All comics by EvilTwin

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by EvilTwin
5-02-04
MEET TIMMY, THE HERO OF OUR STORY.
Hi. I'm Timmy.
I'm Alice, the dumb blonde of the series.
Ai-yi-yi-yi-yi...
What? What? WHAT?
Alice, you're not blonde.
My point exactly!

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
WHICH POPULAR COMIC IS THIS FROM?
Oh, great... It's Paul.
Timmy, my man! You're staying real and keeping to the core!
GUESS
Is that good?
I have no idea what it means!
I DARE YOU
Why do you say things that have no meaning?
DUUUUUUDE!!!

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
COULD IT BE? HAS TIMMY MET HIS MAKER? DOES HE KNOW WHO HE IS TALKING TO?
Who are you?
I'm Evil Twin.
Evil Twin... Evil Twin... Wait a minute, Do I...?
Come on, come on, you must know me!
FIGURES...
Nah. Never seen you before.
You suck, dude.

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
I escaped! Oh yeah! But what if he saw me break the fence... Wait... Who's that in the distance?...
Oh no! Farmer ted is coming with his chopping block! SQUAWK!!!
You'd better run, chicken!
I wish I was a chicken...

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
Oh, great... Yet another generic main character...
I like to burn things.
Uh-huh. And that's because...?
I tell him to burn things.
A schizophrenic... My life can't get any worse than this.
OK, I'll kill him. Who has a knife?

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
TIMMY HAS HAD HIS LUNCH MONEY STOLEN BY BULLIES.
So... Hungry...
Hey, Timmy! I have a donut! Follow me to get it!
IT'S SATAN!!! DON'T DO IT, TIMMY!
I dunno... You look kinda evil to me...
Come on, Timmy! Don't you want a sugary, sweet, iced donut? It's strawberry, your favourite!
You'll have to sign this form to get the donut.
This seems wrong... But I don't know why...

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
TIMMY IS IN HELL
Hi, Timmy! Welcome to hell! My name is Braineater. Say, what was on that form you were signing?
I dunno... Something about my soul becoming the property of Satan for the whole of eternity...
Jesus Christ! You're cursed! I can't be around you! I have my good looks to keep! Only the Lord can save you now! And that's if you're very, very lucky!
Nah, Jesus always comes through for me.
I don't like him.
Figures.

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
TIMMY IS IN HELL
For a burning pit of fire, Hell sure is boring...
Hey, Timmy! I'm your soul! You don't own me any more!
Oh, crap... My mistakes have come to haunt me...
You sold me for a donut! A DONUT!!!
But it was delicious!
WAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY DO PEOPLE HATE ME SO?

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
TIMMY IS ATTEMPTING TO ESCAPE FROM HELL.
OK, I think I can get your soul back.
HASN'T TIMMY BEEN IN THIS POSITION BEFORE?
HOW? HOW? TELL ME!!! HOW????
Just sign this form.
Not again!
False alarm. You just gave me your mortality. You're stuck down here forever.

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
Hey, dude, heard about the form thing. You've gotta be pretty stupid to fall for that trick twice!
What happens to my soul?
He takes your place on Earth.
I wonder what he's doing now...
My first act as president will be to make illegal things legal!
YAAAAAAAY!!!

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
Timmy! Glad I caught you. Your soul is causing mayhem on Earth! Loads, and I mean LOADS, of people are coming down here! We're too full! You have to do something!
You'll give me my mortality and soul back if I win, right?
I can't promise that Timmy. But I can promise you a free girl who'll pretend to be in love with you!
Alice?
I LIKE DONUTS, OK?

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
TIMMY HAS COME TO EARTH TO BATTLE HIS SOUL
Sure is Hellish up here.
I wonder if that Evil Twin guy could help me...
Now do you remember me?
Just give me a God-damned sidekick.

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
It has come to my attention that Timmy, my human counter-part, has a new sidekick. Do what you can to stop him from getting into this building...
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Time to die! Say hello to the Timmynator!
Oh, crap...

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
THE BATTLE HAS RAGED ON. NOW ONE CONVULTED PLOT DEVICE MUST PUNCH THE OTHER TO KILL IT!
Time to die.
I love you.
I love you too.
THE END!
Guys? Um... Guys? Where are you? Hey, wait a minute... Oh, God no!

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
Presented by Evil Twin
Welcome to Strip Creator. Com.
OK... I like chickens... Chickens are funny... Funny is good! I'm in buisness!
Now I have to choose the pictures... There... and come up with a fresh and original joke.
To get to the other side!

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
Hey, Schizophrenic Sam! I think I know where you might be happy forever... I went there in the last volume of this God-forsaken comic.
How do I get there?
Just hold still while I stab you with this knife.
OK.
YEAH! COME ON! LOUDER! LOUDER!
I'm not playing. It's a radio.

