All comics by Professor_Murda

 

Bloody Pen Caps by Professor_Murda 6-15-02
Meanwhile... Vince, despite your recent..."incident"...with Rudolph, I'm giving you just one more chance to stay on the Claus team...	...but just remember that....wait a minute, why is that box whimpering? It's a puppy! That's what Billy from Caldwell asked for, remember?	CHRISTMAS IS STILL FIVE WEEKS AWAY! Don't worry, one more knock to the head should put it in stasis until then!

 

James eats Red Meat by Professor_Murda 6-15-02
Meanwhile... By no will of my own, I seem to be at a Journey concert.	Christ almighty, why must such such hideous noise exist? Why do they not DIE?	God, I love Journey. I know, son...that's the only reason I have not yet stricken Steve Perry down.

 

Sheepless in Seattle by Professor_Murda 6-15-02
Meanwhile... Ugh...I'm stuck at the Sea-Tac Airport for another THREE HOURS...	Excuse me... Oh, hello...are you lost?	Naw, G...Wanna buy some crack? I want to go home...

 

Red-Headed Stepchildren by Professor_Murda 6-16-02
Meanwhile... I don't understand...When we were talking at the bar, we seemed to have so much in common!	You said you liked to get freaky, just like me! So why are you leaving?	Look...I fucked your dog, I shit in your purse...there's nothing more for me here. Good day, ma'am.

 

Nerds in Toyland by Professor_Murda 6-16-02
Meanwhile... Main screen turn on. It's you. How are you gentlemen. All your base are.... Mighty fuck, Bob! NOBODY wants to hear that shit anymore! You haven't been out of this room for months! You stink of your own feces! I'm outta here.	SLAM!	Move out every Zig.

 

Political Hamsters by Professor_Murda 6-16-02
Meanwhile...		Already use your one strike? Yeah, a long time ago.

 

Dan Rather Overdrive by Professor_Murda 6-16-02
Meanwhile...in 1982 Hey, want to go play some Defender? Nah, I've got to go score some sweet, sweet cocaine.	...1992 Hey, want to go play some Super Mario World? Nah, I've got to go do some looting in L.A.	...2002 Hey, want to go play some Tony Hawk 3? Nah, I've got to go dump my Arthur Andersen stocks before the government tracks me down.

 

Rotary Blade Erotica by Professor_Murda 6-21-02
Meanwhile... Hi, thanks for calling Game Mart, where you can order the new Dragonball Z game for Gamecube today and save 5% on your next purchase... *RING RING*	...of the Gameboy Advance which you can now get for an amazing $70, which includes a free copy of Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3, how can I help you? *CLICK!*	Why do they always hang up before even saying why they called? Maybe we have to tell them about more deals before we let them talk...cut the Gameboys to $50.

 

Understanding Modern Typesetting by Professor_Murda 4-07-03
Meanwhile... As an obvious parody of a major franchise, I feel unfulfilled in my existance. Yeah, I know what you mean.		Life is so bleak. So why don't you go write in your Blog about it, you whiny twit?!

 

Rocky Mountain Run-Off by Professor_Murda 11-24-09
Meanwhile... This productivity-enhancing chemical additive they put in the water cooler sure packs a punch! Oh, I know! At my other job, they've been feeding it to us non-stop for months!	Uhhh, maybe you shouldn't be double-dosing this stuff. Nonsense! I've never felt better in my life!

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