All comics by Nok1

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by Nok1
9-10-05
It's all your fault
It's all your fault!
It's all your fault!!
It's all..
Damn, shafted again.

 

by Nok1
9-10-05
We've almost accomplished everything - Iraq, the Patriot Act, and thousands of empy deaths. Now for the real thing.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Hm........?
Two Hours later...
I'm not sure that that there's possibly another way I can mispronounce more words than I already do.

 

by Nok1
9-11-05
What's new?
"Slap Paris Hilton's ass to win an IPod", "Shoot the Taliban to win $1000", "Click on the current president to win a new car!". That kinda stuff, you know, the usual.
That's ludicrous, they shouldn't be allowed to create advertisement to appeal to people based on recent scandals, wars, and people's ignorance.
But drawing people in with clever gimmicks is an art. It's the epitome of what our society has become. What do you know anyways?
You're reading this, aren't you?
Shit, I'm a talking squirrel.
Yes, yes you are. You're part of what we'd like to call irony.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
True Situation
So, what are you doing tomorrow?
Um...
My uncle's having a birthday party for his dog...

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
I always liked that one. I was trying to see which twin had the bigger ones.
I think the one on the left. I wonder if that makes the one on the right feel less adequate.
I mean how come she got screwed over with smaller tits?

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
I was thinking, you know...
Sigh, she's like one of those tamogatchis...
...and I have to keep cleaning up her poop.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Damn shower always taking up so much time.
Yeah, man, I wish we wouldn't have to shower or smell.
?
We could be self cleaning, like kitties.
Wow. I so totally got a mental picture of you cleaning yourself...

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Ah, a good show, How I Met Your Mother, Premieres Monday...
Nice
It was an add on our website.
Hm?
Geez, I'm so glad we're switch to another host.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
After saying I'm Rick James, Biiiattchh.
All the chick's at this movie I went to knew, they were like "Heey Riiiick".
Awkward Silence.
Or may be they didn't.... shit.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
"Hey is it true that all European guys have a third nipple? That's the rumor floating around here in Alabama." - YahooChat
"Anyone?" - YahooChat

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
I'm a thkater hater.


I treep skaters viss stick.
What's that?

Whatever, I eat Ukrainians for breakfast.
Then you must cough up furballs beetch.
Of course I skin them first.
...he got me there.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Decision 2004: Moving out of America
...out of America
Thank God.
Please, that kid couldn't move out of his parent's house.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Goddamn it, don't they understand that balls need to be contained?
Sigh, well she lets her birds out of the cage.
Moment of Silence.
Never speak of this conversation again.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
I'm quite liberal.
And I'm quite hairy.
I hate labels.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Ni Do Pi Go Hun Hao
Sagachi!
Retarted Asians. I think GAP has given them their confidence back.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Dude, you know what I hate?
What?
Little stupid asian 8th graders who think that they make a difference in the world.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
*Moan*
!?!?
The next day.
So Vietnam gave me a video of a guy fucking himself up the ass...
!?
...and said "itz hekza funy, mn"
What the...

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Every time she signs on, she greets me with "lets do it" and never shuts up. I guess she doesn't know how ugly I am.
Guess what? I got layed!
At least you'll have a sexy tan for Grant.
Okay, not funny.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Fubu shirt - $50 
Rocca Wear sweatshirt - $80 
Sean John hat - $30 


Realizing you're white...
*priceless*

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Dude, Joe, go find Waldo. (http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/waldo.htm)
Man,
When you send me links...
I get scared.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
8 in
8.5in.
Now doesn't that suck to be you, just half an inch.
Fuck you, mine was an estimate.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Hey, you know how I know you're gay?
How?
You have a bumper sticker on your car which says I like it from the back

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Dude..... Dude no way. Haha, yes we've got mormons at our house ber right back.
Ok.. I just saw a picture of a little asian guy screaming, Maks looking like hes got a baaaad case of hemarroid itch, and you looking like you're orgasming. All in the same...pool or lake or something
So I'm not good for sex eh. Ouch.
It's okay, I'd let you tell a joke inbetween BJ's.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Is it taking Anusville tonight? Cuz I heard the Vaginadome had a lot of traffic headed its way.
Anusville is no mans land, forbidden, interdit, forever. And maybe there's a lot of fighting competition for the "Vaginadome", but it sure as hell has a selective door policy.
What about Titsilvania?
Hey man, they're free for the taking if anyone can find them that is.
Is that a challenge? Don't be surprised that next time you see me I'll be holding what you thought was lost forever.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Ew. gross. I cannot imagine having a protrusion that flops around and sweats a ton.
Hey.. hey..
It doesn't flop around... it gracefully cuts through the air like a bird who is caught in an upbreeze.
Holy shit, Kon, that was the best imagery I've ever heard.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Stupid this, stupid that. Whatever. I'm going to bed. Go masterbate.
Remove a disk from yourspine and fucking give yourself head.
I wanna chew on a strawberry condom to see if it really tastes like strawberries. Otherwise I'll sue.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Thinks like this aren't made on purpose, they have to happen naturally.
That's why we have breast implants and plastic surgery.
When you grow up and have kids, you're going to be the guy with the beer belly sitting at his computer looking at amateur porn while your kids are crying on the floor because they're dying.
I kno how you love bitches.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
I'm representin' for the gangstahhhhs alll across the wuurrrlld
You're soo dying before me, and not in your sleep either.
I have a confession to make.







