All comics by Saraneth

Profile

 

by Saraneth
10-29-03
Hello. I'm officer copyright infringment.
And I'm a French God by the name of Tikiwawa.
Well... I'll be hosting the show.
Mmhmm.

 

by Saraneth
10-29-03
It happened a long time ago... nine days to be exact.
O Tikiwawa! Grant us the oppurtunity to be your next meal!
O Tikiwawa! Grant us the oppurtunity to be your next meal!
Tikiwawa was sacrificing members of his cult again.
Of course! BWAHAHAHA!!
Dammit, Tikiwawa! You're in violation of your probation... again!
But something didn't quite feel right in that place...
Let Tikiwawa go, Officer Copyright Infringment!
Let Tikiwawa go, Officer Copyright Infringment!

 

by Saraneth
10-29-03
...something told me to leave... but did Benadict Arnold run away? Did Hitler run away when he lossed WWII? I think not!
You're all under arrest
I am thy God, Officer Copyright Infringment.
We will not go down without a fight.
We will not go down without a fight.
Fight's over. Everyone in the squad car.
I refuse.

 

by Saraneth
10-29-03
Get in the car.
ok.
The cult really creaped me out.
This world shall fall!
This world shall fall!
Eric, since I'm back in jail, could you bring forth the Apocolypse via Christianity for me?
ok.

 

by Saraneth
10-29-03
As the world fell...
HAHAHA!! Vatican City is an all Christian country now!!
...only one man can save us
Jesus! Save us from the evil of Tikiwawa!
We must destroy Huston, Texas!
I don't see what that will do...

 

by Saraneth
10-30-03
Meanwhile, in Huston, Texas...
Oh shit! Jesus, what do you have to say for yourself? You better have a good reason for destroying Huston!
Well, it's a long story involving Dairy Queen, three of the four Horsemen of the Apocolypse and an albino mouse.
But then all hell broke loose!
I just realized! This story has no plot!
Get used to it. None of Sar's creations have plots.

 

by Saraneth
11-02-03
Welcome to Saraneth Wonderful World of Sara-
WORSHIP THE MIGHTY DULCIMER.
Look. We talked about the dulcimer. It is not a God. It just gives you that impression because there is a self-cleaning sink to go with it.
...
DULCIMER. DULCIMER. DULCIMER. DULCIMER. DULCIMER. DULCIMER. DULCIMER. DULCIMER. DULCIMER. DULCIMER. DULCIMER. DULCIMER. DULCIMER.

 

by Saraneth
11-02-03
Kerrigor, you must help me. The mighty dulcimer and it's self-cleaning sink has taken over the world of robots! We must save the inaniment objects!
yes.
DULCIMER.
I'm sorry, Wizzy. I'm gonna have to pry you apart with this hammer!
I'm telling you, Sar, I don't want my tax money going to a tenth circle of Hell!
Kerrigor, please try and understand. I do not enjoy being in this trash can.

 

by Saraneth
11-02-03
Kerrigor, we must do something! If we do not, we will find ourselves in a world of turmoil ruled by stringed insturments! Get your cake cutter! There is only one thing left to do.
Yes.
I have retrieved the cake cutter. Let's chop that little menace into small, bite sized, indegestible pieces!
We must be sneaky. We must strike like the panther!
Pfft. Time reversal technology. Like THAT'S a real wrench in the works.
Lowered I.Q.. Big deal.

 

by Saraneth
11-02-03
Kerrigor, I have a plan.
Forget your idea! If I have to face anymore of those unknown perils, I think I'll have to hurt you. I mean, come on! I'm already an eight-year-old kid! I'm the strategist for the moment.
Kerrigor decided to listen to the saying "If you wait long enough by the river, the bodies of your enemies will float by.".
Kerrigor, I am very, very hungry. Please let me have some of our ice cream.
Screw you.
Meanwhile, deap in the forest...
I got something!
CRAP.

 

by Saraneth
11-02-03
Kerrigor, we have waited long enough. And seeing as how you look like your normal self again, we must have been waiting for several years.
I concur. What is your plan?
My plan is this: I will wear this ingenious disguise and deceive the robot into walking into a tiger trap!
I will have the ambulannce awaiting you.
WOW. A REAL LIVE PIRATE. IT'S MY DREAM COME TRUE.
Weren't you shot? Um... I mean... arrrr...