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
TIMMY IS BABYSITTING FOR EXTRA MONEY AND FREE COOKIES.
Thank you for babysitting, Timmy. The children are in the lounge.
What? That dark and forboding room with no light?
So what do you kids wanna do?
Sometimes we play musical chairs naked.
My Uncle Sam tells me to burn things... And he pretends to be different people...

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
Finally, the kids are off to bed. Just me and football for the rest of the evening.
Timmy! Timmy! I think Mary has stopped breathing!
Poke her! POKE HER!
Ok... *Poke, poke* She's alive! Thank God!
FIVE HOURS LATER
Gooo tooo sleeep... Gooo tooo sleep...
WAAH! WAAAAAHHH!!! WAAAH!!

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
So, how did it go?
Mary almost died from choking. I ate most of the contents of your fridge. Um... Oh, and my friends came round for a party and trashed the place!
I'm never hiring you again.
That's what they all say, until...
I'm not babysitting for anyone stupid enough to hire Timmy!
Neither are the other fourteen I called...

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
I can't work for anyone who prefers Timmy over me. Sorry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET A FREAKING BABYSITTER?
THIRTY SECONDS EARLIER
I can't work for anyone who prefers Timmy over me. Sorry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET A FREAKING BABYSITTER?
You'e that woman who hired Timmy instead of me! NO WAY!
*RING!RING!* Hello? Can you babysit for me?

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
Somehow, every babysitter I called hates you.
Hee-hee! What a sucker!
They must all live in the same house, because the numbers you gave me were identical.
HAHAHAHA! YOU MUST BE SO STUPID TO FALL FOR THAT TRICK!!!
What?
Sorry. Just me thinking aloud.

 

by EvilTwin
5-02-04
I was such a skinny lad/Never knew no good from bad
But I knew Life before I left my nursery
Left alone with big fat Franny/She was such a naughty nanny
You big woman/ You've made a fat boy out of me
THIS ADVERT THAT ADVERTISES NOTHING WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY SUPER FISH: THE MUTATED FISH OF THE FUTURE
Are you gonna take me home tonight/ Ohhh/ Down beside that red fire light
Are you gonna let it all hang out/ Fat nottomed girls/ You make the rocking world go round!

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
*Sob*
What's wrong, dude?
He misses Earth, idiot./ Yes, I do! I miss it so much!/ See how upset he is?
Why do you miss it?
There's nothing to burn here. Everything has been burnt already.
Oh. Well, why not make a deal with the devil?

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
Life sure is quiet without Schizophrenic Sam around...
He'll probably make some sort of deal with the devil. H'll be back, you'll see.
So... You want to trade a random earthling's life for your freedom? Hmmm... I like sadistic randomness. Consider it done.
YESSS!!! We're going home!/ That's great news!/ Well done, Sam!
Sucks to be you!
Shut up.

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
PREVIOUSLY ON THE ADVENTURES OF TIMMY
So, Schizophrnic Sam... You want to trade a random mortal's for you freedom... I like sadistic randomness. Consider it done.
Shut up.
AND NOW, THE ADVENTURES OF TIMMY
This sucks! I've been picked on by the devil yet again!
Oh, that could have been me.../ Fool! You weren't supposed totell him about the deal with the devil that takes away his life to give you freedom!/ But you just did!
I, uh... I have to go/ You certainly do, you freak! How could you tell him?/ You told him in greater detail!/ But I wouldn't have if you hadn't mentioned it in the first place!

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
Hey DROOL fool, it's Evil Twin! Have you read my new batch of comics?
No, I've been too busy making comics about that time when you paid me to make comics about how good your comics are.
You suck, dude.
Well, at least his punchlines make sense.

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
God, I'm miserable. Maybe I should get me one of those recreational drug habits.
But Mister! My teacher says all drugs are bad!
That's so untrue, kid. Hey! Try some of these!
That's it, I'm getting my daddy on you!
See? Drugs are fun!
Ooooooooooohhhhhh.... I don't feel good....

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
This isn't so bad...
Sure, I may look ugly...
But it's my personality that counts.
And I'll still get dates with girls.
Will you go out with me?

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
EVIL TWIN! GET YOUR ****ING PUNK ASS OVER HERE!
You cursed, sir? Sorry, I can't appear in the strip; I'm too busy telling theDROOLfool(TM) what good things to say about my writing.
I need you to redraw my face to the way it was!
Ok... Here we go...
No, it didn't work. I suggest you take a class in accuracy.
Hee-hee! Sucker! I was completely accurate!

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
I'm back! But before I go to combat Schizophrenic Sam, there's something I need to do...
OOOWWW!!! QUIT IT!
That'll teach you to erase me!

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
NOTE: THIS ISN'T MEANT TO BE FUNNY.
I'm sending you back to Hell... All of you.
I'd like to see you try.
TO BE CONCLUDED... IN A FIVE PART MINI-SERIES...

