All comics by Ranma_X.

 

by Ranma_X.
3-06-01
I just found out my life is a meaningless lie, full of hatred and cruel irony.
I mean, what's the point of living if your nothing you do has meaning? Why must the world be so harsh and cruel?
I guess this isn't a good time to tell that I pooped in your machine, ate through the wiring and decided to use it as a hibernation shelter

 

by Ranma_X.
3-06-01
And so...it begins
This thing on?
And so...it begins
Okay...I know its been a long time coming ad we have to bear the burdens of our troubled brethren, but...
And so...it begins
FOR GOD'S SAKE, STOP SAYING "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!" Dammit!

 

by Ranma_X.
3-06-01
Psst...Psst...hey Gabe!
Oh Jesus...It's Jesus bugging me again
Gabe? Have you ever thought about the awe and wonder that is my religion?
Um, uh...No Jesus..I haven't.
I mean you should, since I died for your sins and all...
God, fucking kill me so I don't have to hear your nerd of a son speak to me.

 

by Ranma_X.
3-06-01
..........
Aww Jesus, not this guy
...
Uh-oh. I don;t like the look on his face.
Hmm...I think I'm going to look at some pr0n now
Shit!

 

by Ranma_X.
3-06-01
It always begins with a simple conversation
Yo dawg. 'sup?
Nutin much dawg. Just Chillin'.
It then progresses onward...
Dang, it be quiet 'round here yo.
Yeah. We be alone, I think dawg.
To its natural conclusion
I so wanna have sex with you dawg.
I so want you to have sex with me, dawg.

 

by Ranma_X.
3-06-01
Hey again Gabe!
Oh...hey Jesus
Did you know the Christianity is one the largest religions in the world?
God Dammit! Satan, help me out here, please!
*Beep* You've reached the Devil. Your call is important to us, but due to unusually high call volume...
Hmm? did something happen?
Shit

 

by Ranma_X.
3-07-01
God I hate clowns...
God I hate gamers...

 

by Ranma_X.
3-07-01
There are those who believe that hell is being trapped in a room with your freinds forever...
Dude, where the hell are we?
Why am I here? Do I have anything worth living for?
I mean are we dead or alive man?
So what do I do now?
Other people, beg to differ.
I wish I was playing Everquest about now.
You are so fucking dead now.

 

by Ranma_X.
3-08-01
Oh not this shit again.
And now...Heeeere's David Leno O'Brian Kilborn!
Do people actually watch this crap every night?
Haha. Thanks one guy in the band who I'm supposedly friends with. Now on to my unfunny, witless monologue!
God I wish Dennis Miller would bust in with a Glock and kill him...
Ha ha ha. But seriously, on to our guests: A cutesy pop singer , a comedian, and some other guy no one gives a shit about!

 

by Ranma_X.
3-10-01
In AD 21XX, there was war.
Call now and get twice as much of this shit that ostensibly cleans everything!
Very few people survived.
So how the fuck is this still playing on TV?
Remember! Only Ronco(tm) can keep your food dehydrated and your baldspots unnoticed with spraypaint!
Those that did realized the truth quickly...
I didn't try keeping my ass alive during Armageddon for this! Now where did I put that cyanide...
Attention Citizens! Invest in the power of selling phone cards while you invest in precious metals!

 

by Ranma_X.
6-13-01
It begins with a moment of confusion...
What the hell am I doing here?
Welcome! I'm the Little Prince...Or at least I am now, seeing as I ate him.
You sense that somewhere, no matter how far...
Looks Like we're going to die.
Yeah...Let's get busy!
Someone is having sex with an animal
Oh no! My love is commiting adultery with a squirrel!
Well I'm always around for...comfort, heh heh heh.

 

by Ranma_X.
6-13-01
Hey, that looks like a plane is exploding
and crashing down towards us
Hey, it looks like the plane is going to crash into Chinatown
Dude, I am so under the influence(baked, stoned, high, etc.)!
What am I going to do now?
I don't know. Maybe you'll only get convicted of manslaughther as opposed to genocide.

 

by Ranma_X.
6-16-01
Gee, DO you think it was a good idea to let that guy sublet our trunk?
Well, maybe not, but I did steal his wallet and besides, after the LSD and horse tranqs I fed him, I doubt we'll even notice him.

