Oh Jesus! by SaladBarBlues2-03-03 I Miss You. I'll Be Back In Three Days. I Still Miss You. I'm In The Scriptures, You Can Visit Me Every Sunday. I'd Really Like To Come And See You. Stop Being Such A Faggot.
At the park... by SaladBarBlues2-04-03 So the other day, I was just sitting at the park... And it dawned on me, that all I've ever wanted, all I've ever needed, was right there at that park. The love of a squirrel... Let's be together.
Fake Meat by SaladBarBlues2-04-03 I've never really understood why people say "funner than a barrel of monkeys". I guess they've never been inside a barrel of monkeys.
The Thing About Squirrels Is... by SaladBarBlues2-04-03 Squirrels are so cute... but they're all the same, furry on the outside... ...fury on the inside.
Boomin' Granny by SaladBarBlues2-04-03 What Is It Exactly That Makes Girls So Attractive? Oh Yea... The Way They Smell Like Death.
Bad Case of the Robo-Blues by SaladBarBlues2-05-03 It's been four days and she hasn't called me... That's it! I'm through with dating! This is enough! *Ring* *Ring* FUCK!
The Educated Cowboy by SaladBarBlues2-08-03 Well, Lookee Here! This Must Be That Done Educated Cowboy I've Been Hearin' So Much About. What Stance Do You Take On The Issue Of Continuing Stem Cell Research? Whaaaaaaa?!?!?!?! Is Those Fighting Words!? WELL, IS THEY??? Sigh...
The Tragic Cowboy. by SaladBarBlues2-09-03 My Dad Left My Mom And I When I Was Only Two, And Then Today I Was Fired From The Job I've Had Since College, It's All I Know How To Do... Damn... My Dog Just Died, My Car Has Been Impounded, And My Fiance Left Me Just Four Minutes Ago... Atleast You Still Got Your Horse, Right? She Was My Fiance. Damn.
What's the point? by SaladBarBlues2-24-03 I think I'm in love with you. You're beautiful, funny, smart, everything I want in a girl. Well, can't you atleast say something? Baa
The Matador Makes A Friend; I = Matador, All Of You = Alien by SaladBarBlues4-23-03 I'd really like to get to know you. What does it all mean?
Oh Snap! by SaladBarBlues8-10-03 Your eyes are like deep blue oceans. Why don't you dive in? Oh Snap! He doesn't even wear a watch! I don't want to mess up my watch.
Loudmouth Love by SaladBarBlues8-10-03 I'm not talking to you until you tell me why you haven't been listening me lately! I'm going to stop listening to you until you tell me why you've been so quiet lately! I already told you a million times! I already told you a mllion times! Fine then, I'm going to stop listening to you until you tell me why you've been so quiet lately! Fine then, I'm not talking to you until you tell me why you haven't been listening to me lately!
FTC #4: Don't Fight Destiny by SaladBarBlues10-19-03 *click* zzzzzzzzzzzz... Hey, what were you doing sleeping in my room? This is MY room. What are you doing in here? Oh! Wrong room... I've had a little too much to drink. I'm sorry I bothered you. Wait, well in that case, maybe you wouldn't mind a backrub.