All comics by TheGerman

Profile

 

by TheGerman
1-23-03
Have you ever considered posing for playboy?
No...
Oh

 

by TheGerman
1-23-03
Hi, what's your name?
Bruce
The Truth Comes out..
What do you do for a living Bruce?
Let me show you...
Bruce is GAY!
What are you doing?? That hurts!
Shut up

 

by TheGerman
1-24-03
Do you know how fast you were going?
No
Oh... you don't..
That's right.
Bruce Narrowly avoids conflict
Well then, looks like everything is all cleared up then.
Looks like it.

 

by TheGerman
1-24-03
So you're the guy who started all this fuss.
Sure.
Gaydar is the ultimate spidey sense
Before we start, I'd just like to tell you I'm..
Gay? Yeah I can tell these things.
Do you know how fast you were going?
No

 

by TheGerman
1-24-03
So you're satan...
Yup...
Shit

 

by TheGerman
1-24-03
I'm Billy
I'm Bruce
I'm Billy
I'm Bruce
I'm Billy
Fuck you.

 

by TheGerman
1-24-03
Do Asians turn you on?
no.
Do Cowboys turn you on?
hell no.
Does fire turn you on?
yes.

 

by TheGerman
1-25-03
Hey you... Who are you?
Do you really want to know?
Yeah.
Ok you asked for it.
Fuck.

 

by TheGerman
1-25-03
Me
Hi, I'm TheGerman and I look nothing like this guy in real life.
I thought I should introduce myself because I am new here.
You
This might be what you look like.
Or you may look like this
Us
If so, fuck yourself.
My name is TheGerman and I'm an Alcoholic

 

by TheGerman
1-25-03
So we meet again..
That we do...
So.. guy..what now?
hmm...
What're you doing, that's my disk drive!!
Shutup

 

by TheGerman
1-26-03
Bruce, where do babies come from?
The Tension builds
Well?
Christ, you were being serious?

 

by TheGerman
1-26-03
The Funniest Comic Ever
So this chick is completely naked and I'm laughing my ass off...
yeah, and then?
Director Commentary
What I was trying to do with this strip was explain the irony of "the funniest joke ever"
I knew by taking out the middle frame and changing the last frame based on this change, I would get a much better feedback from the comic reading community.
Two Words: Child Molestation
I don't know who that was, but I think we need to go to my place and think about it in my bed.
okay.

 

by TheGerman
1-26-03
I shot my grandma today.
Cool.

 

by TheGerman
1-26-03
Fag
Deragatory remarks such as that will not fly in this strip.. I mean comon, making fun of someones beliefs like that..
Fag

 

by TheGerman
1-26-03
Hey you wait up.
What?
Nothing.
Damnit

 

by TheGerman
1-26-03
Wanna hear a joke?
Sure.
That it?
Yeah..
Oh.

 

by TheGerman
1-27-03
You won't get this inless you play warcraft3
Fuck

 

by TheGerman
1-27-03
Hi
Hello
Bitch

 

by TheGerman
2-02-03
so let me get this straight...
what you're saying is, I convinced you to have sex with a half-goat-half-man and now you are going to give birth to a mutated hideous child?
yeah, that's about right.
so.. what's the problem?
god damnit.

 

by TheGerman
2-06-03
So, Bruce, who did you vote for in the last election?
Nixon.
Isn't he dead?
sure.
oh.
yeah.

 

by TheGerman
2-06-03
Hey Bruce, I heard some kids talking today at school, can you clarify something for me?
sure.
What's an erection?
Hey man, where you going?

 

by TheGerman
2-18-03
So you were dead?
Ya, I was entangled in my embelicle chord, it was wrapped around my neck and body several times... they figured I like to twirl, I figure I was commiting suicide... but I was blue and had no heart
I probably should have died then...
Hahahaha
I mean.. shit that's sad
Fuck you, thoroughly.

 

by TheGerman
2-18-03
That was a piss-poor movie
Piss-Poor? ... That sounds like something my grandma would say...
You mean the grandma that died 2 weeks ago from breast cancer?
...
... what?

 

by TheGerman
2-19-03
So what did you think about tweedle dee?
fuck you.

 

by TheGerman
2-19-03
You see that rake?
Yeah I do, what about it?
I fucked your mom with that rake.
oh.

 

by TheGerman
2-19-03
I think I need to shit out a Kidney
Heh
I've had 13 eggrolls in as many hours..
God damnit, eggrolls aren't THAT good
But they're supreme eggrolls, they are like herion or cocaine, or that other drug that's as addictive as both put together
hmm.. cocaine huh?

 

by TheGerman
2-22-03
So what's up?
Just got done watching a movie.
It wasn't, Legally Blonde... was it?
... I couldn't find the remote and my leg's were broken
Can't bring yourself to admit you like that movie either?
...no

 

by TheGerman
2-22-03
Ping!
Pong!
Honestly, fuck you two.
Ping!
Pong!
Hey buddy can you hand me that shotgun? ... Yeah that one, that would be great.

