All comics by Marqck

Profile

 

by Marqck
10-12-03
Microsoft Headquarters, Hell.
I'm working on this project and I need some assistance.
mmmhm
I need someone very annoying. Someone who constantly bothers you when you're trying to work.
w0rd. I think I gost just the thing you need
Perfect.
Would you like to save?

 

by Marqck
10-12-03
Click. Trading Spaces...
Is this right?
Paraqueet aqua or magenta?
Click. Gap commercial..
Everyone in sheet metal!
Click. Cops...
You have the right to remain black!
Is there a problem officer?

 

by Marqck
10-12-03
Two brothers, SweetHrt194 and SportsFan1988...
SweetHrt194: 18/f/fl... I am 5'5" with blonde hair and blue eyes. I am very tan because I spend most of my time outside. U?
SportsFan1988: 19/m/Ca... Im 6'1" and very dreamy. I have abs of steel. I too am very tan because I spend most of my time outside. Wanna Cyber?
SweetHrt194: Sure. I'll go first. You lay me out on the table as I take a huge runny bowel movement all over the place...
SportsFan1988: Brb, baby.
SweetHrt194: and as you're fisting me I squeal for delight...
Holy fuckin shit dude this is so fucked up...

 

by Marqck
10-12-03
Pootie mackin' on all the fly bitchez!
Sa-da-tay. I'm downy like a crowny town.
Oh Pootie, only if I knew what you were saying...
I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU FOR MONEY!
Well in that case...
FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER!
Truck-a-duh-tee!!

 

by Marqck
10-12-03
12:45 A.M.- Stumbled into a chatroom by mistake.
**Entering SinglesAlone@Home
FlowerPicker4u: Hey all! :)
12:53 A.M.- People REALLY do care!
RainbowDave: Why hellllloooo FlowerPicker... what do you look like?
FlowerPicker4u: I am tall, DARK, and handsome. I enjoy long walks on the beach, cuddling by the fire, and of course, picking flowers, and...
12:59 A.M.- Painful realization.
RainbowDave: What a fag!
!

 

by Marqck
10-12-03
I am only going to this once, so pay attention.
Will do.
Like so...
Woah! A butterfly!
D@mMit.,'
What'd I miss?

 

by Marqck
10-13-03
Everyone in green dresses.
Everyone in braids.
Everyone in black shoes.
Everyone in stupid smirks.
Everyone in a stupid comic with no point... end it now.

 

by Marqck
10-13-03
The National Freestyle Championships: Fred Durst vs. Pootie Tang
"Then you'll see the size of the flames, That are pullin on my past, Burnin on my brain. Everyone that burns has to learn from the pain."
" , . , . "
The bystanders are in awe.
Man, Pootie really showed Fred who's boss. That was rediculous.
Umm... I know! I loved it so much. Every word he said was like lyrical imagery. I was totally feelin' that.
What are you talking about?! Pootie didn't say a word. Anyone is better than Fred Durst. You are so ignorant.
Hammering a nail into my head sure beats listening to Fred Durst.

 

by Marqck
10-13-03

 

by Marqck
10-13-03
he is hit on by a child prostitute in Hong Kong.
?
Man das whack. I wonder if that nookie comes with a fortune cookie.
he is evading serial killers.
Autograph
Man das whack. Fred Durst don't like runnin from sharp knives.
he is offered a cigarette.
Smoke me
Man das whack. Fred Durst don't smoke. I needs to save my voice for important things like talking to Christina Aguilera.

 

by Marqck
10-13-03
he is hit on by a child prostitute in Hong Kong.
?
Man das whack. I wonder if that nookie comes with a fortune cookie.
he is evading serial killers.
Autograph
Man das whack. Fred Durst don't like runnin from sharp knives.
he is offered a cigarette.
Smoke me
Man das whack. Fred Durst don't smoke. I needs to save my voice for important things like talking to Christina Aguilera.

 

by Marqck
10-13-03
he meets strangers on the internet.
RainbowDave: What is your home address?
Man das whack. RainbowDave doesn't even want Fred Durst's digits.
he is in the wild west.
Alright, partner. Keep on rollin' baby. You know what time it is.
Fag
he meets George Michael in a public restroom.
Wake me up befo you go-go, Don't leave me hangin' here like a yo-yo, yo.
...and I thought "Faith" was bad.

 

by Marqck
10-13-03
he finds Jesus.
Man das whack. What would we do?
I wish this guy would shut up.
Yo, Big J. I remember when you were 'Lil J you were this big. By the way, what do you think of The Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water? Cuz I made that whole record for...
I think it's time for some divine intervention.
Fred Durst is on FIRE!

 

by Marqck
10-14-03
Like, zonky. I see you've noticed my essence.
It's, like, cold in here. I apologize if my bongos aren't up to par. Let's cut the electrical.
Come on baby...

