All comics by Mastah_Disastah

Profile

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
What the hell? This letter says my mom is leaving my dad for an Italian Chippendale...How could she do this?
..aw. I don't know.
Ung...
Did you just fart?
I have to go to the bathroom...

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
...
Hey! Peebles, what are you doing?
...
Click
...help....me...

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
Click
...
Jesus, Peebles, it's 4 in the monring. Get some sleep.
...
...
...Bastard...
Uh...Are you okay, man?

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
...
Okay, okay, stay calm, Pablo, you can do this...just try to remember your emergency training...
Thud
Wow...you just...really kinda passed out there, didn't you?

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
Oh god, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do?
Man....He sure is bleeding a lot...
Kick

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
Poor Peebles...I guess there's only one thing to do now...
CHANGE OF FORMAT!!!

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
WE BUILT THIS CITY!!!

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
I just wanted to thank you for calling the Ambulance, Pablo, I almost didn't make it.
No...uh...problem, good buddy...
Thump
I really wanna think of a way to thank you for your kindness and utmost con-
Heh.
What was that?
NO! THERE ARE NOT THREE HOT ASIAN COLLEGE FRESHMEN HIDING IN YOUR BEDROOM CLOSET AFTER WE HAD A WILD SEX ORGY!

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
....Okay, there are.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
Okay, there are....

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
So, you had a drunken orgy while I was in the hospital, bleeding out my ASS!!!
Face...The nail was in your face...
How could you do it??? I thought we were friends...
HEY! I may have slept with three hot, virgin, Asian women, but I was thinking of you the whole time!
...
...What?

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
In light of all that's happened, I can't believe I forgot about my Mom...Dear GOD, how can this be happening?
...
You're reading that letter again? ...Wait...Is that why you put the nail through your head?
...Mommy's leaving...
I'll call the Ambulance.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
THUD, THUD, THUD, THUD, CRASH!!!
Click
Shut up.
...I'll go find you a nail. They work better.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
Well, today sure was eventful.
It sure was. I got a letter from my mom, about how she's whoring it up without my dad.
I slept with three Asian women!
...
...Uh. Peebles...
*gurgle*

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
I've been wondering, Pablo. How do you get laid so often? I mean, you're just a giant finger.
That nail fucked you up, didn't it?

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
*whistle*
HEY! What are you doing?
Just thinking of where I'm going to put this picture.
Dude, don't do it, you have your whole life ahead of you.
Huh?
I'LL SUCK YOUR DICK, OKAY! JUST DON'T DO IT!

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
Slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap, slap!
Hey, Peebs, I need to borrow- HOLY CHRIST!!!!
AHHHHHH!!!!
You need help.
...I need you to get out!
Doc! This requres 500 Ccs of pussy, STAT!
FUCK YOU!

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
Why the hell would you do that to yourself?
I don't think that's any of your business!!!
Go out and get LAID, man! Jesus, it's not that hard!
It's not that easy when you're not a 4-foot-tall penis with a nail on it!
Jealousy's a bitch, mother-fucker.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
Shhhh....I felt kind of bad about my fight with Peebs, earlier, so I got him a surprise.
Thunk!
I'm back from the grocery store.
SLICE!
"ME ROVE YOU RONG TIME!!!" "AHHHHH What the fuck?"
"Slice"?

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
I killed her, I killed her. Oh my god!
What the hell was that?
I have to dispose of the body. Nobody can know about this, not even YOU!
Heyyyyy....Let's not get nuts.
*twitch*
...Which might be easier for some of us than others.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
...Ow...I'm okay...I'm okay...You hit me with the blunt end.
SLICE!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Ohhhh...Bravo...Bra...fucking..vo.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
Call the police! Do something!!
Fine, but try not to get ANTSY again and fuck the corpse or something.
Ohhhhh...

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
....You need to start shaving, man.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
I can't belive you stabbed that poor girl.
I can't believe I STABBED THAT GIRL!!!
Then fucked her while she was bleeding to death.
...
..Uh.
I can't believe I STABBED THAT GIRL!!!

