All comics by EviL_mAn5

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by EviL_mAn5
3-30-03
Episode 1: Introductions
Hello...I am Jason
And I'm Bob
We'll be the stars of the new ummm....Show "Jason and Bob" Right Bob?
Mmmmmm....Piiiee...Yummy....
Bob?....Bob...BOB!!
Huhh...What?...ELEVEN!

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-30-03
Episode #2: Head in the Clouds
What's the matter Bob? You seem distracted
Nope....Im fine, Jason
Kid's always ot his head in the clouds....
Yeah, he's right. My HEAD is here, but where the hell is the rest of my body???

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-30-03
Episode #3: The Many Faces of Gabe
AHHHH!
AHHHH!
AHHHH!

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-30-03
Episode #4: Wow....Just....Wow.
Jason I have a question about the earth's stratosphere
Sure...What do you need to know?
Well I just dont undertsnad it
Well......
Many Hours Later....
Do you understand now about the Stratosphere?
I knew all that stuff about that strato-thingy, I just didn't get what "Earth" means....

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-30-03
EPISODE 5: SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
*Cough* Umm...Hello folks....And well, TAoJ&B has been playing for 5 whole episodes now. And we have a very special announcement.
We have made a TAoJ&B Movie! We will present it later tonight in the next episode. Thank you
This has been a Public Service Announcement.

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-30-03
Episode #6: Movie Premiere
Well....You've waited patiently all night for the premiere of The Adventures of Jason and Bob Movie.
...And all of your hard work to not kill yourself because of the build-up of exitement has payed off!
We now present.....THE ADVETNURES OF JASON AND BOB MOVIE!
Mmmm....Steamy goodness...

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-30-03
TAoJ&B MOVIE: Part 1
....Oh....Were on???!!!
So, Bob, what should we do today?
How about we frolick in the flowers?
TAoJ&B MOVIE: Part 1
OH NO! Bob has dissapeared! Whatever will I do without my best friend Bob???

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-30-03
TAoJ&B MOVIE: Part 2
Who ever could have done this?
Oh no! Who are you?
I, the evil Doctor Donkeystein have kidnapped your friend! You will never get him back!!! MUAHAHAHA!
Don't worry Bob! Ill save you! But how will I ever find the evil lair of the evil Dr. Donkeystein to stop his evil plan of evil?

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-30-03
TAoJ&B MOVIE: Part 3
Aha! The internet will help me. *Type* *Type* Evil....Doctor Donkey...Stein
1 Entry Found....*Click* Dr. Donkeysteins Extermination (OF PEOPLE) 1-800-1-DIENOW...Open 24/7...Hmm...This sounds about right.
OK...Now what?
Wow....What a moron...Let me just freeze so I dont have to put up with the rays of stupidity seeping out of his body

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
Bob and I have a very sad announcement
Uhh..Yeah
The stupid writers of this comic have decided to dicsontinue this comic series and just start writing random comics
Uhh..Yeah
Goodybe folks. Look for us in future comics thouh....Why am i smiling??
Uhh..Yeah

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
ANDALE! ANDALE!
TORRO! TORRO!
Wow...Thats just sad

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
Hmmm...AHA! I play my EVILNESS and equip him with Level 17 Darkness Lord in order to boost his attack power up to 50 points! YOU WILL NEVER TAKE DOWN MY ARMY OF RAZHA!
FOOL! I counter your attack with COUNTERATTACKER! Then play Borgdemon and use the Mystical Powers of the Nazilord of Doom and wipe out your Army of Razha!
NOOOOOOOO!
MUAHAHHA! I WIPE OUT YOUR POWER POINTS AND WIN THE BATTLE!
YOU HAVENT SEEN THE LAST OF ME, OKIYOSHA KUTANO!
FOOL! YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT MY BATTLE DEMONS DECK!

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
Boy I wonder what i'll do today with the wonderful internet. Let me just put in my password *Type* *Type*
Username/Passwowrd not reconized
HEY! Stupid computer! *Smas* *Smash*
Oh...I had the Caps Lock on...

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
Oh great god of the sea! I the wise Fishton want to accept your journey to find biologically enhanced apple pie.
Blurp Glugg Glugg Blurp
No there is no Lord of Evil Behind me about to kill me....Wait a minute....How the hell did I understand that
How the hell is there a fire underwater...Stupid Lords of Evil

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
See what you COULD be poisoning your child's mind with...
Hahaha! You are under arrest!
NEVER BIAATCH!!
We interrupt this program to bring you The Piratey and Puppety Show
Yes
But instead you poison it with THIS...
La la la! Happy happy ha
La la la! Happy Happy Happy

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
Will you have sex with me?
No
Why not?
Cuz Im a little chinese girl and you a freak whose name is "explodingdog; hammer2-1"
How about now? I had my name chaned to "explodindog; hammer1-1"
Wow....You SERIOUSLY have hammered that nail into your head too many times

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
For weeks I have pondered over my tortured life...
AAAHHH! WHAT DID I DO??!!
Dear Person Reading This Letter, Dont look behind you. From, The Giant Evil Killer Squirrell Behind You...????
And now I have decided to end my life...
Damnit this is a Play-Doh knife!

