All comics by Psionicist

Profile

 

by Psionicist
7-26-02
What a boring day. I wonder when we're going to get some excitement around here.
AND SUDDENLY!
I SHALL DESTROY ALL THAT YOU HOLD DEAR, AND THEN SENTENCE YOUR SOUL TO HELL!
Hey! Where are you going?
To get a beer.

 

by Psionicist
7-26-02
AND SUDDENLY! The comic ends.
This sucks.

 

by Psionicist
7-26-02
Hey, what's this?
*beep*
AHHHHHHHH!

 

by Psionicist
7-26-02
*ring ring*
*ring ring*
That's not funny.

 

by Psionicist
7-26-02
And Suddenly!
HAHAHA! Come with me, pitiful soul! For I, Satan, shall deliver pain and suffering that surpasses anything you have ever experienced, mortal!
Yeah, sure.
What? You're not afraid of me?
Nope. Not a bit.
Fool! How dare you underestimate the power of Satan! I demand you tell me why you do not quiver with fear at the very mention of my name!
I've been married to your sister for 14 years.

 

by Psionicist
7-26-02
After being offended, Satan throws our temporary hero in jail.
Well, this has taken a turn for the depressing.
Hey, is that the exit?
What the...? Hey!
Bye Satan!

 

by Psionicist
7-26-02
Well, that ending sucked. I'm surprised he didn't give chase.
FOOL! You shall forever rue the day you messed with me, Sat -- wait a minute. What the hell?
I'm over here.

 

by Psionicist
7-26-02
In other news, a week long debate between historians on the best phrase to describe the Clinton Era has come to a close this afternoon.
The historians decided upon the term "Sex Between The Bushes".
Now that's politics!

 

by Psionicist
7-27-02
So about that whole 'destroying everything you hold dear and selling your soul to Hell' thing...
First, I want you to meet someone.
Mwuahahaha.
Demon, this is Wirthling. Wirthling, meet Demon. Wirthling and I are good friends.
AHH! WIRTHLING IS EATING THE FLESH OFF OF MY FACE!
Good friends indeed.

 

by Psionicist
7-27-02
The Nightmare Begins
WELCOME TO MICROSOFT WORD 7.0
*clackity-clack-clack*
Hello! How may I assist you?
. . . *click-clackity-clack-clack*
HEY! It looks like you're trying to write a letter!
That's it. I'm getting the gasoline.

 

by Psionicist
7-27-02
Behold my latest creation!
A bunch of robot animals?
Bloodthirsty suckers, aren't they?

 

by Psionicist
7-30-02
Hmm.. marshmellows.

 

by Psionicist
7-31-02
Aw, damn it. I got my first traffic ticket.
What happened?
Well, I was pulled over for driving erratically and so I tried to flirt with the officer to maybe get off with a warning.
Really? How'd it go?
I got another one for indecent exposure.

 

by Psionicist
7-31-02
You know, I tried flirting with a female trooper once to get out of a speeding ticket.
What happened?
She gave me a sobriety test.

 

by Psionicist
8-05-02
Hey, you're the one with the army of mechanical animals.
Why, yes. Yes I am.
They destroyed my home and everything that was beautiful and pure!
Yup, they do that sometimes.
Well, I was wondering if you could---
No time to talk, Jerry Springer's coming on.

 

by Psionicist
11-25-02
So, have you ever had any weird moments?
Well, one time I wore a bra and told my mother I'm a crossdresser.
What kind of bra?
White lace.
Can we say tacky?

 

by Psionicist
11-25-02
Introducing Bryan...
So, uh.. why am I the artsy mac user?
Because I love you!
Don't touch me.

 

by Psionicist
11-25-02
Introducing more Bryan!
Uhh.. you know, I haven't said anything funny yet.
Yup.
Shouldn't we be doing something?
Nah.

 

by Psionicist
11-26-02
Hey guys, Bryan left to make his own comic, so I've been told to come out here and keep the audience interested while he's gone.
I think his comics will be pretty dumb. I mean, how can a guy with a whoopy cushion on his head be funny, unless someone sat on his head. That would be funny.
Speak for yourself, you look like you put your head under a freakin' lawnmower.

 

by Psionicist
11-26-02
Hey, what game are you playing?
Counter-Strike. It's pretty neat, but I thought it was stupid until this dude gave me an upgrade!
Upgrade? What kind of upgrade?
I dunno! But it helps me aim and see through walls! It's so l33t!
That guy didn't happen to have a [myg0t] tag, did he?

 

by Psionicist
11-27-02
Hey, kids, want to hear something funny?
I suppose you were waiting for me to make a random religious joke that has some sort of connection with child molestation and priests.

 

by Psionicist
11-29-02
You know, I never understood those 'anti-preps' and 'anti-goths'.
How's that?
Well, for people who are supposed to be beyond the 'societal stereotyping', they sure have a hard time letting it go.
True.
Not only that, but in the process, they created a stereotype unto theirselves.
I guess there's just no more originality left in the world.

 

by Psionicist
11-29-02
It has come to our attention that most of the author's comics really . . . well, they really suck. In fact, most of them aren't even very funny.
Out of the previous 22, only about 8 or 9 are really amusing or have a point. I don't even think a raving lunatic on LSD can appreciate the poor quality showcased here.
So we decided to just let you all know that the author, like you, thinks that most of these comics do, indeed, suck the tit of suck, and that he promises to no longer bring you comics . . .
. . . that really just plain suck. Also, he wants to apologize to you for having wasted your time with all that suck. Thank you.

 

by Psionicist
11-29-02
I like Home Movies.
Pornos?
No.. the cartoon.
Oh. But home movies? Those are home movies?
Ye--no.. No, it's.. the name of the cartoon.
The name of the cartoon is Home Movies?

 

by Psionicist
11-29-02
So what's Home Movies about?
You know.. people. Doin' stuff. It has an 8 year old in it.
Didn't need to be so graphic.
Oh, was it too much?
It turned me on, though.
Oh yeah?

 

by Psionicist
12-02-02
I just ate a six dollar candy bar. And frankly, you didn't.
So?
Uh, I'll share half.
But you all ready ate it.
It's chocolaaaaaaate!
Doesn't that belong in a toilet somewhere?

 

by Psionicist
1-01-03
A lonely internet nerd stumbles upon StarWars.com . . .
Star Wars-themed credit cards? Right on!
Hey, did you hear about those Star Wars credit cards?
What?
Lucasfilm and MBNA America made Star Wars credit cards with Lord Vader and Master Yoda! And you can use them to earn points towards Star Wars merchandise and gift certificates! I'm gonna apply today!
You truly are a nerd.

 

by Psionicist
1-05-03
Hey, why do you look so sad?
I think the fish I caught yesterday is dying. He won't eat.
So kill him and eat it.
That's gross!
Fine, let him die naturally. Fucking PETA whore.

 

by Psionicist
1-06-03
Do you know what 'fistulae' means?
Plural form of fistula; an abnormal 'tunnel' through one organ to another or to the surface of the skin permitting passage of fluid, typically. A nearly verbatim definition.
Actually, it means bong.
Neat.

 

by Psionicist
1-27-03
I think there comes a time in every persons life where they find a piece of candy hidden away in some dark corner of their room, and think about wether or not to eat it.
Last time I did that, I found out it wasn't a Snickers bar.
Oh.. my god.
I joke! I joke!

 

by Psionicist
5-03-03
I point, and I laugh.
Why don't you take that finger you're pointing with and stick it up your ass!
I ALL READY DID!

 

by Psionicist
6-08-03
Amusing anecdote.
Witty point.
Selfless admission of defeat, or a witty counter-point.

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