All comics by Mr_Jass

Profile

 

by Mr_Jass
12-14-01
Mr.
Jass
will
win
the
contest!

 

by Mr_Jass
12-15-01
Hey Brad.
Hey Mister Jass.
I heard you converted to Buddism.
Oh no, not in the least! I am faithful in religion, and those rumors were probably spread by the 13 year old fags down in Red Meat!
So you're still a Jassist?
Yep. In fact, I now send out over a thousand "Jass's Tracts" a day.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-17-01

 

by Mr_Jass
12-18-01
I need background info: Why exactly are we flying to Canada?
I already told you, we wanted to know the answer to the eternal question, "Does Brad pick his nose?"
Oh my god the airplane is crashing!
I told you it was a bad idea to pick Afghanistan Airlines.
So, who's your pick for winning this war?
Well, he has room for improvement as seen today, but clearly George W. Bush is better. And if you're wondering too, the answer is no.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-20-01
Clango is liking this much! Should be buying more girls often!
lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick
Uh oh Clango knew was loud too much, next time is quieter.
CLANGO HAVE YOUR FRIEND BE QUIETER! YOUR NOISE HAS DISTRACTED TOBOR SO MUCH HE CAN'T FIND PEOPLE'S ASSES!

 

by Mr_Jass
12-20-01
Everybody worship me, Mr Jass. I am the best ever.
I DO NOT SUCK DICK!
Then worship me, people who don't worship me suck dick.
KER-TRANS-FORM!

 

by Mr_Jass
12-20-01
"Mr. Jass got no votes whatsoever in the Mystery Cup."
What were the people thinking? Had the "Afghanistan Airlines" joke already been done?
Oh well, better luck next time.
You know what? There won't be a next time, because I will use my god-like powers to end the world.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-20-01
Hooray for clango has freed the man Jesus!
For freeing me, you get one wish.
Clango is wants of a bridging to the Hawaii so he can be drive there whenever is wanting.
But do you have any idea how much material that would take? I could do it, but the thickness_of_the_supports would be high. Anything else I can interest you in?
How about little cross man giving Clango powers to understand what is woman think?
Sigh, two lanes or four?

 

by Mr_Jass
12-20-01
Clango, will you worship Mr Jass?
The worshipping is done to the Jesus who is not you.
A wiseguy, eh? We have ways of torturing those who do not worship Mr Jass.
The torture me is not to be occur.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-20-01
Man of Jass, why always is the sentence of incorrect?
You're funnier that way. The funnier you are, the more likelier people will start worshipping me.
But why is then the lack of Pedantic's doctoring be existing?
Because Dr. Pedantic sucks.
The device to your left, Hugh, is an automatic death ray chamber. By the way, I missed what you last said, care to repeat it?

 

by Mr_Jass
12-20-01
The there rabbit thus his name is Fuck, what doing is by you?
im jsut sitin downn ona chiar
What has item in is mouth you being chewed as by you?
im etin summ sonflour seads
Are all you doing that?
im aslo rapin yoru wiffe

 

by Mr_Jass
12-20-01
Good is that the me has found skeleton for chat!
I own this place. Get the fuck out.
The understanding is set to no as why you are of high mean.
Don't make me fuck with you here.
The weapon is ultimate not wanted for using by me.
Ultimate weapon? I bet you don't have a cock, much less a weapon!

 

by Mr_Jass
12-20-01
Now the time is for your death!
You retarded fuck, I'm already dead.
Oh no that not too good, not thought of that either.
Dumbfuck.
No, the dumbfuck is you! The line of one panel for you should have been for you in the third panel!
Punch line timings can blow me.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-20-01
Clango now must punish you muchly, even if killing is no answer!
Yeah right, what are you going to do, shoot cum on my face?
Spell of transport through time you now!
Mirror reverse.
Such a lamer he is.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-20-01
The location of Clango where?
You are in the time channel. I can make you go to whenever I want you to go.
Hey that was said by who?
I'm the Channel Master. I'm invisible.
Clango has activation on for ultralight sensory to see the invisible!
Hey! That's not fair!

 

by Mr_Jass
12-20-01
So where time does Clango go to?
You start at the beginning of time, then go forward until the end.
That sound long, and miss the Simpsons Clango can't.
It's the one where they go on Spring Break. Bye now!
Help.... Clango....
That's so funny when Homer drinks all the beer!

 

by Mr_Jass
12-21-01
Clango in: The Beginning of Time
46000 beer bottles are on a wall, 46000 beer bottles, take a down one and around it is passed, 45999 beer bottles are on a wall!

