM THE MOST NORMALLIST PERSON IN MY FAMILY
AND IM A GAY PEDOPHILE
THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT YOU FISH
DUDE FISH, DO YOU LIVE IN BROOKSIDE?
THAT IS A BARGAIN

 

by Benco
12-20-01
EVERY ZZTER I HAVE MET HAS ENDED UP SUCKING MY COCK
WOW, I HAVE GOT TO MEET YOU
that's why I don't want to meet you
I HARDLY THINK THAT'S YOUR CHOICE
YEAH I BET THE ONLY REASON FUNK DOESN'T WANT TO MEET ANYONE IS THAT HES ONLY JUST STARTED HIGH SCHOOL
That's why Fish wants to meet me

 

by Benco
12-20-01
ITS NOT LIKE IVE NEVER HAD UNDERAGE SEX BEFORE, FUNK
WHO HERE WOULD BE SURPRISED IF EVERYBODY IN THE COMMUNE TURNED OUT TO BE IN PRISON ONE DAY
on the SAME DAY?
IM GUESSING YOUR WIFE WOULD ALMOST CERTAINLY HAVE A DICK
IM GOING TO COME ROUND ALL YOUR HOUSES AND FUCK YOUR KIDS AND THEN LEAVE
WHY NOT CUT OUT THE MIDDLEMAN JUST FUCK MY PREGNANT WIFE

 

by Benco
12-20-01
the one on the far right is a homosexual but his dad is cool with it.
*DICK FLAPPING IN WIND!* WHEE!!
BUT YOU KNOW THE REAL QUESTION IS WHATS IN THAT BOX
DILDOS AND OTHER SATANIC PARAPHERNELIA.
today i found out that like five people i know are gay!!! IT'S A HOMOSEXUAL EPIDEMIC
DO YOUR HOMO FRIENDS RECRUIT YOUR OTHER FRIENDS?

 

by Benco
12-20-01
FUCK ME STRAIGHT UP THE ASS FOR SUPPORTING THE ARTISTS I LOVE
...OK
PRICK'S A FEMALE, FISH
I DOUBT IT
LAMMY SOMETIME I NEED TO GET IGZ DIRECT ERECT SERVER NUMBER
AT THIS RATE I'LL NEVER GET ANY

 

by Benco
12-20-01
i'll be very disappointed if my son turns out to be straight
MY DAD SAID BEING GAY IS WORSE THAN DOING DRUGS
WHAT WILL HE DO TO YOU IF YOU SUDDENTLY HAVE A GAY REVELATION
DISOWN HIS TAINTED FAG SON "FAGS DIE, GODS LAUGH"
THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUE GOD YOU FAGGOT

 

by Benco
12-21-01
I'm bored
SUCK ME
eh, why not HUGHLUHGLUGHLUH HGLUHGL
SPLURT
the end!
THIS IS ONLY THE BEGNINIGNG

 

by Benco
12-21-01
alright kids goal for the night: 3 beers
:)
i will proceed to get drunk every night until laura un-dumps me
...with only three beers?
yeah man im a complete fucking LIGHTWEIGHT
WOW, AND BEER IS PRETTY MUCH JUST STALE HORSE PISS!

 

by Benco
12-21-01
untill the janitor came, and everyone was acting like it was normal all these guys were in the bathroom at once
haha ive been getting drunk like every nigh tor every other night recently
and made a lot of strange sounds in the stall
AND I HAVE A PINT OR TOO AT LUNCH EVERY DAY
DRUNK IS COOL, BUT STONED IS BETTER BECAUSE YOU DON'T NEED TO GO FOR A PISS EVERY 10 MINUTES
thats why i cant understand all these teenagers who spend all this money on alcohol

 

by Benco
12-21-01
...HOW DOES THAT WORK?
HOW DOES WHAT WORK
HAVING SEX WITH YOU KNOW....EMOTION
IVE NEVER DONE THAT
THATS THE SPIRIT

 

by Benco
12-21-01
THOUGH I HAVENT REALLY HAD ANAL SEX YET NOT TOO MY KNOWLEDGE ANYWAY
I REFUSE TO HAVE ANAL SEX
ew that's sick
NAAH IS NO WORSE THAN SWALLOING SEMEN IN MY BOOK AND I DO THAT A LOT
NOT TO SAY IM A SLUT OR ANYTHING
WHATS WRONG WITH SWOLLOWING SEMEN?