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
I need a way of alleviating my guilt. Something to take my mind off this mess.
Yeah...Poor you. Must suck having NOT been on the receiving end of a kitchen knife handle.
Hmmm....
Eh?
I was thinking...
Get a way from me, Sasquatch-nuts.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
I'm probably gonna go watch some Television.
Yeah...yeah, you go do that.
Well, he's going to murder me in my sleep tonight.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
Exhibit 1: Peebles Van Stick gets a letter from his mother.
Exhibit 2: Peebles Van Stick drives a nail through head. Motive Unknown.
Exhibit 3: Peebles Van Stick returns home to find his roommate, fucking three women in his absence.
Exhibit 4: Peebles Van stick murders Asian prostitute (who has been with his roommate and best friend, previously) in adrenaline-induced rampage.
Exhibit 5: Peebles Van Stick ponders his options and leaves the house in a calm fashion.
Submitted for your approval: Peebles Van Stick. Poor, stupid shlub, with horrid luck, or homo-erotic serial killer at the base of his psychogic rage-filled rampage for blood, glory and penis.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
I don't know where you got this notion, Pablo, but I am NOT GAY.
LOOK AT THE EVIDENCE, PEEBLES VAN STICK!
No, I am NOT picturing you naked right now!
Just keep the mouse in the house, sicko.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
Just, quit acting so creepy. I stabbed that girl by ACCIDENT. I thought she was a mugger.
Let me guess, "Mugger" is psycho-code for "I'm going to kill that slut for fucking the man of my dreams"?
Ugh...
Is that code for "I'm horny?"
STOP UNDRESSING ME WITH YOUR MIND, VILE TEMPTRESS!!!

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-27-03
just so you know, I knocked out Pablo for a little while. I'm hoping a bump on the noggin might put some sense into him.
Of course, I had to do a bit of work to wash his brain...OH! He's coming to!
Well, gotta go!
UGH! Where am I? And why does my ass hurt?

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
See, you might be wondering why I'm so perky, despite having just been forcefully fucked in the ass.
I assure you, there's a perfectly logical explanation.
..Me...dic...
It sure is windy up here on the roof.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
Hi, I was wondering where you keep the Sweet And Low.
I keep it in my pants. Oh yeah!
I was hoping for an answer like "aisle four", or something.
Shut up and kiss me.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
DING DONG!
GIVE ME CANDY!
What? It's not even halloween!
I will have your soul.
...And Candy.
Wait...What did you say about my soul?

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
Soul. Now.
See, I don't really think I can possibly do that...
Give me your Soul.
Uh! Pablo? Wanna help me out here?
FOR FUCK'S SAKE! JUST GIVE HIM YOUR SOUL AND SHUT THE DAMN DOOR! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
We're running out of ideas, here.
Time to try and appeal to the mass of people begging for swearing, violence, sex and disorder.
Vagina?
I'm going to get my gun.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
I met this friendly man at the Mall today...
He was interesting to talk to, but something was wrong. I couldn't quite put my finger on it...
Most likely...
You're going to cut me now, aren't you?

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
Peebs?
...Peebs?
...Mommy?
Ungh.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
Have you seen my friend Peebles?
He likes putting his penis in things resembling asses.
Over there.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
Look, I don't know what you want, but seriously, you don't want to kill me.
Why not?
Can I get back to you on that?

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
Peebs?
Oh, hi. Have you seen my friend Peebles?
Are you going to eat me?
I've been considering it.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
Pablo! That you? Do something, man!
Uh...
Let my people go.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
"Let my people go"? Jesus...Thanks a bunch...
Fine, rape me kill me and throw me in a ditch.
Hey, settle down, cowboy.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
hey kiddo wanna get it on?
sure
mmmm
ahhh
i'd fell better though if u weren't fingering my belly button
and i'd prefer if you gave my dick and hand job instead of rubbing my finger

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
Sure was nice of that serial killer to let you go.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
I think my anus is bleeding.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
Oh bloody Christ, what now?
Soul please.
What the hell is going on? It's not even a full moon!
Hey buddy, no soul, no service. Keep the line moving, or I'll make your ass bleed.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
This guy wants my soul.
Oh for crying out loud. What does everybody seem to want with your soul?
That's a good question.
...You're retarded.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
Soul please.
Yeah, about that. I was wondering, why does everybody want my soul?
You are the chosen pinnacle of darkness that will unleash the forces of satan upon the world.
...what you say?

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
This guy says I'm the pinnacle of darkness and...Satan...something.
And so, the anus began to bleed.
Ow.
It's funny how you don't seem to not enjoy it.

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
So, are you going to give me your soul or do I up the ass-bleedage?
Okay, how about I give you a twenty, and the phone numbers of three Asian prostitutes?
Come on! It's a matter of life and death, man!
NO WAY! I'm not giving out the Pai-Ling sisters' numbers for anything!
How much 'bleedage' are we talking, here?

 

by Mastah_Disastah
1-28-03
That's twice you've avoided certain death tonight, Peebs. It's like you have a horseshoe up your ass.
Well, whatever it is, it's metal, anyways...
Shut up.
I need a doctor.
I said "shut up".

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