 

by Mr_Jass
12-21-01
Clango in: The Beginning of Time
..and around it is passed, beer bottles of wall are lacking!
Things are still unhappenings. What next does done by Clango?
46000 different beer bottles are on a wall...

 

by Mr_Jass
12-21-01
Clango in: The Big Bang
35280 bottles of beer are on a wall, hey something going on is what?
Hey planet formations seen are by Clango!
35280 beer bottles, one is taken down and around it is passed...

 

by Mr_Jass
12-22-01
Clango in: The beginning of life
Wow, did not know that water me is proof.
Hey going on is what?
Oh no the attack is by made E. coli!

 

by Mr_Jass
12-22-01
Clango in: Undersea Life
Hey fish thing you are for reason what red?
Blub blub blub.
If talking is not you, then translator on is turned.
Actually, I am red because some day, when this thing called "StripCreator" exists, I will be used as an "Aqua Tobor" version of Tobor.
Interest is me that, explain me about the Tobor thing.
Tobor is a robot. You probably don't know what a robot is though.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-22-01
Clango in: Rule of the Dinosaurs
Dinosaur hey happening is what?
Oh, nothing much. Just looking for food. There haven't been any mastodons in ages.
Well suggestion is I have, food for eating be humans!
You retard, humans won't be around until long after our extinction. I can't eat any humans.
Being you is suck.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-22-01
Clango in: Rule of the Dinosaurs
Aha, I'll just kill this robot and then I'll have supper.
Killing me is not should done!
No wonder I never eat, they always slip away. Now I guess I know why I'm a herbivore.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-22-01
Hey the thing of sky is what?
Oh no, we all knew this would happen.
Activation of explosive proof is set to on. Apoligazations are given for the copy lack.
Gulp, goodbye, Clango. You've always been a good friend. Please tell future generations to respect us for we were once kings. Tell_the_entire_future to pay their respect to the "dinosaur".
What was the thing say? Must have been importance to no. Oh well, 470000 beer bottles are on a wall...

 

by Mr_Jass
12-22-01
Hey thing of bug, to the dinosaur what happen?
The huge meteor killed them all.
But the reason for what would this the meteor do?
Oh, it's probably just bad luck on our part.
Pluto, 63 Million BC
And you shall receive the "Honor_of_Mwertxqweldtzf" for destroying all dinosaurs.
Sucker, doesn't realize that Earth species won't gain knowledge to leave their planet for_millions_of_years.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-23-01
Clango has learned that Plutonians caused the dinosaur extinction in 63 million BC.
The reason is for what that you the dinosaurs killed?
It's part of our world takeover plan. Now we kill you. Laser! Fire now!
Set to on is the shield of reflective status!
Learning happened when the on status was set of the time portal!

 

by Mr_Jass
12-24-01
1 0\/\/|\| `/0|_|!!!!1
1 0\/\/|\| /-\|| `/0|_|R |>R3$3|\|+$!!!!1

 

by Mr_Jass
12-26-01
Hey Santa I will disguise you as myself.
This sucks.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-26-01
Did you know that Santa Claus is a were-reindeer?
GRAA!
Now why does that only happen when nobody's looking?

 

by Mr_Jass
12-26-01
HEY LITTLE GIRL WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I want the "CLEAN AND CLEAN MILLENIAL CLEAN" Barbie set!
BUT YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD DO YOUR WASHING AT THE WASH AND WASH MILLENIUM WASH!
WASH AND WASH is for people who suck dick!
I DO NOT SUCK DICK!
Right....

 

by Mr_Jass
12-26-01
First of all, I'm the only holiday character in this strip.
Second of all, this is the snowscape background.
Third of all, I am cast as a tentacle porn star.
Fourth of all, the background behind me should only be used once, but it is there twice.
Finally, the comic violates Rule Number 4.
That's okay, habnem worships me (as does anyone with at least half a brain cell), so he'll let me win anyways. Oh, and by the way, that tentacle gets me horny.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-27-01
I love cherries more than anything else!
CHOMP
Now them's good eatin', but could you stop balancing them on your nose?

