Its time for a talk, son. A talk about why you should save your money. ..
Crap...
If I bought only little things that could make me happy for a while then I could never afford to get big things like a new car or a fancy new suit.......so the moral of this story is that you shou-
I heard that the New York Mega Million Jackpot is like 165 million dollars....
I'm gonna make you scream in pain...... ooh its gonna be bloody.....
Oh, hello. Sorry I didn't notice you before. You see I was busy feeding my bulldog and loading my husbands shotgun for hunting tommarrow... so what business do you have with me?
Hello! This is a great party the big boss is throwing! I've never seen you before! Are you in the lower B section offices? You must be becasue I know everyone in A and D sections! Wait a minute!
I know you! Your the new mailroom man I hired! Great to see you! Wow I can't believe I forgot your face! I was busy with my prototype meetings to get to see you! Well, it sure is good to see you!
Oh ya? Well one time I killed a man with my penis!
Wow, two days into the job and I've already made a friend!
Hello america! Today I have a special report on: The Fight For Iraq! We all know that the war is the best thing for america and that the real hero in this whole battle isn't the soldiers.....
..it's the president. You see every second this patriotic hero is fighting to keep America safe from terrorists. Even now he is doing heavy thinking on how to best give freedom to the Iraqi people.
Meanwhile the president is doing some of his "heavy thinking"...
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! Oh man that was good... does anyone every notice that me and spongebob both like dem jellyfish?
The disadvantages of having a serial killer as your best friend.....
What's up man? How's it going?
Good, good.... I've been doin' some thinking and I have to kill you...and so now that we're in a secluded area, I think this would be the best time to do it....
But.. what.. are you tallking about.. dude ...
I'm sorry but your time is up..... I need to stab you....dude look the more you scream and cry... the more its gonna' hurt... so sit back and relax as I plunge this knife into your chest...
NO! MAN YOU CAN'T DO THIS, DUDE COME ON, MAN!! NO!! HELP ME!!! HELP ME!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!! HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!! HEEEEELLP MEEEEE!
APRIL FOOLS!!!! HAHHAHHAHHAHAAA! I GOT YOUR HAHAHAHAAA!! OH MAN.....
Hey man..... I heard your feeling a little depressed....so I thought I should come by and maybe cheer you up a little bit...
It's no use! I feel horrible... I accidently ran over my own dog, my girlfriend left me, I just found out I have cancer and its the testicle kind...
Ouch..... I see your point.. but you still have a lot of great things in life... like.... your own apartment... I mean I have to live with a fat guy in a small, cramped dorm...
I just got the eviction note so.. I guess it's all over...
Hey! Don't talk like that! You have so much life ahead of you, I mean look at that ad! It says that you just won a PS4! See? You already in luck...
I woke up this morning and I put my foot in slippers shaped like bunnies but then I relized that they were actual bunnies and that my foot was up there ass.
So to repay them pay I let them wear my clothes and I wear a bunny suit and they rape me over and over for about 5 minutes for 10 days, but then today one of their dicks got stuck in my ass...
...and I had to chop the lil' thing out... oh wait! I got to go... they get mad if I get to them late...they're get pretty rough on the ass when they're mad so ...well...cya...
...and he then said that he was sick of bananas! He is soo stupid!
Your mom is stupid!
My mom is dead...
Wow, this is almost as awkward as getting talked to about STD's by my grandma...
...and then once he had his fill he decided that he was done. But later I found out that he had AIDS. You see sexual intercourse transmits STD's because the males penis inserts in the females va-
I love saying Smuckers... I feel important... Smuckers, Smuckers, Smuckers.......... wow.... I feel warm... Smuckers...
Dude you better shut the fuck up!
There's no stopping me... the name was made by some genius...Smuckers... Smuckers... I could say it forever... infact I'll probably die when saying Smuckers...
Dude seriously stop...
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! GOD DAMN SMUCKERS!!!!
Well you heard it here folks. Saying Smuckers will make you spontanestly combust...
While I was searching for clues in a graveyard an mysterious penguin stalked me. I was confused! What could it possible want? I was gettig scared! Could it be evil!?
I pulled out a gun and got ready to shoot it square in the temple! But then, something in its eyes caught me! A message of sorts. Something he was trying to tell me. Sea? SEX!? SEAMEN!? SUCKKY???
Well he obviously wanted me and so I tarted to strip naked and get my groove on...