 

by Ranma_X.
6-16-01
At the local disco, NeoVid hits it off with a lady.
So that's your dad that NeoVid 's dancing with?
Yep, well used to be my 'dad' anyways.

 

by Ranma_X.
6-18-01
Over the weekend, a wedding was horibbly interrupted when a drunk man calling himself, "Ranma X." crashed the event.
Witnesses say he was not noticed until the reception where he began breaking furniture and eating small children.
Luckily he was subduded by a guest named "Lady J" when she fell on to him after failing to catch the bouquet and tripping over her feet.

 

by Ranma_X.
6-18-01
Over the weekend, a wedding was horibbly interrupted when a drunk man calling himself, "Ranma X." crashed the event.
Witnesses say he was not noticed until the reception where he began breaking furniture and eating small children.
Luckily he was subduded by a guest named "Lady J" when she fell on to him after failing to catch the bouquet and tripping over what witnesses refer to as "her gargantuan, nay Godzilla-like feet."

 

by Ranma_X.
6-19-01
Great! It's finally summer!
I don't know what's so great about it. It's hot,humid, and I think I've lost a quart of blood friom the mosquitoes and-WHAT THE HELL?!.
AR NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM!
God I love this time of year
That was good, but I'm still hungry though...

 

by Ranma_X.
6-05-02
Wow! It's so good to be back!
I really should see how the site has changed and all.
TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!!!
Not much, it seems...

 

by Ranma_X.
6-06-02
What the Hell are you doing?
*sniff* *sniff*
Are you crying?
*sniff* NO! ...*sniff* *sniff* YES.
Why?
BECAUSE I CRUSH MORE HU-MAN THIS WAY!!

 

by Ranma_X.
6-06-02
Can I get your name before your audition?
Name's Rita and I work across the street givin' 5 buck blowjobs
Wow! You were born to play Ophelia in my furry version of Hamlet!
You sure?
Yes. Of course, I'm only saying that because I could use some lovin', if you know what I mean?
For you? Twenty bucks.

 

by Ranma_X.
6-07-02
Hey Kid. What you hangin' 'round here for?
Sorry about that. I was waiting for that bum to leave so I could take a crap in that alley over there

 

by Ranma_X.
6-07-02
Manha tão bonita manhã Na vida uma nova canção/Cantando só teus olhos, teu riso, e tuas mãos/ Pois há de haver um dia em que virás
Das cordas do meu violão que só teu amor procurou/ Vem uma voz falar dos beijos perdidos nos lábios teus/ Canta o meu coração alegria voltou, tão feliz a manhã deste amor
That was the strangest dream ever Jesus.
Do you wanna do it or not?

 

by Ranma_X.
6-10-02
In the time of the Apocalypse... the armies of Hell will rise up and destroy mankind.
The legions of thousands gather. Demonic Hellspawn ready for the slaughter...
Led by the greatest evil of all.
*clap clap* All right people, gather around! Ve have vone hour before ve takes over ze vorld!

 

by Ranma_X.
6-10-02
Well...I'm off to play an angry neighbor in an Adam Sandler movie!
Patrick Swayze?

 

by Ranma_X.
6-10-02
In the time of the Apocalypse, the armies of Hell will rise up and destroy mankind...
The legions of thousands gather: Demonic Hellspawn ready to consume humanity...
Led by the greatest evil of all.
*clap clap* All right everyvone!, gather around! Ve have vone hour before ve takes over ze vorld!

 

by Ranma_X.
6-18-02
Gotta run! Gotta find a life!
Gotta run! Gotta find a life!
Gotta run! Gotta find a life!
Gotta run! Gotta find a life!
Oh, hey Jesus, didn't see you there.
Um, Bongo, there's something I've been meaning to tell you...

 

by Ranma_X.
6-18-02
Oh God, 72 hours...There's so much I've been living for..
Oh God, 72 hours...There's so much I've been living for..
Oh God, 72 hours...There's so much I've been living for..
Um....I'm waiting.

