All comics by Juanwalez

Profile

 

by Juanwalez
12-18-02
Right, this is my first comic so it has to be a good one, so I have come up with a plan to blatently plagerise the Far Side strip.
Moo
Hope you enjoyed that.

 

by Juanwalez
12-18-02
Our hero reflects on his latest creation
Hmm... I hope people thought that last cartoon was funny
...
Well at least I can be sure it was better than the new style Johnny Bravo

 

by Juanwalez
12-18-02
I'm the baddest cowboy in the whole damn town! You'd best get out of my way!
No way! I'm wanted all throughout the country!
I once killed twenty babies just for the fun of it!
I hunt old people for sport!
Who do you think is hotter; Choo Choo from Top Cat or Snagglepuss?
...err...well thats a tough one... they both have so much inner beauty

 

by Juanwalez
12-18-02
Hi, I'm Arwen - the most beautiful of all the elves
No you aren't! You're just some fat whore that wandered onto the set!
...yeah... but...
...tch
Look do you want a shag or not?
Yeah... go on then.

 

by Juanwalez
12-18-02
Xenophobia man wasn't quite the modern day Captain America he was originally planned to be
Prepare to die Frenchie!

 

by Juanwalez
12-19-02
Who are you? Are you an orc?
I'm Sam. I travell with Mr. Frodo
His bodyguard?
His gardener
Uphill gardener by the looks of it...

 

by Juanwalez
12-19-02
I dont know if I can go on anymore Sam
You have to... its like them stories. You just need something to hold onto
And what do you hold onto Sam?
Well I was kinda hoping I could hold onto your balls

 

by Juanwalez
12-19-02
Shane! Come back Shane!
Fuck off

 

by Juanwalez
12-19-02
Hey there sexy. Hows about you and I go out tonight? Please? I'm really lonely... I really need this
Get away from me you weirdo!
So today this girl was all over me and I was like: "Listen babe, the only thing with sexy curves I need is my Stratocaster"
You realise that thats a Flying V you've got there and not a strat though right?
I hate you. I honestly, deeply hate you.

 

by Juanwalez
12-19-02
You know Dave, its hard to be the smartest person in this flat.
Yeah.................... thats what Andrew tells me
I hate you Da- hey put that cake down!

 

by Juanwalez
12-19-02
Hey Charlie, you think I'm smarter than Andrew dont ya?
...
...
Fuck off I'm watching Neighbors

 

by Juanwalez
12-19-02
Hey Andy what you up to?
Just playing Pro Evolution
Haven't you been playing that solidly for the last 12 or so hours?
Your point being?

 

by Juanwalez
12-19-02
Damn... it can be hard to live with four people I know little about and share few intrests with
There must be something productive I can do to sort the situation
I'm sure you saw this coming
Until then I'll just go back to Stripcreator and take the piss

 

by Juanwalez
12-19-02
Oh no... you're Death aren't you...
Yup, I'm afraid so buddy
So... does this mean I'm... you know
Sorry mate...
Bollocks
Yeah... I get that a lot

 

by Juanwalez
12-19-02
All right! I may be dead but at least I got into heaven
Na. Just fucking with you. Good one eh?

 

by Juanwalez
12-19-02
Oh no... you're Satan aren't you...
Yup, I'm afraid so buddy
So... does this mean I'm... in hell?
Sorry mate
Bollocks
Yeah... I get that a lot

 

by Juanwalez
12-22-02
At last my doomsday device is finally compleated! After years of hard work its now perfect! It took some doing but it was worth it!
The world will be mine! I will be able to get whatever I want, I will rule everything! All will obey and fear me as their allmighty leader!
And I'll finally get laid

 

by Juanwalez
12-22-02
Man I loved that film
You've got the worst taste, that was shite
How can you say that? It was skillfully directed, had a great sub-plot, symbolism and cultural commentary
And how many tits did we see?

 

by Juanwalez
12-22-02
Wooden Jesus where are you from
Korea or Canada or maybe Taiwan
I'm from Hull, now piss off

 

by Juanwalez
12-22-02
Hey Tom
Hey Chris, nice to be working with you
Listen, one thing; in Rage we always tried to have meaningful, insightful lyrics...
Your point being...
No more songs about people who play spoons

 

by Juanwalez
12-22-02
Ah-ha Optimus, now you die!
You can never defeat me Megatron...
For I most certainly DO "have the toutch"
This is supposed to be a kids film you know
...

 

by Juanwalez
12-30-02
I am Keyser Soze

 

by Juanwalez
12-30-02
Are you fuck

 

by Juanwalez
12-30-02
...Luke, I am your father...
Oh cool Empire, I love that bit with the sheep
Or was that something I downloaded?

 

by Juanwalez
12-30-02
o/` I dont like pussy...
o/` Oh no...
o/` I fuckin' love it!

