All comics by Crucio

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by Crucio
3-05-04
Cassie does not realize she finds Garrett completely irrisistable
Hello Gorgeous. Or should i say CASSIE!
um... Hi. I refuse to partake in your CARNAL ECSTACY!
Slowly, Cassie begins to come around
Turn around, oh, and btw, thats not another gun in my pants, im just HAPPY TO SEE YOU
scary... YET SOOOOO DAMN HOT
Let the Secks begin!
im going to show her my sexy body
DAYUM thats a sexy body! Make love to me GARRETT

 

by Crucio
3-06-04
Amanda promises to meet Garrett
i would walk 500 miles and i would walk 500 more just to be that man who'd walk that thousand miles to fall down at your door
Sweet!!! im so happy! when?!
Garrett is heart broken when he learns the truth
Oh. Never, thats just a song i randomly sang to you
But! florida and michigan are exactly 1000 miles away! it cant be coincidental!
Garrett snaps
what... what are you doing?!
Start walking baby... Were goin to florida

 

by Crucio
3-09-04
White people Shouldnt try to be Squirrel
Knickety knack, yo, i was like bustin some nuts like a mofo. I totally like stored these acorn for the winter biatch!
Fuck! I hate these douche bag white boys tryin to act all Ghetto-Squirrel an shit
I wonder if i have been accepted into the wonders of squirreldom?!
You are a fuck! A fucking fuck of a fuck, who couldnt even fuck if he was trying to fuck a fucking fuck of a fuck who fucks... FOR A LIVING!!!
Acorns are hot
I do not condone the use of prostitutes, nor do i like treating women as mere objects. It seems i no longer want to be Grey. Im happy as a white homosexual!
I am so angry right now. Time to go smoke some acorns

 

by Crucio
3-09-04
we sex
Do you enjoy the wonders of the neuron ion transfer emulations running as we speak?
Lyk, totally fuk u. U r so ghey. u should lyk die. Im gonna turn you inna somethin hawt
we drug
Zap???
ZAP!!!
we woknwol
Im gonna make you squeel like a piggy!
Hawt, Lyk OMG that iz teh Secks!

 

by Crucio
3-09-04
Cats and Pumpkins = Munchkins
Ya, so dude, anyways, i was like in class, and my teacher was asking the moral implications of walking by you know, like a homeless man
Oh ya?!
Ya, and i was like, IVE GOT YOUR MORAL IMPLICATIONS RIGHT HERE!!! and then i pointed, i pointed right at my ass. And as i did it, i saw a single tear run down his face.
whoa, thats some fucked up crazy shit there mang
It feels like real!
Why am i talking to a pumpkin?! I... I... i want to fuck one your holes. I just do, dont judge me. Its what has to be done!
Think of a happy place. Think of a happy place. Think of a happy place. Think of a happy place. Think of a happy place. Think of a happy place. Think of a happy place. Think of a happy place. Think of

 

by Crucio
3-09-04
Two lonely drunkmen, grunting a crying
Do you ever look at... Animal Porn?
...Squidz!
Do you ever look at... ANIMAL PORN?
Me sooo 911... Please Call Drunk..........
Are they wrestling, or fornicating?
God i love Animal Porn
Just Do it!

 

by Crucio
3-09-04
Aim Conversation with chad
IM A FUCKIN DETECTIVE
CONGRADULATIONS GUM SHOE, THIS DESERVES A PROMOTION! YOU ARE NOW A...
Sex fiend and alcoholic?
no
oh
You are a... BLACK MARKET LIVER TRANSPLANT WITNESS!

 

by Crucio
3-10-04
Osama has a dream
Hello little childrens, I am Osama Bin Laden
So scared
Would you mind if i killed you for being a cute little consumer whore?
IM NOT A CHILD
It will come true...
Then you wont mind me inspecting your nuts?
Robot nuts shouldnt be overtightened!!!

 

by Crucio
3-10-04
Who is this marvelous Marauder??
Hey little girl, you wanna know why they call me a sexually deprived lunatic with a penis smaller than that of a naked mole rat?
Not sure if you realize this, but I am not a girl
Oh, im so desparate to use my new hydraulic penis i didnt even notice. What are you then?
Actually, people of my race are quadrisexual. To make another child, we must have a 4some consiting of one of each sex. We all have unique reproductive abilities.
Goodbye?!
Oh, how horrible. Well, im trying to solve crimes! Do you want to help?! I was once famous! They called me Inspector. Inspector Gadget!
No. Go kill yourself. Actually, I have a gun, I will commence killing the homo is 10... 9...

 

by Crucio
3-11-04
That crazzy little wogum always knows the right thing to say to the ladies!
I snuck into this hotel, and was riding the elevators up and down for amusement, and these two cute girls walked in and asked where i was from!
Oh awesome! What did you say? Did you tell them you werent a tourist?
no! i said, "do u think its gross or ok when a guy goes commando?" and when they said i guess so, i said, "well the mri shows i lost more then half my brain cells that i should have..."
oh...
I just wanted someone to know... Not even my mother would listen... I feel so alone...

 

by Crucio
3-16-04
Dont be hatin
Badababa ba! IM LOVIN IT!
Mc Donalds? No! no! its... its just... No! Youre a consumer whore!
Dont be hatin
PREPARE!
SHIT!
Dont be hatin
Badababa ba! IM LOVIN IT!
Mc Donalds?! DELICIOUS!

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