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
Hey Satan. What up home dogg
Im not Satan you asshole
Yo homie...Got a light for my ass....I mean...umm...My joint!!
AHHHH! I THOUGHT YOU WERENT SATAN!...Wow! I can get high off myself???
Assclown

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
Hey, come on man, you try to make your ass look small in these 2 sizes too small rainbow tites. I feel like a gay man!
You feel like a gay man, eh?
Well, here's one sweetie
Sure...I dont need college....Ill just be something easy like a clown...AND NOW IM STUCK IN THE SKY WITH A GAY MAN AND A DEMON!
Do shutup...Assclown

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
I feel so violated! And my pants still dont fit me
AHHH! MY EYES!!!
Do they fit now, you fat fuck?
I feel so...so...so HORNEY!...And French Take me now, darling!!

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
The writer of this comic has decided to turn this once 3 part episode into a Series about a demon who lives in the sky and turns people into stuff which causes his life to be very strange
AHHHH!
Please darling...I am so horney
Walking along...
Who the hell are you?
Help me, you retarted ass-monkey!

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
What the hell are you doing up here floating around on a stick?
HELP ME OR I WILL CURSE YOU TO HELL YOU DIRTY PIECE OF FECAL MATTER....Fecal matter is what I call you...for i JESUS...never curse at all....YOU ASSHOLE!
You cant curse me to hell shithead, Im a demon.
Damnit!
Well I gotta go...
AHHHHH!!!

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
HOLY HELMETS CRAPMAN!
What is it Boy of wonder!!
THE SMOKER HAS ESCAPED AND IS REAKING HAVOK ON GOTHIN TOWN!
HAHAHA! I THE SMOKER WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!
YOU WILL NEVER WIN SMOKER!
BAM! POW! SHAZAM! [OTHER CORNY SPECIAL EFFECTS]
Oh NO....I the Smoker have been defeated once again by Crapman and Blue Jay! YOU HAVENT SEEN THE LAST OF ME!

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
HOLY HELMETS CRAPMAN! TO THE CRAP CAVE!
WERE ALREADY IN THE CRAP CAVE BOY OF WONDER! BUT WHAT IS IT!
THE EVIL PROFESSOR FROZEN IS FREEZING OVER GOTHIN TOWN!
I....THE EVIL PROFESSOR FROZEN WILL FREEZE GOTHIN TOWN!
WASSAMATTER BIAATCHH! WHOSE YOUR DADDY!
WHO AINT YALL GON MESS WITH? CRAPAM AND BLUE JAY? YAH THATS RIGHT BITCH!

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
OH NO!
HAHA! I the evil arabeec will sneak eento whitehouse and assasinate president! Why you ask...Because I am arabic fag! MUAHAHA!
UBERMAN...TO THE RESCUE!
OH NO! NOT UBERMAN! HE WEEL KEEK MY GAY ARABEEC ASS!
HAHA! I will take you and use my massively large german muscles to turn you into crunchy chicken wings in which i will consume with my massively large mouth....Oh...And com vith me if you vant to live
No! I surrender! PLEASE DONT HIT ME AGAIN DADDY!
I save the day once again with my large german muscles!

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
Hey Baby im sick of those tiny ass dicks! What i want is a dildo rammed in ad out of my ass for pleasure
Oops...My dress came off
OK....Now what...
The script says "Lesbians begin to kiss"....What the hell is a lesbian anyway
I dunno...Lets go havbe sex on that couch over theer
K

 

by EviL_mAn5
3-31-03
Yes Baby stroke my big Uber muscles
Oooh...Uberman your so big and strong
Yes continue strokin the uberness of my muscles....And then later you can stroke the uberness of my dick...With your mouth
What was that Uberman?
This pannel was left blank in order to spare your human eyes
You heard what I said bitch! ASSUME THE POSITION!

