All comics by St_Elmos_Fire

 

When artists find comic creators... by St_Elmos_Fire 7-06-03
Comic Creator: For the lazy and ill-talented. This comic creator is decent...at best. I'd rather illustrate my own work. These character options are too limited.	Illustrating your own work, eh? That's an excellent idea! We're terrible illustrations anyway! At least you're simple to draw! Look at me! I'm at a frickin' angle here! What the hell is with THAT??	...what the hell? 'Says here we're ACTUALLY being used by a skilled artist. What's the world coming to... WTF?? Where'd you get that letter? AND WHAT IS WITH THE BACKGROUND???

 

When artists create stories. by St_Elmos_Fire 7-06-03
We meet back up with our protagonist. It seems he is still in distress. Let's see what happens... Oh god this thing is terrible! Cease this creative-sucking nonsense! Heya dude! Don't do that!	...wait, where'd that cute little girl go? And who are you?! Girl? I saw her disappear with a few ill-tempered fellows a moment ago. Might want to help her lad...oh, and I'm Gramps!	Ah...that's too bad. Which way were they heading? I think we were hitting it off... That'a way, sonny! Before you go on your adventure, mind if I ask your name?

 

Cliche pedestrians and party-members abound! by St_Elmos_Fire 7-06-03
After telling his name to Gramps, we find our hero, 'Eric', in search of the main chick... According to these directions the old man gave me, she was with a few men known as the 'Axzuk' going south... HEY!!!!! WHATCHA DOIN'?!! GOTS a LETTAR THERE?? GRUNT WANNA SEE!!!!!!!!!!	No, I'm sorry. I'm looking for a few men who took this girl I liked...I think. I can't be bothered right now. GRUNT SAW MEN AND WOMAN!!!!! THEY HEADED THIS WAY!!!! FOLLOW NOW!!!!!!!!	Wait...that's east. The old man said south. You sure about this? I don't feel comfortable around sad, little, shouting freaks... GRUNT KNOW WHAT GRUNT SAW! FOLLOW OR EAT YOU I WILL!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Another Love Interest? by St_Elmos_Fire 7-06-03
Eric follows Grunt eastward. They appear to be heading toward a city... COME NOW!!! GRUNT SAW LADY AND MEN IN THIS GENERAL DIRECTION!!!!!	I've been following you for hours you moron! All we've seen are a few footprints, and a dog pee'd on my leg! You better know where you're going...	AH!!! FOUND THE LADY!!! YOU OK, WOMAN-PERSON?!?!?! Hi there. I'm Eliza! I'm doing great!

 

'GRUNT'ing in the Bushes. by St_Elmos_Fire 7-06-03
Eric is impatient with Grunt's terrible leadership. However, they seem to have stumbled across something...or rather, someONE... What have you found, you retarded little... I FOUND THE WOMANZ YOU LOOKING FOR!! SHE IS ELIZA! GRUNT FEEL STRANGE AND EXCITED!!!!!	Eliza? Crap! I never knew the chick's name. Did Gramps know? Heya, sugar. You doing ok over there? Your little friend is scaring me...	OH HOLY NIGHT! That is one SEXY 'womanz'! Gotta keep cool...gotta keep cool...I have another damsel to rescue... ...yeah, your little friend is over there in the bushes now. He seems to be making strange noises while playing with something in his lap...

 

The plot thickens... by St_Elmos_Fire 7-06-03
Um...Hi...I'm Eric. You wouldn't happen...to..like..know where a girl and some men went, would you? I'm looking for *sigh*...someone. No, sorry. I haven't seen anyone except you and that noisy fella. Is there something wrong?	Yeah...well...ok, here's what's going on. I met a girl, and she was wearing the cutest little school-girl outfit and standing in dynamic fighting poses! She was captured by... "School-girl outfit" and "fighting poses"?? That sounds a lot like my sister, Sara!	...oh...lovely... Wow! She is quite the fighter! Her fighting style has actually been internationally recognized! She was going to fight in the 'Axzuk' tournament coming up!

 

The Axzuk by St_Elmos_Fire 7-06-03
'Axzuk' Tournament?? The Axzuk! That's the group Gramps was telling me about! They were with Sara when she disappeared! Oh no...Daddy warned her about them...	Who are they? What did your Dad warn her about? The 'Axzuk' are a group of fighters who travel the globe looking for the best fighters. They hold tournaments to find the strongest combatants. However, the Axzuk aren't known for being easy or fair..	I'm afraid they may have kidnapped my sister, and who KNOWS what people like the Axzuk will do with someone as strong as her... HEY!!!!!!! QUIET UP NOW!! GRUNT IS SLEEPY AND EXHAUSTED!! DISTURB AND EAT YOU I WILL!!!!! (GRUNT NEED CIGARETTE...)

 

Grunt is irritable. by St_Elmos_Fire 7-06-03
I don't suppose there is any way out of this. I gotta help this girl find her sister. Maybe there will be something I could gain out of it...? They may have been heading into the city. The "Champion's Circle" Fighting Arena is located at the city's heart, and I'm sure the Axzuk would bring a worthy fighter there!	Alright. I came here looking for your sister, and I won't let some band of fighting thugs scare me away. We'll head to Champion's Circle and get Sara back! You'd do that for her? Awww, how sweet! I didn't think you would be the romantic type!	This is only the surface of my Romantic side, baby. I'm bound to be someone's Knight in Shining Armor someday, and it looks like today is that day! Look out Axzuk, here comes Eric! GRUNT WARNED YOU!!!!!

 

Grunt's Eat-n'-Run by St_Elmos_Fire 7-06-03
Grunt isn't one to lie. Keeping his word, he consumed Eric, and 'deposited' our hero within City Limits.... ...ugh...damn Grunt. I knew that guy was trouble... Eric! Are you ok? I thought you were dead when that friend of yours swallowed you whole!	Yeah...I'm ok...I only sat inside that crazy idiot's stomach over night! I'm sure you were having a grand time OUTSIDE of Grunt's digestive tract!!! I'm sorry. I was worried about you...	...Don't be sorry. I'm just a little stressed is all. I found myself in this crazy comic, thought I had a girl, then went on a wacky adventure with a retarded beast overwhelmed by Tourette's Syndrome. *Tee Hee* We all have our sour days! Turn that frown upside down and let's go save my sister!

 

'The Crew' analyze Battle of Britain. by St_Elmos_Fire 7-11-03
Battle of Britain : Good Map...for Raping the British. What's wrong Eric? Oh, it's the new Battlefield 1942 map, Battle of Britain!	What's so bad about it? I thought it was rather ingenious! The objective-esque style gameplay is unique to the game... Yeah, well, the IDEA is interesting, sure, but that's in a perfect world! Damn allies wanna IGNORE the Factory, the most important thing they have, and camp planes! Even worse, no airfield spawnpoints	Ah. So they drive the new Willys out to the airfields, and don't repair the Factory, right? I know what you mean. If the Allies lose the factory early, the British are pretty much screwed. The British don't even need to lose the Factory to be 'screwed'. The Germans have that flying fortress Ju88 on their side. They're screwed regardless.

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