 

by Benco
12-22-01
If any of you think you can somehow escape exposing yourself to me or the other P.E. teachers, you're sorely mistaken!
PENIS OKAY WAITING
IT TAKES LIKE A YEAR TOO LOAD THIS IS MOST CERTAINLY THE STUPIDEST FAD SINCE NEOPETS
I'LL JUST WRITE ANOTHER COMIC ABOUT RIGHT TRIANGLES
IT TAKES LESS TIME TO LOAD THAN THE BUFFY SWEARING KEYBOARD FOR ME I THINK YOU MUST ALL BE FAIL BECAUSE IT WORKS FINE FOR ME
RETARD PARENTS

 

by Benco
12-22-01
IS FISHFOOD REALLY GAY
NO HE JUST LIKES MEN
LIES :(
WELL I SAY MEN BUT I REALLY MEAN "BOYS"
WELL THAT'S TRUE AT LEAST

 

by Benco
12-22-01
BUT COULD YOU EVER SEE ME SLEEPING WITH A ...GIRL... EVER
BY GIRL I MEAN OVER 8
I HAVE DECIDED THAT DEEP DOWN EVERY MAN IS ATTRACTED TO OTHER MEN SEXUALLY
I CONCLUDE THIS FROM TWO NIGHTS EXTENSIVE STUDY AT CHRISTMAS PARTIES
WELL THAT'S OBVIOUS

 

by Benco
12-22-01
Parody is even more entertaining when it is unintentional.
this is funny he's all bloody
SHUT UP YOU OVER-AGED EX-ROCKING FAG
i am a lesbian
I can ride on this fucker all day!'
Matt's Random Goal for the Week: Stop asking out married women. and leave my family alone

 

by Benco
12-22-01
DAVE!
WORD OUT
ARRR
HI DAVE
THE WIENER COUSINS ARE COMING OVER AGAIN TODAY
I CHANGED THE COLOR OF THE SHAMPOO

 

by Benco
12-22-01
SMEGMA ON THE CURTAINS SMEGMA ON THE LAMPSHADE SMEGMA ALL OVER CRANKGOD'S FACE
GBELO!
how would smegma ever get onto, or near, crank?
SEABREEZE HE HAS BEEN SUCKING FILTHY UNWASHED COCK
E.G. FISH'S?
MY COCK IS NOT UNWASHED! I THINK YOU WILL FIND IT RATHER CLEAN

 

by Benco
12-22-01
THE FUNNIEST THING EVER HEARD AT A DOCTORS OFFICE BY ME I WAS ABOUT TO TAKE A URINE TEST AND THEY'RE ALL "MAKE SURE THE HEAD OF THE PENIS IS CLEAN!"
HEHEH
THAT SAME PISS WILL DETERMINE WHETHER I HAVE TWO MORE SICKNESSES
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE "BUT IT GOT SMEGMA" AND PUT CREAM CHEEZ ALL OVER YOUR COCK
I SURE HOPE I DO!
AND BE LIKE SEE DOCTOT!!!!! I GOTS SMEGMA

 

by Benco
12-22-01
I HAVE A VERY SMOOTH CRIMINAL
CAN I SEEE IT?
YOU AVE TO BUY ME A DRINK FIRST. A SHIRLEY TEMPLE
I'LL BUY YOU A COCK IN YOUR THROAT AND DON'T CALL ME SHIRLEY
JUST DON'T PUNCH ME IN THE HEAD ANYMORE.
no molesta mi por favor

 

by Benco
12-24-01
fun fact: enya is outselling linkin park.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GETTING YOU FOR CHRISTMAS
BIG FAT NOTHING
zamros DOESN'T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS, HE HAS CHANNUKAH
Cait_Sith DOESN'T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS, HE HAS A DEAL WITH SATAN
I CELEBRATE FESTIVUS
SO WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH ROBOT SEX

 

by Benco
12-24-01
WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HERO'S
SO WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH ROBOT SEX
It's like PEOPLE SEX, but with OIL
AND METAL AND IT'S PERFECTLY SILENT
SILENT? IT'S METAL RUBBING AGAINST METAL
NONONO, THEY LUB UP FIRST
YES, BENCO, THEY LUB UP I LUB YOUR MOM

