All comics by Nostalgia_Man

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by Nostalgia_Man
1-20-02
For years now you have picked on me just because I'm black!
No it wasn't because you were black.....and have one eye.....and you're short. We picked on you because we were so jealous.
Oh right, because I thought you mocked me because I'm a black short one-eyed man.
And you're a Jew.....and you have a weird English voice....and your trousers are too high.
Oh so it was just with the jealousy.

 

by Nostalgia_Man
1-20-02
Hello we've "Only Just Begun" interviewing Simon on how he got his "Ticket to Ride" to meet the Carpenters.
Well it all started when I was playing, I won't say it!
Yes you will! It's the whole point to make up some slogans for "Rainy Days and Mondays"
Stop it!
Say the line!
I was playing "Solitare" There you happy now!

 

by Nostalgia_Man
1-20-02
Michael Jackson tries to bring back the days of when he was black.
Ben, the two of us need fight no more.
You sound nothing like Michael Jackson
I am Michael Jackson
My point proved.

 

by Nostalgia_Man
1-20-02
A long, long time ago, I can still remember how that Burma made me Shave
And I remember if I had my chance I could shave my balls with Dave.
And maybe they'll be happy for a while. But February made me shiver.
With every cut that would deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep.
Bloodspots were on every step.

 

by Nostalgia_Man
1-20-02
I can remember that I cried.
When I saw the blood deep outside.
But something touched me deep inside.
The day my beard went aside.
And they were singing "Bye bye Mr beard o' hair
You used to be there, but now you're bear." Burma Shave.

 

by Nostalgia_Man
1-20-02
Hello, I'm about to interview this ABBA fan who got the chance to be a "Dancing Queen" with her idols.
Yes I couldn't believe when I heard the good news I was like......
Do I have to?
Yes!
I was like "Mamma Mia"

 

by Nostalgia_Man
1-20-02
Hello, today is a bit different, I'm interviewing a celeb Queen fan who stayed away from "Fat Bottomed Girls" Bill Gates
Yes well "I want to be free" from my job.
So was it like a "Flash" when we came?
Yes well the radio was on and I was "Radio Ga Ga"
Famous people are way better at this.
Maybe it's because they are "Under Pressure"

 

by Nostalgia_Man
1-21-02
Hello, and welcome to VH1 FANatic Time Machine special, today we have Dean Martin to remember how he met Frank Sinatra.
Yes we met as "Strangers in the Night" in "New York"
Did he ever talk about "Love and Marriage"?
"Yesterday" he said and I quote "It's not "My Kind of Town""
He was really "The Best of Everything"
Yes you didn't have to "Send in the Clowns", "Come Rain or Shine", "Night and Day" it was always done as he said, "My Way"

 

by Nostalgia_Man
1-21-02
Just me or are you fed up of Frank taking all the credit?
I've been keeping an eye on him, but then couldn't see where I was going, but yeah, he does annoy me, with all his limelight.
I know, we could do what he wants, and "Fly him to the Moon"
Agreed.
Piss!

 

by Nostalgia_Man
1-22-02
Why do you drink so much?
I drink to forget.
To forget what?
I don't know, I forgot that a long time ago.
I spill more than you drink, sometimes you get so drunk I can hardly see you!

 

by Nostalgia_Man
1-22-02
Welcome back to Jeopardy.
And the final question.....He supposedly went out with Marilyn Monroe.
Who is John F. Kennedy?
Don't be stupid! It's you Frank
*Who is* Frank Sinatra?

 

by Nostalgia_Man
1-22-02
Welcome back to Jeopardy, the Carpenters special.
And the final answer...... It is two pieces of wood stuck together.
What is a long plank?
Karen, it's clearly a cross!
*What is* a cross?

 

by Nostalgia_Man
1-23-02
Rich, we need a new song.
I was thinking of a song that was about us making contact with aliens.
Wouldn't it make more sense to go with the traditional love song.
Trust me, people like songs about aliens!
You sure you haven't lost it?
I said "Trust me people like songs about aliens!"

 

by Nostalgia_Man
1-23-02
So, did you like "Close to You"?
Not really, I prefere "Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft"
So, did you do it your way?
Um, yeah, of course..... honest it wasn't Sammy!
So...... Hows your religion thing going?
Not well, people are into aliens more now.

 

by Nostalgia_Man
1-25-02
R2-MART-IN What will we do, Darth Davis is taking over the world?
blip blip whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir
Darth Davis, your rein will now end.
No, I think you'll find it's the end of time *breath* for you Obi-Sin-Art-Tra
zzzzzzzooom zzzzzoooom
Frank*breath*, I am *breath* your shadow!

 

by Nostalgia_Man
2-09-02
Now, to get you away from Tobor's evil plans, we'll send you back in time.
I wonder if it will involve the Rat Pack...
Funny you should mention that.......
No, it is acutually funny, really you are going to the stone age.

 

by Nostalgia_Man
2-09-02
Well, this is the stone age, sure is cold.
RAAAAAR!
Ahhhhh, no it's all in my mind, all in my mind.

 

by Nostalgia_Man
2-09-02
Yes, your mind to be cornholed!
Wait, why aren't you shouting?
Shouting? Oh yes ahem RAAAR! YES, YOU MIND TO BE CORNHOLED!
That sure did hurt, I've learnt my lesson.
WOW! NOSTALGIA_MAN REALLY HAS GONE DOWNHILL SINCE ANNOUNCING HE WAS BAZILLA, WHAT A STUPID MISTAKE!

 

by Nostalgia_Man
3-17-02
Who are you?
Nat King Cole of course!
Who?
You know "Unfrgettable" and "Mona Lisa"
Oh, so you're an artist.
You *could* argue that music is art, yes.

 

by Nostalgia_Man
3-17-02
Hi, I'm Sting from the "Police".
God, what a terrible pun!
Who are you then?
Barry *White*!
Oh, and do you believe in "Superstitions"?
You idiot! That was Stevie Wonder, you're so bad at this!

 

by Nostalgia_Man
3-17-02
Hi, I'm Nostalgia_Man, and I'm back!
I went away when it was announced that I was that rebel punk.
DragonXero's back!?
No! I'm talking about Bazilla.
But he's not a rebel, and as for his punk skills, they don't exist.

 

by Nostalgia_Man
3-17-02
Hi, I'm Jude Law!
Hey Jude!

 

by Nostalgia_Man
3-17-02
Today on Parkinson, I will be talking to..
Oh shit not again!
Ow! Fuck, get him off me!

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