All comics by TakeMeToYourLizard

Profile

 

So, not only do you charge me a fiver to see your latest piece of hollywood crap, you're trying to make two thousand percent profit on your soft drinks too?
And HOW MUCH for popcorn? It's corn and bloody AIR, why does it cost three quid per cheap cardboard tub? Are you insane? What kind of people pay for this stuff?
I thought you were going to the cinema tonight?
At least NTL only rip me off once a month.

 

Want to come over later and play Magic?
I'm not sure I agree with the 'Pay to Win' ethos associated with Magic these days. Doesn't thought and strategy count for anything? Can't I build a workable deck without needing a second mortgage?
Look at this cool new dragon.

 

A man in Germany just paid me £30 for an old board game.
What are you going to do with the money?
I thought I'd spend it on some more board games.
Why not put it in the bank? You keep saying how poor you are. You'll probably need it at some point for food and bills.
Sheesh.

 

I don't want a first mortgage, why would I need a second?
I'm happy with my girth already, thanks.
I doubt I even have an FBI profile.
Why would I want to see a girl do that with a horse?
Why do companies spend money on e-mails offering me things I obviously don't want?
Wow, says here I can make my breasts up to 20% larger!

 

Well met, stranger. I have heard tales of a legendary artifact guarded by the most fearsome beast. Join me, so that we may triumph against evil and return victorious!
iS it least +5 coz i got this l33t sword from my friend?
Online RPGs suck.

 

I saw this great TV programme yesterday, about how aliens are among us already, influencing our lives and bending humanity to their will.
You don't really believe that rubbish, do you?
Why not? It could happen.
How could they possibly manipulate us without us ever being aware of it? I don't recall ever being told what to think by anything that looked remotely like an alien.
Heh heh heh

 

What's up with you?
I spent 5 hours playing Team Fortress non-stop. Now my hand is cramped, my eyes are watery, and I keep hearing noises from the game in my head.
I'm not going to ask.
Medic!

 

So what's it like to not be a student any more? I bet you're rolling in cash now. You can afford anything you want!
Well, there's things like tax and...
You can go out all the time, the evenings are totally free for you!
Well you see I don't get home till...
No more exams, no more essays. Wow, I can't wait to get a proper job!
A year from now, you'll remember this conversation and cry.

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