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
PREVIOUSLY ON THE ADVENTURES OF TIMMY
So... You want to trade a random earthling's life for your freedom? Hmmm... I like sadistic randomness. Consider it done.
Shut up.
Oh, that could have been me.../ Fool! You weren't supposed totell him about the deal with the devil that takes away his life to give you freedom!/ But you just did!
Will you go out with me?
I'm back! I'm sending you back to Hell... All of you.
I'd like to see you try./ Me too!

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
AND NOW, THE ADVENTURES OF TIMMY
You're weak...
Not as much as you!
Do you ever shut up?
Yes!/ Never!/ Why should I tell you? Hey, do you want some performance enhancing drugs?

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
OK. Thanks.
Here you go!
THE WAY TIMMY SEES THINGS NOW
Hey... What's happening?
That'll teach you to take drugs from an insane schizophrenic!/ But what if it doesn't?/ Shut up, Mark! Nobody listens to you!
Get ready to die!/ Jeeez, Sam, how corny can you get?/ Hello, Corn Pizza? I want an extra large, extra corny pizza, with extra corn please./ Leave me alone! *Sob*
I... I don't feel good...

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
Oh, God... What's happening?
EVIL TWIN!!! PLEASE HELP ME!
OK. I guess that's what fathers do.
What?
Never mind, never mind.

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
*Gasp* I'm in the normal world! Thanks, Evil Twin! But what did you mean with that father thing?
If I told you, the comic strip's universe would implode. Now go rip Sam's eyes out!
I'm back! Welcome to your worst nightmare!

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
TIMMY HAS FOUGHT SAM INTO SUBMISSION
Please don't hurt me! I want to live!/ You weakling! You're surrendering?/ Well, at least we won't die
WRONG! *Bang, bang*
Crap, I got shot/ And it's all your fault!/ Get out of my head!
THE END
LOUDER! LOUDER! PLAY SOME HENDRIX!!!!!
I told you; I don't play guitar! IT'S JUST A RADIO!

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
Please! I beg of you! Don't experiment on me!
Sure, you'll get billions of dollars, a beautiful wife and worldwide fame for your discoveries, but is a scared alien being deformed worth it?
I like my way better.

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
LEO, OUR HERO
Leo... My name is Borpheus. I must meet with you.
OK... Where shall I go to?
Meet me in McDonalds. I will e-mail the secret codeword to you so you can identify me.
Oh, and Leo... Get a better chat program than Yahoo, OK?

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
Your order, please.
The secret codeword! Borpheus, is that you?
I think I'll go and get the manager.
Your order, please. *Wink, wink, nudge,nudge*

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
BORPHEUS, LEO'S MENTOR.
If I am to show you what The Geektrix is, you must first pass the initiation test.
Ummm... OK.
Run out of the door and jump off the roof.
Jesus Christ! I'm not that stupid.
*Snigger* Everybody falls for that one.
I hate you.

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
Crap! Gaygents! We need to move!
It would be easier to move if you hadn't played that trick on me!
GAYGENT GITH
Time to die, you saucy pile of hunkiness!
Oh, God, no!
He got away.
We'll catch him!

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
"We are pleased to inform you that your name will appear in the Big Book of Brilliant People. Please send £300 per copy you want."
My hard work is paying off!
Let's see that letter.
Sorry you're not going to be famous.
"Dear occupant..."

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
OK, class. I will now introduce you to the...
...PROJECT FROM HELL!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
WTF?
Split into groups and form bands.

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
"THERE'S ME, THE ROADIE..."
My band sucks...
Test... Test...
"GUY AND GARY, TWINS, IN GUITAR..."
GUITAR SOLO!
LET'S SEE HOW LONG WE CAN GO ON FOR!
"AND NIPPLE-RINGS IN ELECTRONIC DRUMS AND SIGNING."
*Boom, boom, chikka, chikka, boom, boom*
Do you really want to hurt me? Oh! Do you really want to make me cry?

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
So, yeah, so Nipple-Rings hurt his throat, and now you totally have to sing at the concert tonight.
HOLY CRAP! I CAN'T SING!
Sucks to be you.

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
THE BIG NIGHT ARRIVES
I'll do make-up!
Make me look weird and Satanic.
TWO HOURS LATER
The Marilyn manson style. Cool.

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?
YEAH! YAAAY!!! CHEER!!!
I SAID ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?
YEAH! YAAAY!!! CHEER!!!
In that case, please enjoy the hip-hop opening act.
BOOOOOO!!!!!!

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
THE CONCERT BEGINS
I BELIEVE IN A THING CALLED LOVE!
Where's the computer?
Nipple-Rings! You're back! How's your throat?
I got something stuck down it.
Could you sing instead of me?
No, it's still down there. I don't want to tell you what it is, though...

 

by EvilTwin
5-03-04
Level 554 is loading. Please wait.
It's taken 40 hours of continuous gameplay without sleep or nourishment...
You have found the rocket launcher. *BOOM!!!*
But I just have to complete this level to get the final sword upgrade!
YOU BLEW YOURSELF UP. GAME OVER
My life has no meaning.

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