 

by Juanwalez
12-30-02
Who dares interupt my corrination?!
Corronation Starscream? This is bad comedy!
No, Galvatron... this is bad comedy
...and now back to the new style Johnny Bravo

 

by Juanwalez
12-30-02
We'll see how fucking safe your car is Gary

 

by Juanwalez
12-31-02
o/` Every step you take, every move you make.... o/`
o/` I'll be watching you o/`
Man, I fucking love this telescope.

 

by Juanwalez
1-01-03
I love you Cathy
I love you but I'm going to marry the rich guy
Die motherfucker!
I miss Cathy

 

by Juanwalez
1-01-03
I love you Estella
I'm not going out with you you poor bastard!
Die motherfucker!
I'm rich now. Want a shag?
Yeah lets have it

 

by Juanwalez
1-01-03
Look at me, I'm upperclass
I hate people with no money, lets have an affair
Now Fiegnall can't blackmail you because I just killed him
Jolly good show

 

by Juanwalez
1-01-03
I love you daddy, give me all your money
I love my father but I wont suck up to him
Die motherfucker!
Only now as my daughter Cordillia dies do I see the error of my ways

 

by Juanwalez
1-01-03
Come with me child, you'll be rich
Die motherfuckers!
I'm rich and powerful but nobody loves me

 

by Juanwalez
1-03-03
Trent Reznor gets a job on Seseme Street
This little side project will help me get back on track, then I'll get a new album written
Right, so the alphabet song... here goes...
o/` A B C D E... F... uhm... G... er....bollocks, writres block
Ill finish it later

 

by Juanwalez
1-03-03
Well if it isnt Trent Reznor. Get over here you whiney bitch!
You're always fucking complaining! I bet its really hard to be rich and famous isnt it!
I think you need to calm down guy
I live in a bin you bastard!

 

by Juanwalez
1-04-03
So what did you think of the new Lord of the Rings film?
Meh, it was okay. I didnt like Faramir though, he was a hero in the book, then he took them prisoner in that film!
Oh, I get it
What?
You're one of those people that insists on calling Mad Max 2 "The Road Warrior" arent you
ITS NOT CALLED MAD MAX 2!

 

by Juanwalez
1-04-03
So what did you do this holiday?
Ive been working on my webcomic, its about the tangled love story of a man similar to me and his cat-girl friend
Oh, I get it
What?
You're one of those people that never gets any sex are you
Dick

 

by Juanwalez
1-08-03
Hey Tom I wrote some lyrics
Go on then, whats the song called?
Shadow on the sun
...
Chris what the fuck did I tell you before?

 

by Juanwalez
1-08-03
I'd sure like to get a piece of that

 

by Juanwalez
1-08-03
Write your own fuckin comic

 

by Juanwalez
1-08-03
Son, I have something to tell you. I'm passing control of the company to you.
Millions of people will be dependant on you, but I know you're ready for the responsibility.
Just like the matrix of leadership! This is so sweet!

 

by Juanwalez
1-08-03

 

by Juanwalez
1-08-03

 

by Juanwalez
1-08-03
Arty comic then...
Yeah... it's a joke about wierd foriegn films that people pretend to like because they dont want to admit they didnt get it
Bollocks, you're just doing random shit till cartoons come on arent you!
True, but it was a bit funny wasnt it?
Well it was better than the new style Johnny Bravo
Well I did spend 15 seconds on it

 

by Juanwalez
1-09-03
I cant believe I caught you smoking! Don't you know how bad it is for you!?
Dont worry hon, I'll make him smoke a whole cigar, that'll teach him a lesson
15 minuites later
Cheers Dad, that was fucking sweet. Can I have another?

 

by Juanwalez
1-11-03
Right I'm going the gym again now
Just one question; why do you go all the time?
It's a good way to get excersise, and stay in shape
But you're still really fat

 

by Juanwalez
1-13-03
Hey dude read this comic I got off the net
And this one. I love how the manga isnt edited
So is it just a coincedence that they both feature prominent characters naked?
......wana see one of Jessica Rabbit?

 

by Juanwalez
1-13-03
...tight body, long legs, come to bed eyes...
...she really is the perfect woman.
Listen. Even putting aside all the other huge reasons why you cant have her; she's married
Sure but I could kick Roger Rabbit's arse no problem

 

by Juanwalez
1-13-03
Oh man, you really look great
Well you know I'd do anything to please you
Yeah, you're almost as sexy as a woman can possibly be
Almost?
Put this red wig on

 

by Juanwalez
1-13-03
Dude you really need to get over Jessica Rabbit, I mean she's not even real. I could draw a picture of her naked if I wanted
Really? I'll give you a tenner for that pic
No listen, thats not the point, what I'm saying is.... you'd really pay ten quid?
Yup
I'll have it finished Tuesday
I'll need it laminated

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