All comics by Buttwurst

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by Buttwurst
6-26-02
So there you are! Where the hell have you been?
Uh, what do you mean? I, I had to work la...
Don't give me that! I can smell perfume all over you!
Look, I can explain...
Just get out, I've taken your excuses forthe last time!
Fuck.

 

by Buttwurst
6-26-02
You think he sees us?
SHH! You'll scare him away.
Lemme go tellJudy!
Hurry! I'll try and hypnotize him so he stays longer.
I don't see anything
No, no, he's over there! Look where I'm looking!!

 

by Buttwurst
6-26-02
You think he sees us?
SHH! You'll scare him away.
Lemme go tellJudy!
Hurry! I'll try and hypnotize him so he stays longer.
I don't see anything
No, no, he's over there! Look where I'm looking!!

 

by Buttwurst
6-26-02
Let me touch your nipples.
No.
Let me touch your nipples.
No.
OBEY ME OR DIE, EARTH WOMAN!
Now that's more like it!

 

by Buttwurst
6-26-02
My God! An exact duplicate of me! Now I can make out with myself, like I've always fantasized about doing!
Hi.
So, uh, you wanna...
Fuck off, weirdo.
Great, I'm incompatible with myself! What could be more Kafkaesque?
Hey, uh, your ass just disappeared.

 

by Buttwurst
6-26-02
So I sez ta dis bitch, I sez, "Look bitch, I ain't no muthafuckin' bank, knowwumsayin'?"
An' what the fuck you think she says? NUTHIN'! Yeah, that's right!
But in fact, next day, I see her...(tsk!) Yo, man, you gotta stop doin' all this shape-shiftin'. You be all distractin' me & shit.
Welcome to my private hell.

 

by Buttwurst
6-27-02
You know, somethin' tells me we took a wrong turn somewhere.
It doesn't make sense—Radio Shack should be right here. No Man's Land is supposed to be in the other direction.
Hmm, lemme see if scratching the other side of my head helps any...
Yeah, better think quick. Those shells seems to be hitting closer every time.
D'ya suppose we oughta double back and...? WHOA, never mind!
AAAAAAGHH!

 

by Buttwurst
6-27-02
Jonathan? Is that you? Surely I'm dreaming!
Curtis! Thank God you're alive!
Well, I guess it's safe to say your shrink-ray works like a charm!
Yes, well, I must admit even I'm rather astounded that it worked so well.
Damn shame we didn't anticipate the side effects.
Yes, I suppose I'll be missing the old neighborhood.

 

by Buttwurst
6-27-02
H is for horse, menaced by giant cauliflower
T is for Tina, transfixed by TV
F is for FUCKING DEAD, WHICH IS WHAT TINA IS BECAUSE TOO MUCH FUCKING TV WILL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCKS.

 

by Buttwurst
6-28-02
Tonight on Action News: Terrors of the 2-TV household. Has American family life become extinct?
We at the Blessed Virgin Relief Organization are calling for anyone with old, unneeded appliances and electronic devices to drop theirs off, and help us find a cure for HERPES
Help support our boycott of Mishima Corp's dangerous new TV sets...
Once you step up to a Mishima, you won't want to settle for anything less.
Steve, we've just gotten word that an attack is immine...AAAAAAAAGH!!
Can your TV shoot death rays? Details at 10.

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