 

by TheGerman
2-22-03
Do you have a light?
Yeah sure buddy, I got a light right here.
Let's see how he likes this light. 40 years of darkness should make him think twice about smoking.
So... uh about that light...?
Oh fuck you.

 

by TheGerman
2-22-03
The first rule of Fight Club is: "You do not talk about Fight Club."
The second rule of Fight Club is--
You don't talk about Fight Club?
Interupt me again and I'll kill you.
Opps...

 

by TheGerman
2-22-03
Good Charlotte huh?
Yeah... I'm meeting them backstage.
One of my friends went on tour with them as a roadie... or was it a groupie?
Oh yeah?
Oh well either way he came back ass raped.
Fuck.

 

by TheGerman
2-22-03
Mr. President, estteemed members of Congress, the press, I have made a life altering discovery...
Soylent Green is people!
Jesus Christ, get off the stage faggot.
Who're you?
We drew straws and it's my job to kill you..

 

by TheGerman
2-25-03
So the other day I ran into Robert E. Lee and He was all..
Damn, you black.
*And I was all* Damn you racist.
Then I slapped that son of a bitch.
tru dat.

 

by TheGerman
2-26-03
I've got some candy in my van.
Cool! Give me some!
So where's the candy?
Right here!
Hey, give me my clothes back! What are you doing? Get that out of there you pervert! Owhh Ouch! ...Wait, this kind of feels good.
You're god damned right it does.

 

by TheGerman
2-27-03
So you come here often?
Oh Jesus Christ.
Yes?
The fuck?

 

by TheGerman
2-27-03
You hear Mr. Rogers died?
No.. wait, yeah.
**********************RIP**********************
Rest in Peace Mr. Rogers, you filthly bastard you.
You're a fucking cunt.
This is true.
Thankfully, killing a priest isn't a sin.

 

by TheGerman
2-27-03
I haven't played Kingdom Hearts in like two days...
Slut get going.
But I have to hook up three goddamn cords...
...and that's so much fucking effort isn't it.
Alright, you talked me into it, I'll go make a burrito.
God fucking damnit, you're a godamned queer, I hope you know that.

 

by TheGerman
3-02-03
Fuck all

 

by TheGerman
3-02-03
What is your trouble my son?
I'm lovesick.
No seriously, what's your trouble?
I'm lovesick.
Get the fuck out.

 

by TheGerman
3-05-03
You've Got Mail!
Alright.. just click open mail and...
You've Got Mail!
The fuck?
You've Got Mail!
Where's my gun?

 

by TheGerman
3-05-03
You know I give, and I give in the relationship, and I never get anything in return..
That's got to be hard.
Yeah sometimes I just feel he is using me for sex.
Yeah well...wait, did you just say 'HE is using you for sex'?
Yes, yes as a matter of fact I did.
This is great, you just had to be a fucking ass packer didn't you.

 

by TheGerman
3-12-03
Hi, I'm Bert.
Hi Bert, I'm Ernie.
We're gay aren't we.
We certainly are.

 

by TheGerman
4-02-03
FUCK YOU. PLEASE JUST DIE.
You're a fucking piece of shit.
I know, and you love me for it.
I'll show you fucking love, where's my claw hammer.
Please fuck off.

 

by TheGerman
4-02-03
You know there are many reasons for economic depression.
Go on.
First reason is you're a bitch.
I see.
Second reason is that I fucked your dad.
Cool.

 

by TheGerman
4-02-03
I need to explain something to you before I die.
You're dying?
Yes, now shut up and listen.
You must kill your family.
Fine, but only because you're dying.

 

by TheGerman
4-02-03
Hey Family you in there?
Yeah Billy, come on in, it's open.
Don't mind if I do.
Die you Nazi fucking shit eaters.

 

by TheGerman
4-02-03
So did you kill your family?
Yeah, it was a mess.
HAHAHA Shit.. you did?
Yup. So how long do you have to live?
I'm not dying, I was just messing with your head.
Mommy! NOOO!

 

by TheGerman
4-02-03
I ever tell you the one about the hooker with the dysentary?
Yeah.
Well let's pretend I didn't.
No, you fucked it up last time.
Yeah but last time I wasn't drunk.
Oh, so that IS Jack Daniels I smell.

 

by TheGerman
4-02-03
Let's watch some random mortals.
I'll get the popcorn.
So I'm fucking this Nun, and some angel comes down and tells me I've sinned and I'm going to Hell.
Hahaha, yeah I remember that, then you called him a faggot.
That was you, wasn't it... are you gay?
He's bound to that cross, I could get in a rape or two easy.

 

by TheGerman
4-28-03
Oh I live up in Redmond
Oh do you mean Edmonds cause I know there is Redmond and Edmonds up there.
No no old man, I wasn't lying when I said I lived in Redmond, you're very senile.
Whahugaht? Oh hmm.. Yes

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