 

by Marqck
10-14-03
Chaa... Tom Green. I'm a fan, ya dig? I wrote some zingo, catch the lingo?
I'm Tom Green.
"Tom Green Show, the melding of universes. Tan Green Show, the hilarity of the stars. Tangerine Show, jiggity jiggity jiggity jiggity. Tangerine Shoe, the melding of fruit and footwear." Ya dig?
I'm Tom Green.
I'm so glad we share the same circular perspective. No vertices in sight. Ya dig?
Faaaag.

 

by Marqck
10-14-03
I am a coffee bean.
Cool.
I am a coffee bean.
Wooooord, biATCH.
This comic is good to the last drop.

 

by Marqck
10-14-03
Geraldo, whut happen'd?
I need to get away from the house. That's why i have this disguise on. I am pretty sure the garbage men will take me away.
That's so stoopid. Yer so fulla shit, Geraldo. Why, yoo can juss live in mah traylor if ya liken'. We could talk awl day an be bess friends. Yoo could sand my feet and....
I wish they would just come already.
Wait a minute, whut are yoo spose ta be disguised as?
You.

 

by Marqck
10-14-03
The 80's called, they want this guy back.
Bugga, whas awl the rackit about?
I am in temporary paralysis. Why else would I be wearing a purple shirt without sleeves.
Awright, who dunnit then?
The default girls.
RIGHT! The default girls. That's what they awl say. Looks like we're gonna need the paddy wagon.
We got that bastard good.

 

by Marqck
10-14-03
Ben Johnson, professional comedian.
I'm a really bad comedian... but seriously folks. I hate the leg room in airplanes. What's up with that guy... come on... just look at him HAHA!
Mr. Johnson after the show.
It was gonna happen sooner or later.
Dr. Atkinson, proctologist.
We found this in lodged in his...
The humanity.

 

by Marqck
10-15-03
Darnell Whittman, lead guitarist for the band "The Jesus Punchers", 1984
orgasm face... check, stupid hair... check, guitar solo... check! meedly meedly meedly MEEEEE jug jigga jug jigga jug jigga jug jigga jigga jah jah
Oh my god! He is so bad ass. His pink shirt... his yellow guitar... his tight jeans... how stylish.
Darnell Whittman, lead snortist for the drug "Cocaine", 1992
Nose candy... being chased by kangaroos with AK.
Darnell "Whitey" Whittmean, lead order takist for the restaurant "MacDonalds", 2003
Hi, welcome to Order, can I take your macdonalds?
Shut the FUCK up.

 

by Marqck
10-15-03
Man, this is so hard. Making comics isn't easy. Getting people to read my comics is even not easier. You'd think if it's posted under Read My Damn Comic with a witty and intellectual title...
people would read it. But no. The ones with the highest replies are titles like "Norn and the Toaster Trip". Hey... I got an idea for a comic. I'll write a comic about thinking about a comic!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAVE?!
Introduce the first comic featuring me
Man, this is so hard. Making comics isn't easy. Getting people to read my comics is even not easier. I'm sure you expected the dialogue to be exactly the same from the first panel. You've been Punk'D.
I'M ASHTON KUTCHER. I WANT TO SEE CELEBRITIES CRY! MY NAME IS NOT KELSO.

 

by Marqck
10-15-03
A message from the Association for the Liberation of Pixelated Individuals
Being pixelated doesn't affect who we are,
I met leather-clad men in a gay bar.
Before cosmetic surgery, Michael Jackson was once pixelated,
There is nothing better than being anally pen...
CUT! You are going to make society think that all pixelated men are gay. Stereotypes have haunted A.L.P.I. for a long time. Now we're looking to break the mold. I'm tired of being oppressed.
How silly, I thought this was the shoot for the Limp Bizkit video.

 

by Marqck
10-17-03
Werlcome to Zono's Sicilian Ice Cream Parlor. May I terk your erder?
mHmYeahWuteva... one chocolate, vanilla, and oregano milk shake and that's all up in this heezy.
Cherclet, vernelia, and ergano mirk shake. I curdn't understrand the last part. Spreak clearerly.
I SAID, 'breing this strupid must be easy.'
Now you're spreakin' my langrage.
KrILL ME NOW

 

by Marqck
11-05-03
Gary is trippin'.
Like, zonky... I finally found the nine-eye'd burnsen.
brrrrrlap.
I knew it was you. I have pursued you for ages. I'm so glad you're finally here. 'The Man' has been on my case. I'm just freein' my mind, man. There's a lot of stuff that I'd like to... HEY! COME BACK
They definately need to outlaw psychoactive hallucinagens. The American government is way to lax in its drug policies. It's more like the United States of Amsterdam.
Gary is back.
'The Concrete', a poem by Gary D. Beatnik.
Officer Whitley, go get the broom stick. We got us a hippie.

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