 

by Mr_Jass
12-28-01
Ho ho ho, for post-Christmas I have fixed the stupid bug!
Hey you're not Santa you're Brad!
Well,this explains why all the good kids were rewarded with 24hour access to StripCreator.com and all the bad kids were punished by being chained to a computer with StripCreator.com access.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-28-01
I'm cold.
Ha ha!
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by Mr_Jass
12-28-01
Hey I've always wondered how do you make so many toys in one day?
I tap to produce mana and spend it to cast artifacts.
What in the hell do you mean?
Don't worry about, it's probably too difficult to understand, especially since you're a fag.
Last time I get my magic elves created by anyone from the coast. I knew I shouldn't trust wizards in any case.
If you weren't a fag, you'd understand. That's right, you fag, you're a faggy faggin fag!

 

by Mr_Jass
12-28-01
hay satna clawzs i no i rap seenyer cittisens butt pleez dont putt cole inn my stokin, beecas it juts maaks me FUCK moor ppl
ya wel u no wut i thikn i thikn FUCK u bihtc!
hay nou thas juts meen i cant blev u wud saa that, is juts FUCKign rong
ime sorie hou teh FUCK cann i maak itup two u
emajin tehrs teh wrod FUCK sed bye both uv teh tre adn satna clawzs
tahts a nys asss now sign taht etalyen sogn
wehn teh mun hist ur i liek a big peetsa pye is a moro (tahts teh etalyen sogn)

 

by Mr_Jass
12-28-01

 

by Mr_Jass
12-28-01
Hey will you go out with me?
Not on your life.
WHAT THE FUCK YOU BASTARD STOP DOING SO MUCH ACID IT RUINS YOUR ABILITY TO READ STRIPS!!!!! JUST THANK GOD THIS PANEL WASN'T GOING TO HAVE ANYTHING IN IT!
Um, yeah, I'm like, totally going to cornhole you, whatever.
Thanks for making the real character's float, you bastard.
Then how about a quick fuck?
Sure!

 

by Mr_Jass
12-28-01
So what's the word, my man?
Bad news. Osama bin Laden has taken over the coal mines and has halted coal production.
Do we have enough in reserve?
Only just enough for this year.
S'allright, by next year they'll have made Tribes 3.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-28-01
You misunderstand. I'm a ho
mm hmm
mo
mm hmm
sexual!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

 

by Mr_Jass
12-28-01
Mister Jass owns your ass!
As punishment for saying that, I condemn you to being a tree.
I still own your ass.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-28-01
Wanna play Dungeons and Dragons?
Okay.
I cast Transmute Blood to Poison on you.
Oh yeah, well, since I'm an elf, I have resistance to poisons. Then I cast Transmute Blood To Toxins on you.
I have inherent protection against them. Then I Transmute Blood to Venom you.
Elves are unaffected by venom. Now, I'm gonna Transmute Blood to Drug.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-29-01
I, Mister Jass, am your god. Worship me.
achully insted of woarshipping you i will rapp you okdok?
Gods are not for raping. And if someone's going to rape me, it sure as hell ain't gonna be you.
well then who can i rapp?
Nobody. you may worship nobody. I command you to cease all raping now.
aw tahts knoe fn. butt sense you ar god i wil stop rapping adn statr bildnig shriners in youre oner.

 

by Mr_Jass
12-30-01
Stop pointing at me.

 

by Mr_Jass
1-03-02
Ten animals I slam in a net.
Rape par.

 

by Mr_Jass
1-05-02
I think the FAQ should say something about posting comics in the forum!
That's not a bad idea, let me add it.
11. How do I post a comic I've written on the message board? How do I use other message board coding?
The help page you see linked when you go to write a post tells you how to use all of the available message board codes.
I hope that helps.
Nope. Add it again.

 

by Mr_Jass
1-05-02
We all think you're god!

 

by Mr_Jass
5-08-02
The wrestling company formerly called "World Wrestling Federation" is now called "World Wrestling Entertainment". This prevents confusion between it and the World Wildlife Fund.
For commentay, we will now... hey, where the fuck did the ground go? Anyways, we will now turn to some actual wildlife for commentary on this WWE/WWF issue.
Mr. Bear, your thoughts?
I want it back the way it was, I liked it when confused people thought I was Goldust!

 

by Mr_Jass
5-08-02
Mr. Jass, where have you been this whole time?
Seeing that I'm god, I've been doing the types of things that God would do.
Like washing dog crap.

 

by Mr_Jass
5-08-02
Yo. What up dog?
Son, you've gotta stop talking like a black person.
I ain't down wit yo racizzm on a count of it ain't a'ight.
As your father, I demand you cease talking like a negro.
Wee-wee, zheen I zall talk like zee, how you say, Frenchmen?
West coast or east coast niggers?

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