 

by Saraneth
11-02-03
Kerrigor, we have waited long enough. And seeing as how you look like your normal self again, we must have been waiting for several years.
I concur. What is your plan?
My plan is this: I will wear this ingenious disguise and deceive the robot into walking into a tiger trap!
I will have the ambulannce awaiting you.
WOW. A REAL LIVE PIRATE. IT'S MY DREAM COME TRUE.
Weren't you shot? Um... I mean... arrrr... Hehe... A... uh... nice robot factory you 'got here.

 

by Saraneth
11-03-03
A PIRATE. WOW. I ALWAYS WANTED TO MEET ONE.
Indeed! I am a real pirate. I am not a poser!
YOU SEEM TO BE HIDING SOMETHING, MR. PIRATE.
Um... er... no ... uh... certainly not! um... arrr...
You see? This is why you should always plan ahead.

 

by Saraneth
11-03-03
You know... I've been known not to put my trust in robots...
SARANETH WILL BE FINE. HEHEHEHE. FWAHAHAHAHA.
You seem uncannily jolly about something. Anything I should know about?
NO. IT WILL ALL BE FINE.
...Is there some sort of underlying trend here? This all seems very suspicious.
PLEASE. I AM A PROFESIONAL. SAY, HAVE YOU SEEN MY BIG, RUSTY OPPERATING GARDEN SHEARS?

 

by Saraneth
11-03-03
Mr. Robot, I hired an attorney and I got my cake cutter. Please refrain from doing anything that would further injur the pile of ashes that was once Sar.
I AM AN INNANIMANT OBJECT. I FEEL PAIN NOT.
Hello. I am Mr. Kerrigor's attorney. I got drunk and watched Matlock in a bar last night, but I think I got the gist of it.
YOU CANNOT SUE ME. I AM A ROBOT CONSTRUCTED FOR MEDICAL PURPOSES. WHAT WILL YOU SUE ME FOR? HAHAHAHAHA.
Three quarts of oil and a rubber ducky.
HEY HEY. LET'S NOT GET PUSHY OR GREEDY.

 

by Saraneth
11-03-03
HERE IS SARANETH. DO NOT SUE ME.
He appears to be damaged... Are you sure he got five star treatment?
OF COURSE. WE ARE PROFESIONALS.
You said that and I have come to doubt it. But you seem like a trustable sort of guy.

 

by Saraneth
11-03-03
Kerrigor, thank you for retreiving me.
My God, things are looking down for Microsoft.
Are you even listening to me?
No. And I have an attorney, so back off.

 

by Saraneth
11-03-03
Meanwhile...
May I take your order?
I want a cheeseburger, please.
The cheeseburgers are cursed.
Um... yeah... in that case I would like a medium fry to go with that, and a medium Pepsi.
The fries are cursed, but the medium sodas are only somewhat cursed. The Diet Pepsis carry a terrible curse.
I don't like this restaraunt...

 

by Saraneth
11-03-03
My God! A robot! There is only one thing to do...
The deed is done...
Are you sure that was a robot? I mean... It looked alot like an innocent bystanderd...
You think you can do better? I just had a bad restaraunt experiance.
Well... I hate to argue with the man with the scythe, but I have to say, I can do better.

 

by Saraneth
11-04-03
He looked at me funny. The rage engulfed me and I found myself hacking apart that fast food clerk.
You really have it in for fast food. That's your third fast food clerk this week.
How might you know that? Most of them were just spokespeople. GOD!! Just thinking about fast food spokespeople makes me mad!!
Is that a common mental disorder? By the way, something in my head is saying "FORESHADOW!" "FORESHADOW!"
I get to be the spokesperson for McDonalds!

 

by Saraneth
11-04-03
Hey everyone! I get to be the spokesperson for a popular fastfood chain!
Death awaits thee.
Kerrigor, why do so many people want me dead latley?
This all seems very unorthodox.

 

by Saraneth
11-04-03
The question you have to ask yourself is this:
Will Saraneth live? What happened to Kerrigor? Will he take the job as a McDonalds spokesman? What happened with that rabbit who had a shotgun?
Well folks, Episode I is over, but tune in next time for Episode II: Chapter I. Saraneth and Kerrigor!