 

by Benco
12-24-01
HOPEFULLY I CAN GIVE HEAD TOO ONE DAY!
IT IS COMPLETELY AWESOME I LIKE TO SWALLOW THE LOVE CRAP
IT'S MY DREAM TO BE SPLATTERED WITH LOVE CRAP
you want to swallow crap? SICK
I WANT TO SWALLOW ORIONS COME ACTUALLY AND I DO AND ITS AWESOME AND I LIKE IT
AHH, THE TOPICS WE DISCUSS ON CHRISTMAS EVE

 

by Benco
12-24-01
WANNA COME OVER TO MY PLACE FOR SOME CHRISTMAS HEAD- I MEAN, DINNER
SURE!
1337! MEET ME IN THE BATHROOM AT MacDonalds!
I HEAR IT'S AMAZING WHEN THE FAMOUS PURPLE STUFFED WORM IN FLAP-JAW SPACE WITH THE TUNING FORK DOES A RAW BLINK ON HARA-KIRI ROCK.
YOU FOUND THE "SPECIAL CHRISTMAS ELIXER" DIDN'T YOU?
I NEED SCISSORS! 61!

 

by Benco
12-25-01
FOR YOU, LEMMER... A LOT OF BEER
HOORAY
FOR YOU, COOLZX... A GIRLFRIEND
NOW I HAVE 34
FOR YOU, BENCO... A BOYFRIEND
^_^

 

by Benco
12-26-01
I THINKI HAVE THE KISSING DESIESE
YOUR LOVER'S NAME?
MONO IT'S MONO RETARDS MONONUCLEOSIS
BECUASE I HAVE BEEN SICK FOR 3 WEEKS AND TIRED A LOT
MAYBE YOU JUST HAVE AIDS
HOPEFULLY

 

by Benco
12-26-01
I CAN ALWAYS REMEMBER DRAG SAYING 'I WOULD LET A GUY SUCK MY DICK IF I WAS LOOKING AT PORN OF GIRLS'
I THINK WE TALKED HIM INTO THAT
IT IS OUR DUTY TO PREACH
I WOULD LET A GUY SUCK MY DICK IF I WAS LOOKING AT A GUY SUCKING MY DICK
I WOULD NEVER LET A GUY SUCK MY DICK THAT'S DISGUSTING
!!!!!!!! MY DREAMS ARE SHATTERED!

 

by Benco
12-26-01
SPEAKING OF WHICH I WENT TO THE DOCTOR TODAY!!! SHE TOUCHED ME IN TOO MANY PLACES
DID U TELL A ADULT
NO
FUCK DID FIRST GRADE TEACH YOU NOTHING
WHEN I WENT TO GET A PHYSICAL, THE DOCTOR COMPLETELY FORGOT TO MENTION MY GENITALS WERE BLEEDING AND FALLING OFF
YOU SHOULD'VE STARTED SCREAMING "MY GENITILES ARE FALLING OFF! MY GENITITLES ARE FALLING OFF!!!"

 

by Benco
12-27-01
hi
hi
hi...r u 7 yrs old? ...i m 37
i am 7 girl ys
i hope your mommy wont find out we're talking
my mommi is ded

 

by Benco
12-27-01
ONCE AGAIN, MY ROOM IS SHROUDED IN BUTT-SCENT!
I MUST STOP TOUCHING MYSELF FOR HOURS ON END
IT'S EASIER TO MASK THE SMELL IF I DO IT IN THE BATHROOM
BECAUSE A BOOTY-SCENTED BATHROOM IS NORMAL
i need some pussy!
OH WAIT, HERE'S ONE RIGHT HERE IN MY POCKET :) :) :)

 

by Benco
12-27-01
hi
FUCK OFF
I should be the first to tell you that I HAVE A PENIS
And I'm just luring older men in to message conversations Only to later tell them that I'm a man.
ok whatver haha
Now RAVAGE ME, YOU LUSTY HOT YOUNG MUSCLEBOUND SEX MACHINE

 

by Benco
12-27-01
WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HEROS
Was it something I said?
u said u were a man
Usually guys are TURNED ON by that sort of thing.
no
FOILED AGAIN

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