All comics by ShAdOwSwOrD

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by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-21-02
Johnny recieves testicle implants to please his ex-girlfriend Kelly...
But I love you honey!
MY GOD! What did you do to your testicles?!?!
Kelly seems to be reconsidering the brake-up...
Well, first they put me to sleep, then they made an incision under my right...
Not the details! My god! They're HUGE!!!
Johnny's back to his old tricks...
so...big....so....good....
Yeah baby I know, so I guess we can do what we always do?.....hehehe

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-21-02
Lesson 1: Don't Playa Hate
Hey bitch what's poppin'?
Ugh, Jerky just get a life, i've found someone else!
Lesson 2: Look At The Benefits Of Every Situation
Oh, i'm sorry bitch, is he some weak-ass freak? you know you still want my nuts hoe!
Well....*giggle* I guess I still miss all the nights of raunchy sex...but my new boyfriend would get angry...
Lesson 3: Don't Steal A Kangaroo's Girl
Oh so YOUR the squirrel....haha
oh shit....

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-21-02
Ah, Integration of the Mentally Handicapped...
Mister, *giggle* your funny!
HEWWO SUZEE!
Young Love...
*giggle* I love you Charlie
I WUV YOO TU SUZEE....DAAAAAA
The Rejection
Charlie, do you have a girlfriend?
Yes Little Suzie, It is very unfortunate but I already have a spouse of which I share my love, secrets and reproductive fluids with, I think it best that you go....DAAAAAAA!!!

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-21-02
Don't Mind The Demon...
Dude, Life is like, it's like WILD man...it's like WOW man, you get me?
GET AWAY MORTAL!!!
The Truth
SCREAM SLUT, SCREAM FOR MOMMA!
OUCH!!! Dammit why do I put up with this woman?
I'm Lost Completely
Do you practice safe sex?
Duhhh....

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-21-02
*sigh* my girlfriend for 4 years just broke up with me, my mom died yesterday, my uncle ran over my dog and I failed the big test in school today, what will I do?
Shit man...that's life...What the fuck? did you take my cigs?
*sniff* I'm gonna end it all! *sniff*
You took my fuckin' cigs didn't you? if your little pussy-ass doesn't commit suicide i'll finish the job bitch!
*WAAAH* GOOD-BYE CRUEL WORLD! *WAAAH*
Good man, teach you to steal my fuckin' cigs...fagget

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-21-02
So man, what's up?
SPILL THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT!!!
Haha, True Dat...True Dat
I WILL TEAR THE MEAT FROM YOUR BONES!!!
Hey man, Don't be all "DIE MORTAL!" like that again, you chopped of Billy's head, and his crew is pissed
MWAHAHA, LET THEM COME, AND LET THEM FALL! HEIL HITLER!!!

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-22-02
Sometime in the Future...
Yes! The Humans Have Been Taken Over By Robots!
Robot's Will Rule The World Forever!
Hey man why did you robots destroy our city and stuff?
SHUTUP! You pathetic primal organism! Us superior robots will rule the world FOREVER!
I wonder what's on M.A.S.H right now...
That human sure has a nice ass...

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-22-02
At an Upstate-Ohio Middle School...
Sup' homie, You keepin' it real?
I'm poppin' caps and takin' names, dog
I love you...
I want to have anal-sex

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-22-02
A Prostitute Meets A Client In A Cheap Motel Room...
It's $20.00 for a BJ, $30.00 for straight sex and $50.00 for anything else
Ha, You'd better not pull any cheap tricks on me, slut!
Ok BJ it is, after we're done that'll be $20.00
Oh yeah, OH yeah baby, SUCK IT, HARDER, UGH, UGH, UGHHH!!!
Ok Sir, That Will Be $20.00 Please...
WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-22-02
"Ok Ladies and Gentlemen, Next Up Is The Master Of Titan, Tork!"
Haha, So I was on the Clartok Moon, and as i'm ripping the guy's head off, he screams out "QeRTEkIEklE", HAHA, now isn't that great?!
"Ugh, Now Next On Amatuer Night Is, The Grim Reaper!"
Uhhh, yeah so like I reap souls, and that's why they call me the grim REAPER, get it? hehe, funny huh?
"Next Is The Gay Jiggalo, Spanky!"
Oh yeah, Squeeze my Nipple, OHHH!!!
"WOOOOOHHH, YEAH, HAHAHAHAHHAHA!"

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-22-02
One Day In Hell:
Hello, My name is Draco, I'll be your guide here in hell
Woah, I'm in hell? What for? I went to church everyday of my entire life!
Well before the extremely large suicidal women landed on you from a skyscraper you did something rather, bad...
Really? What did I do?!
Well... You ripped off the "Do Not Remove Under Penalty Of Law" patch on your mattress!
What The Hell?!?!