I brought the dog in the shower with me last night.
Yes?
I must admit, I never saw that one coming.
Kiss my ass and call me Charlie.
Eat my pussy and call me Felix, BITCH.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
I mean if I saw an 8th grade version of me walking around, I'd probly slap him.
Yeah, I would too.
Word.
You just got such an eye roll - my eyes were rolling like the rims on a yellow lambourgini.
Hm, this is new... remember my neighbors that used to play YMCA really loudly? Now I'm hearing "Wheel of Fortune".

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Now, you sound high.
I'll read over weekend. I promise.
Oreos and tea!!!
More like, Borsht and Vodka.
Whatever floats your boat .

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Dude, I was takin a shower, and I saw that you could change the shower head to make it a different thing...
Oh oh, slip and hit something?
...different water style coming out,so I turned it once, it was softer, I turned it again...
... and it was like two automatic machine guns and one of them nailed me in balls straight on, it hurt so fucking bad.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
I HATE MY PARENTS, THEY ALWAYS CALL ME AND SCREAM "YOU LIE YOU LIE".
The people from the ghetto don't like me. I want to be offered weed.
Online Convo
Now you get all the porn you want in 1/4 the time.
My sister's in the room you fag.

 

by Nok1
9-14-05
Dude, Ben, you didn't teach her the basics...
You can't teach black to an asian girl. All they good for is pouring you tea.
What about black chicks then?
Just like the Asians dawg...
Except this time it's lemonade and chicken.

 

by Nok1
9-15-05
So I had to do my math homework right
Yeah?
So I did part of #1 and #3 and then I wrote "see next page" on the bottom.
Mr. Louisa gave me full credit. I win.

 

by Nok1
9-15-05
And that's not even the punchline.
Amy, I'm gonna teach you some ebonics.
Ebonics? What's that?
Define: "Ima busta cap in yo' ass"
Uh..
I am going to.... something?

 

by Nok1
9-15-05
Jason, we're instating you into project Ebonics. How much do you already know?
Uh.. Not much?
Define: "What's this gat doin in mah ride"
Um.."... get out of my car?"
No. Gat means gun.
Damn. What the fuck. Gat? Eh. I thought it meant guy. Wonderful.

 

by Nok1
9-15-05
Oh I figured it out.
That's nice.
I actually used the help menu.
It never gets old.
You should say thats how I know I'm gay: "You used the help menu".

 

by Nok1
9-15-05
So today, people tried explaining to me how a tampon works...
Awkward silence.
I'm not sure if I was blocking it out insanely quickly, or whether I really didn't get how those things worked.
Heh.

 

by Nok1
9-15-05
Typing away at some homework.
Reasons for why we need to maintain a national defense: It's importable because human nature is to want more, so upholding armed forces as a precaution is a good idea.
Reasons to socialize the young: Start the brainwashing at young age.
Reasons to take anything but the front page of this assignment almost seriously: none.

 

by Nok1
9-15-05
*2% Milk!* Make's all the cows go crazy! MOOOOOO!
Fuck...
True story.
...I still have two of boxy's cows.

 

by Nok1
9-15-05
Louise, I spend hours in bed, just staring at my ceiling, trying to solve problems of the world.
Oh, well that's nice.
Like what the fuck do we do with Mexicans.
Haha and the Chinese.
Yeah, but you can muscle the them out of the way.

 

by Nok1
9-16-05
I can flip the black and white switch pretty smoothly. Sometimes I almost think it's like a dimmer for me.
Huh?
Flip.
Flip.
Pretty tight huh.

 

by Nok1
9-16-05
You know how I know you're gay?
How?
You want to eat at Dicks.

 

by Nok1
9-16-05
I despise people. People are what make our society fail. People who try to succeed, people who attemp to overachieve.
Why's that?
Think about it - the times that society has progressed, are the times that society has taken a risk and did something that was not socially accepted or socially different. The founding of America...
I see what you're saying. America was founded because people rose up . It became a place people could express themselves. Instead we're following the restrictions placed on us by society...
Who needs to live up to society's standards? We should all live up to our own. My point is that Asian people should just stop trying so hard. Those bastards.
Oh...

 

by Nok1
9-16-05
Ben, why you bleeding?
Foooo!
Ben why you bleeding?
FOOOOO!
Ben, what in the world happend to your knee?
FOOOO, I was playing basketball and I tried to block someone's shot.

 

by Nok1
9-18-05
It's either that I'm unattractive, or I have a very unattractive personality, or both. Now that would be a sad thing.
haha I just snorted..,
This is where I pat you, and give you something shiney to play with,
To distract me from THE TRUTH !?
Erm.. no... *hits the panic button and runs*

 

It'd be like so... hows this weather goi-BAM I JUST KICKED YOU IN THE VAGINA!
by Nok1, 9-18-05

 

Did I tell you I bought a bunny suit? Which reminds me, you're going to prom this year, aren't you?
by Nok1, 9-19-05

 

2:00 AM
ETA: about eight minutes.
That's what she said.
by Nok1, 9-19-05

 

by Nok1
9-19-05
2:30 AM
My favorite so far is still "for the emoluments annexed to their offices".
Yeah, it almost sounds like a threat.
Man, you're gonna have a blast reading all of this shit.
GIMME THOSE DONUTS, OR I'LL ANNEX THESE EMOLUMENTS TO YOUR OFFICE

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