Jeff, Jim and Jesus by Jorgen9-08-04 You shouldn't be holding those nails. Why? Behind you. Hmm? Oh, sorry big guy. DO YOU MIND?!?
Jeff, Jim and Jesus 2 by Jorgen9-08-04 I didn't mean to brandish my nails in front of you. Yeah, well, I'm sensitive to that sort of thing. Why don't you try them yourself and see how that feels? That hurt. Now I will teach you how to sleep for three days straight!
Jeff, Jim and Jesus 3 by Jorgen9-08-04 So, first you lay down nice and flat on these stones. Uh... Jesus... What I do is count sheep, that always seems to work, what with me being a shepherd and all... Uh... Jesus... What, what is it? I think the circulation in my brain is cutting off.
Jeff, Jim and Jesus 4 by Jorgen9-08-04 Oh yeah, you're not a divine spirit, are you? No, I guess not. Can you take this nail out of my head now? No can do, son, my hands are stuck here. Well that's just fantastic. TO BE CONTINUED? How about you, guy standing behind me, can you help? *GASP!!!*
Jeff, Jim and Jesus 5 by Jorgen9-08-04 AH! It is Satan, my old arch-nemesis! So, Jesus, wandering the earth so you can make some more converts?!? Yeah, like I need more than the two billion I've got! Shut up! I've got Cradle of Filth on my side! This is why I hate organized religion.
Jeff, Jim and Jesus 6 by Jorgen9-11-04 Hey. How'd Jesus Lessons go? Not good. Can you get this nail out of my head? What happened? Well, Jesus got distracted and then Satan came and they started feuding and... Something has to be done about this! Can you please get this fucking nail out of my head now?!
Jeff, Jim and Jesus 7 by Jorgen9-11-04 Jesus and Satan! Cut this mess out right now! pant, pant, pant... I'm sorry, Jim, but I can't stop fighting! He's my arch nemesis! What about your father you were always in the shadow of? SHUT UP!!!
Jeff, Jim and Jesus 8 by Jorgen9-11-04 How'd it go? Pretty good. I got them to agree to sit down and talk about it over some milkshakes. WHAT?! Yeah, in fact, they should be at the Johnny Rockets right now... THE END This is a delicious milkshake! For Christ's shake!
Climax by Jorgen9-11-04 And now... ...for the climax of our story. UHHHHHHHH!!!! YEAH!!!!! I THINK I'M GONNA...
Jeff, Jim and Jesus 2.0 by Jorgen9-20-04 Zzzzz... eat these scalions... for they are my... testes... mrrrm... zzz... Jesus! Wake up! Wh-what? What is it, Jim? Old Timmy's stuck in the well! TO BE CONTINUED What the fuck is this, Lassie? In a matter of speaking.... yes...
Sheep Watcher by Jorgen10-17-04 ..and then the little lamb went all the way home and said to his mother, "Mom! Mom! A wolf tried to-" SHOMP!! I hate my life.
Feminists by Jorgen12-30-04 I want my rights! You're funny. No go bake me something. No! I'm standing against baking shit for you everyday! I want to go get a job! Listen lady, would you rather be working in a cramped office.... ...or staying at home, baking shit and pumping out kids?