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-01-03
WOO WOO! EEEEH! EEEEEH! This is the Iraqi body part picup patrol! EEEEH! EEEH! WEEWOO!WEEWOO!
Ahh...Heres a body part!
NOOO STOP! DO NOT PICK OOP DAT BODY PART!
Hey what gives you arab piece of crap! Its my job to pick up body parts and put 'em in this bag! Im with the US Army and i'll have to call in the squad if you insist on medaling in my work.
YOU CANNOT TAKE HIM! Why you ask?....He is my friend Abkar...I wanted to eat his arm ever since i was a little terrorist.

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-01-03
Hey little guuurl....Do you like...realize that going to war with Iraq can be like...a serious problem man....I mean like...were killing innocent people! LIKE...MAKE TEA NOT LIKE....WAR!!!
Like....Why are you looking at me like that, man?
....
???
I wet myself

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-01-03
Hey Jessica, your shoe is untied
No it ISNT asshole!
AHHHHH!!!
TAKE THIS ASSHEAD! AND THAT! DONT EVER TRY ANOTHER LAME APRIL FOOLS PRANK LIKE THAT ON ME AGAIN!
I am both physically, and mentally scarred for life....

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-01-03
Wow...Im a poorly drawn cow...Let me go on an adventure for no reason
Wow! Who are you?
I am Robot Model 742-A Type 11-D from Section 42 Level 11. State your name and purpose for encountering me and your purpose for existence.
Oh....Im a poorly drawn cow on an adventure for no reason. I met you cuz you were in my moron. And for my existence....Dont ask me....Ask Him...
Dont ask me! That was my dad......I apologize for Him, it musta been an accident

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-01-03
Well, Robot Model 742-A Type 11-D from Section 42 Level 11. Wanna come on my random adventure with me.
Uhh....Thats cool with me, man, whatever.
Look, Robot Model 742-A Type 11-D from Section 42 Level 11! Its a monkey!
PRIMATE! State your name, your reason for encountering me within a radius of 5 feet, and your reason for existence.
My name is Fred the Monkey. I encountered your feet or whatever cuz I was looking for a bananna and you were in my way you moron! And my reason for existence....I dunno....Ask Him!
Ah, God! DAD! YOU BETTER GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER CUZ THESE GUYS ARE SICK OF YOUR LITTLE SLIP UPS!

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-01-03
Well, Fred the Monkey, do you wanna come on my random adventure with me and my friend Robot Model 742-A Type 11-D from Section 42 Level 11?
OK....I needa look for some bannanas anyway!
Look friends! A bunny!
WHITE HAIRED MAMMAL BELONGING TO THE RODENT FAMILY! State your name, your reason for entering the path of my floating, and your reason for existence!
See, my name is Peter Bunny. I floated here up the path or whatever because I was lookin' for some carrots, Nurse. And my existence....No clue...Ask that Guy....
That's it Im leaving!

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-01-03
Well Peter Bunny, wanna come on my random adventure with me and my friends Fred the Monkey and Robot Model 742-A Type 11-D from Section 42 Level 11?
Whateva', yous can help me look for some more carrots Nurse.
Look friends.....A guy tryin to joqq Robin Hood or something!
DUDE IN THE HOOD! State your name, reason for interrupting my steady flow of paces, and your reason for existence!
Hello-ith Sirs! My name-ith is Sir Bobbin Forappleshood! My reason-ith for interrupting you flowing piece of cheese- is because I was searchin for the fire breathing dragon. My existence...clueless...
Duuuuhhhhh......???

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-01-03
Well, Sir Bobbin Forappleshood, do you wanna come on my random adventure with me and my buddies Peter Bunny, Fred the Monkey and Robot Model 742-A Type 11-D from Section 42 Level 11
OK-ith...I was bored of shooting arrows at stuff-ith anyway...
Look friends.....Its the Wizard Billcoz! Maybe he can help us!
Yo!
Hello and welcome to "People on Random Quests Need the Darndest Things!"

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-01-03
For you, Cowee, we got a nice female cow for you to screw.
HELLS YES! I knew this random journey would pay off!
For you, Robot Model 742-A Type 11-D from Section 42 Level 11, we have a new circuit board
Affirmatively 1337...
For you, Fred da Monkey, we got a lifetime supply of banannas!
The yellow kind? I meant the big black kind....Like you have you sexy Wizard of Billcoz!

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-01-03
For you, Peter Bunny...We got a Bugs Bunny cartoon! The word's Doc, not Nurse you dumb lil' shit!
I knew that sounded wrong....
For you, Sir Bobbin Forapples, we got a gun! You sick a' shootin dem arrows? Try shootin' a bullet through a target now.
How-ith does thy work-ith this great invention? Does it involve pointing this hole towards my face in order to recieve-ith the fairy's magical blessing?
OK, you do that...Anyway. For Jesus we ot this "How to Make People Have a Point of Existence" Guide manual for your father!
That's it! YOUR ALL GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-02-03
Hmm....The Grim Reaper is here......
OH MY GOD!
YOULL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE YOU SICK SCYTHE-BEARING FREAK!
Your the one hammering nails into your head to stop the Grim Reaper from killing you and IM the freak...