 

by Ranma_X.
6-18-02
Oh god, 72 hours. There's so much I've wanted to do.
Like eat a Hardees one more time and watch 'Attack of the Killer Tromatoes' while scratching myself
Then I guess staring longinlyu at George Clooney and...
*Ahem* I'm waiting

 

by Ranma_X.
6-18-02
Oh god, 72 hours. There's so much I've wanted to do.
Like eat at Hardees one more time and watch 'Attack of the Killer Tromatoes' while scratching myself
Then staring longinly at George Clooney and...
*Ahem* I'm waiting

 

by Ranma_X.
6-18-02
Oh god, What am I gonna do? I can't just stand here, I have only 72 hours isn't a lot of time, I have to think. Think! God dammit man, think! What do I want to do with the rest of my short life...
*HONK HONK* Watch out!!!!
Damn. I missed the bus.

 

by Ranma_X.
6-26-02
Relationships suffer from moments of confusion, when one wonders why they enjoy the company of the other...
Are you sure this is okay?
Positive, no one will notice us, heh heh.
A couple can take steps to ease this discomfort by taking up a group hobby
All right...
There you go. Don't forget the 'toys'
In short: The Couple that Commits Felonies Together, Stays Together.
Okay, asshole! Out of the Miata or I'll shoot your ass!!
God, I love her.

 

by Ranma_X.
6-26-02
I'm glad you're playing one of my RPGs, honey. How are you liking Final Fantasy X so far?
Umm...It's okay I guess.
What's wrong? Are you understanding the controls and leveling system?
Yes that's fine. It's just...
Just What?
Can I play Grand Theft Auto 3 instead? I get to steal Corvettes and shoot people.

 

by Ranma_X.
7-17-02
Let's see, what was I thinking of again?
I love the smell of napalm in the morning...The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like ... victory. Someday this war is gonna end.
I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. That's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight razor, and surviving.
Arigato, we love you!
Oh right! Kix: Kid tested, Mother Apporved
SCROE!!!

 

by Ranma_X.
7-19-02
You were in that animated TV show, weren't you.
You sucked! You and that gay assed chipmunk pal of yours!
So says the 'anti-matierialist' Gap model

 

by Ranma_X.
7-19-02
Today I was hungry and it wasn't supper time yet, so I had a Snickers.
If it wasn't for their "Hungry? Why wait?" ad campaign, I probably wouldn't have known that I didn't have to wait in order to eat a Snickers bar.
So I guess it's a good thing they have those commercials, since at 6 calories a pop, oral sex at the bathouse isn't very filling

 

by Ranma_X.
8-13-02
Oh yeah baby...Just like that
I still don't know why this turns you on, but 40 bucks is 40 bucks
Shut up bitch! Come here and let me drive that nail in myself...
Steve! Help!
All Right! Now what have I told you about touching the staff?!
Aw baby, where ya gots ta go?

 

by Ranma_X.
9-07-02
My life began somewhere in the early 80's. Doesn't matter though. I don't remember anything until 1986. When I awoke from a nightmare. Driven from a dreamstate by fear into life.
About the time I was 5 we had moved from whatever pisswater town we were in to Miami. My parents divorced when I was 6 and I guess that about the time I realized my mom and I never see eye to eye.
Dios mio! This room is a mess!
But I know where everything is. And it's going to get like this anyways!
As a precocious child of the late 80's, I was into children's mass culture like Pee-Wee, Nintendo. I was also a rather effeminate child, so I in fact owned a Popple. Ahh! The wonders of hindsight,
Dude I just beat 8-8 in Mario Brothers! I was so happy I hugged my Popple!!
Uh...okay...I'm gonna have to kick your ass now

 

by Ranma_X.
9-07-02
I was rather precocious in school as a child. I don't think I was a prodigy per se, but I hoped so. It helped make things make sense, though it also gave me the fear of going insane.
Hmm...maybe this schoolyard violence is overrated...Guys?
Owww...
I wasn't a geek who always got beat up. You learn after a while you have do a litte ass kicking to get any respect at all in this town. Unfourtunately I also tend to wait until the breaking point.
Tu quieres mas, bitch?! I'll fucking kick your ass again!
Shit, hijo de puta. I 'll stay the fuck away from you psycho!
At some point in this I eneterd middle school(Junior high). I have no memory of this. really.

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