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-22-02
First Of All Sorry To Who Ever Made This Comic First, All I Did Was Borrow The Title
Sh..Sh..Sh..Sharron, Wenna say uh sh in the ske in nan it lom is so flippytee flap
Oh Ozzy, You don't need any more Heroine, after the last drug run we should be set for atleast a week!
Sh..Sh..Sh..Sharron, Imi inso dasbo in um eth uh vit soa me do kip!
Ozzy, Don't worry about those damned warts, they should pass over soon enough!
Sh..Sh..Sh..JACK! BRING ME MY...MY...My...SHARRON!!!!! WHERES THE...THE...THE...THE COCAINE?!
Seriously Dad, Do you have to be so damned retarted?!....fucking wanker

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-22-02
Satan Meets Jesus On The Day Of His Crucifiction
You sure you don't want Life Insurance? You might need it in let's say, oh, two hours...
No thanks Lucifer, I'm sure i'll do fine without it
What a wussy, now see how your relatives will feel once they don't have any money for burial costs you dumbass!
Well Satan, my "relatives" happen to be...
Woah, Didn't see that one coming by a longshot...
GAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-22-02
Two Caucasion Kids Learning Common Teenage Slang:
Yo Yo Yo Westside Homies up in this BIZAAATCH!
We Kickin It For REAL Dawg, Werd Up G!
All Of A Sudden His Friend Bursts Into Flames!
A Demon Shows Up! He Hates Rap By The Way...
MWAHAHA! DIE!
Oh shit homie....

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-23-02
Kevin's Girlfriend Found Out He Was Cheating On Her...
*WACK* And take that you pig!
*ARGH!*
*WHAM* And That!
*OUCH!* But baby, I can explain!
And It Seems Like His Explaining Worked!
*mmm* oh yeah *mmmm*
Oh yeah baby, suck it more! (i knew she'd believe it was my mom!)

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-23-02
A Public Service Announcement
Did you know having too much sex can give you 43% more cancer?
Really? Wow, We should stop having lots of sex then
Cancer isn't THAT bad...
Let's go get a room!

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-23-02
One Day In Harlem...
Hey foo, You want sum' bitches?
Uhhh...Ok!
My Names Sarah, I'll Be Your...
Fuck No

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-24-02
The Day Of Truth...
Give It Up Jesus! You Are NOT God's Son!
You Will See, He Will Come...
5 Hours Later...
HA! Its been five hours and he hasn't shown! You will die and go to hell you lier!
Praise Be The Light, He Is Near!
Son! You Are Finally Here In Heaven!
Oh Fuck.

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-24-02
Somewhere In The Forest...
Hmm, I should get out more, this nature thing is fun!
Oh No! A Human! I must run to Master Fast!
Oh Well, I guess the city isn't so bad...
*WHOOSH!*

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-24-02
In The 6th Floor Hallway Of A Luxurious Hotel...
Pardon me sir, but do you happen to know where the elevators are located?
I don't know, why dont you jump through one of those windows over there and see if its around?
Beg Your Pardon?
Oh I'm sorry, you must be deaf from all the stupid blocking your ears, buzz off idiot
Well he's rather rude
What a dumbass

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-24-02
One Day, In The Forest
KiKi!
Get away squirrel, I don't wanna talk to you
KiKiKiKi?
Grrr, Get away squirrel, im warning you!
A Sudden Transformation Occurs...
KIKIKI!!!
OH, SO NOW THE LITTLE FAGGET RUNS!

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-24-02
The Grumpy Chicken Wakes Up On Christmas Eve...
Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! What do you want Mr.Chicken?
I want you to get the hell out of my house before I beat the shit out of you
Ho! Ho! Ho! There Is No Reason To Be Angry Buddy!
Fine Fucker, Your Dead
Ho! Ho! AHHHHHHH!!!!
Ha, I'm feelin' the Holiday Cheer already...

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-24-02
What's Your Stand On World Peace?
God: Everyone Should Live And Prosper!
Satan: Peace? What's That?
What's With Men Having Nipples? Which One Of You Made That Happen?
God: Why, It Was Me Of Course, Males Shouldn't Miss Out On The Fun!
Satan: He's A Dumbass Isn't He?
What About The Word "Dog Pound"?
God: It's A Place To Put Cute Little Puppys When They Have No Home!
Satan: Verb

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-25-02
The Grumpy Chicken Sits At His Comp Chatting With Fellow Gamers...
Fuck Me? GTFO Cocksucker, AND LEARN TO STRAFE IDIOT!
1 0WN J00 MU7H4 FVKK4
STFU, Atleast i'm not running on a .5 GHZ!!!
H4 H4 H4, SVK 4 D1K
Screw the internet!
1 0WN 411 J00 FVKK4S

 

by ShAdOwSwOrD
8-25-02
At The Crime Scene...
So the little boy was related to you?
Um, Y-Yes officer I believe that is correct
Then what was he doing in your trunk with duct tape over his mouth and a dildo up his ass?
U-U-Uhhh, U-Ummm....
H.Q. This is car 11, We need backup immediately on a Gay Priest at large, I repeat, he is at large....dammit that's the third one this week!

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