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-02-03
Hey, Boom...
What Mike?
Guess where we are now?
NO! I CANT TAKE THE PRESSURE OF BEING HERE!
I love that trick...

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-02-03
Delivery for Mr Satan!
Uhhh....Thanks kid.
Mhm....Umm...Tip?
.....
Screw you, kid! Goddamn kids! If i start givin' out tips to one delivery boy, then everyone that serves me is gonna want one!

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-02-03
Ben! Guess what!
What Cowee?
Joe told me to tell you not to say this word. Cuz if we do we will be plummeted through a black hole and then land in another galaxy where we would probably be eaten by aliens. I can't say it though!
Why dont you write it down?
OK...Here
What? Who would even THINk of the word "Duginshmort"?...Uhoh....!

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-02-03
AHHHH!!!
AHHHHHH!!!
AHHHH!!!
AHHHHHH!!!
Cowee...Where are we?
Telegram! For Mr. Ben!

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-02-03
Oh...Its a visual telegram...
Ben and Cowee....This is Joe! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU IDIOT NOT TO SAY..."The D Word!?"
I didn't say it you floating tin can!
Anyway....You guys are trapped in the 5th dimension. The computer says the 5th dimension is everythin 3-D...Squared. So there should be 2 of everything. Then again the computer is always wrong...
Well, good luck. I sent out a ScoutBot to look for you two! And stay away from aliens that want to eat you!
A scoutbot??? Last time I came within 5 feet of one is glued my hands to my face!

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-02-03
Hey Joe...Have you seen Ben anywhere?
I am very busy Jessica and the only information I have concerning the whereabouts of Ben is that I believe he and Cowee are somewhere in the 5th Dimension.
Tell me those idiots said G---I mean "The G Word"
Yes. I sent a ScoutBot to look for them. Hey, remember the LAST time I sent a ScoutBot looking for Ben?
Flashback to the LAST time Joe sent a ScoutBot to search for Ben
AHHHHH! MY FACE!!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT!
WARNING! Unidentified Carbon-Based substance in premisice of ScoutBot! WARNING! Activating Glue-Mode!

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-02-03
Joe, how come saying "The G Word" makes you plummet through a black hole and into the 5th Dimension. AND HOW COME WERE CALLING IT THE "G" WORD! IT STARTS WITH "D"
I think it has to do with the Nuclear Reactor Core in this highly advanced computer. And about the G...I think the author is just an idiot.
Then how come we don't just detsroy this computer?
Because tampering with the Reactor Core would cause it to melt down and cause the whole earth to plummet through a black hole and land in the 5th Dimension!
Oh...Then how do we stop this whole "G Word" thing?
No clue...But I have an idea of how to get it out of OUR hair and into someone elses!

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-02-03
Here, Delivery Bob, bring this to Mr. Satan.
In Hell...
Package for Mr. Satan...I'm not even gonna ask about the tip again...
Thanks Kid...
Dear Mr Satan. Happy Chanuka! Love Joe the Robot. P.S: Don't tamper with the Nuclear Reactor Core!!!
Welcome...You've Got Porn!

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-02-03
At Boom's house...
What's going on Online...?
Welcome...You've got Pictures!
Hmm...*Click*
Boom_11D6 has 1 pictures(s) from MiKeY_ReApS11
OMG! HE PHOTOSHOPPED A PICTURE OF ME HANGING FROM A TREE....DEAD!....Is that my CAT too? I really hope he doesn't plan on trying that!

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-02-03
Finally! I have finished making the ULTIMATE sandwhich!
Of course I had to make it on a chessboard because I cant afford a real table...But hey I get to eat my sandwhich.
I wish the pieces weren't on the table though...

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-03-03
Uhoh...
Succesfully located....Ben...and Cowee
Yay! The ScoutBot is here to save us!
Mission Accomplished succesfully. Returning to Home Base
Umm....What was the point of that whole ScoutBot guy?
I really don't know, but at least my hands aren't stuck to my frikkin face!

 

by EviL_mAn5
4-03-03
Meanwhile in Hell...
What the heaven is this thing! AND WHAT THE FUCK IS A NUCLEAR REACTOR CORE? MIIIIKE!
Yes sir!
Have this thing burnt immediately!
But Sir! You're SATAN! Why don't YOU just destroy it?
.....Have it destroyed immediately Mike!

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