 

by Saraneth
11-04-03
Hello, ladies and gentlemen. I have many things to attend to, so your host for tonight will be my sidekick, Eric. A.K.A. Ninjasofmeijer.
Sar, as cool as you are, how will I host-
Sar?
It doesn't seem fit for me to host tonight... but ok.
I will be your assistant. I, as I'm sure you know, am Saraneth's agent.

 

by Saraneth
11-04-03
Um... so how about I tell about when Sar and I found a Daemon exiled from Hell, locked in the Abyss by villain as vile as Milton's Satan?
First of all, it WAS Milton's Satan. Second, if you glorify my role into looking like the hero...okay.
But I was the one who got you out of the Abyss!
Um...let's forget about that and just get on with it...
Okay...out of curiousity, how do you want me to portray that event?
I destroy the very entrance to Hell with force enough to toppel Satan and destroy worlds, while three women in bikinis ride to my call.

 

by Saraneth
11-04-03
Okay, so standing, innocent was Saraneth pawnning was I sitting when I heard a noise.
So you say if I give you the deed to the English Channel, you'll give me a stolen watch... okay.
Sar, I think the English Channel is worth more than a stolen watch...
Eric, my friend, I do beleive you are incorrect. Geez. You think I'm stupid? You just want it to traffic drugs! The English Channels are worth three dollars and twenty-nine cents each!
Those are British wigs...
You and your stupid ideas.

 

by Saraneth
11-05-03
Eric, my friend, this is our big break. One English Channel for a Rolex?
Sar, I don't think you understand. There is only one English Channel! It's between France and Great Britain, used to transport goods and has been swum many times.
I could've sworn he wanted to get rid of the BBC so Coupling would never appear again...
That WOULD have been a break...

 

by Saraneth
11-05-03
Meanwhile, in the bowels of Hell...
Mr. Satan. I am very, very sorry. It will never happen again.
I'm not sure if we'll ever be able to get that melted rubber off the ceiling! You are banished to the realm of the Jim Beluschi Show!
No!!! Anything but that!!
No, I'm just joking. We aren't capable of that measure of horror in Hell. You go to the Abyss were all the rejects go.
Hi. I wrote and composed the soundtrack to Scarface...
NOOOO!!! THIS REALLY IS HELL!!!

 

by Saraneth
11-05-03
Sar, did you hear that?
Yes!
That's a scream! Who do you think is screaming?
Listen...
Oh, someone got the Scarface soundtrack for their birthday.
Poor soul.

 

by Saraneth
11-05-03
Are you sure you don't want to hear more 1986 pop music?
I CHOOSE ETERNAL TORMENT!!! SOMEONE LET ME OUT!!! PLEASE!!!!
ANYONE BUT THIS GUY!!!
Hello, I'm Bob Barker.
I take that last one back...

 

by Saraneth
11-06-03
Please, Mr. Barker! Don't say anything!! I beg you!
And the prize is... Your very own Tiki God!
You're my prize?
I was short on cash. What do you want me to say?
You locked yourself in the Abyss for all of eternity...
Hey, I got payed $50. It was a good deal.

 

by Saraneth
11-06-03
I've never been over here before...
That's because it's Hell.
It doesn't really look like Hell... I think you're nuts.
Take a look around. You'll soon see that it's Hell, alright.
Sar! What's going on? I just saw a Jean Claude Van Damme look-alike!
It's true!! This truly IS Hell!

 

by Saraneth
12-09-03
Welcome to the dreaded Discovery Awards, where the real winners are left out!
Our first category tonight is Best Clan! Before the announcment is made, everyone had a fair chance at winning! So lets give a round of applause to Tantalus!
I'm Black War, and on behalf of the Crusaders, I will kill you.

 

by Saraneth
12-09-03
That'll teach that stupid announcer not to pick my Clan!
Gosh, Black War. Maybe you shold express yourself through feelings rather than violence.
Saraneth, shut the fuck up. You belong to Tantalus, so I'm going to kill you, too!
Gosh, Black War, those aren't very kind words.
Riley had a stick person for an avatar before you did.
I'm kickin' your ass.

 

by Saraneth
12-09-03
Yes, Mr. Moderator?
Saraneth, this is your FIRST OFFICIAL WARNING for killing Black War. If you receive three, you are banned from Final Fantasy Discovery forums. Have a nice day.
You can't be serious. I killed an S-Mod, and I get a warning? I'm going to jail anyway. You may as well ban me.
...
Anyway, FIRST OFFICIAL WARNING.

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