All comics by Thecomicman

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by Thecomicman
1-22-03
The famous bull-comedian.
...And I think it's not funny! I am serious!
Whahahahahaha! He's so funny this guy!
Why didn't they let me fight in Spain!? This is hell!
Whahahaha!

 

by Thecomicman
1-23-03
Jo, what the fuck are you lookin'at mothafuckin'pimp.
You wanna fuck one of my bitches?
Eh, allright man.
I'll get you a bitch you won't ever forget man.
At the hookers place...
Damn, this mothafucker was right. I ain't forgettin' this shit.

 

by Thecomicman
1-23-03
At the graveyard
Ghost of my evil grandfather ARE YOU THERE?
I knew it. It's bull-shit. Ghost don't excist. My best friend lied to me.
Haha, why did I believe this sucker.

 

by Thecomicman
1-23-03
The whole world is destroyed by aliens
Now let's go home and celibrate
Yes, we're done here.
But later on...
...and I told him not to forget the police-station!

 

by Thecomicman
1-23-03
Why ain't we fighting? We are natural enemies.
I don't know. I'll ask someone.
Good question of me.
Well? Why ain't we fighting?
Cause we lived 15 billion years ago. We're dead.

 

by Thecomicman
1-23-03
Well, it's your time now mister.
Must I die so soon?
I see the light. Heaven, here I come!
Damn!

 

by Thecomicman
1-23-03
RING RING
I am not at home, please enter a message after the beep.
Bin Laden! This is Bush! I know you're there!

 

by Thecomicman
1-23-03
I'm here to kill you basterd!
Why? I only had sex with your girlfriend. What's the matter?
YOU! YOU! You...
You realy had sex with her? How did you do that? She never wants me.
Allright, I'll learn you.

 

by Thecomicman
1-23-03
Ehm, I believe you don't belong here fish.
Well, I am a very special kind of fish. They call me the "Landfish"
Never heard of me?
Fuck you.
Why doesn't anyone believe me.

 

by Thecomicman
1-23-03
At a party...
Hey. Like this party?
Got some pills?
Stupid fuckin bitch.
But...

 

by Thecomicman
1-23-03
Got some peanuts?
No, fuck of.
Got a siggaret?

 

by Thecomicman
1-23-03
Yo rabbit. You know what time it is?
It's christmas. So what.
Well, what do people usually eat when it's christmas?
well...
Damn.

 

by Thecomicman
1-23-03
Hey! Stop eating so much.
Fuck you. I'll eat whenever I want.
If you stop eating so much, I'll allow you to fuck my wife tonight.
Oke.
His wife opens the door...
Yes?
Hey, wanna go to a restaurant with me?

 

by Thecomicman
1-23-03
The year 2023. Evil Genetic manipulated kangaroos attack the white house.
Allright Kangaroos! Let's open fire!
Our last hope. The squirrel killer-machines.
AAH!

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Hey Bull, they say you allways say something after you've gone to the bathroom. What was it again?
What? That's bull shit!
Whahahaha!

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Stephen Kings: "The Axe"
ur ur urrrr
ur ur urrrr
aaaaaaaaaah
Eh, lady, can you help me chopping a tree?

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Ho, ho, ho. Hey little kid. Want some candy?
I am not a kid anymore. So don't treat me like one!
Oh, in that case... got some cocaine?

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Someone sent me a letter. 'Dear Steve, I am so in love with you. Love Jennifer'.
Steve, my name is also Steve. I think that letter is meant for me.
hmm, well, I've got the charmes, so it must be for me.
He allways talks like that, me, me, me!
later that day...
Hi, I am Jennifer, are you steve?
No, I am Johnny, Steve is in the bedroom, wating for you.

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Year 3088
Allright, finally we will destroy Earth! Hahahahaha!
Wait! Return to base! Return to base!
Allright, crew, head back for Far-awayus IV. What's the matter now Quyoya?
I got to see a doctor. My anus is bleeding!

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
booh
booh
booh
booh
uhm, what are we doing right now?
I really don't know. But, hey, it's pretty scary huh?

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Hey Jesus, son, what's up.
Could be better, God.
I just wanted to say I am going on vacation for a week.
Allright, can you get me of here now?
Nah, that would change the whole bible.
God dammit!

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Hey dad, did you know we have a virus?!
Uhm, no.
It says: 'My wife is an ugly bitch'
Damn, I typed it.

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Hey everybody. I am here to tell you! Smoking is bad for you!
Cut! Allright, this is good enough for the anti-smoke comercial.
allright.
Can anyone get me out of this costume so I can smoke a cigarette?

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Hey, are you a whore?
Yeah, want to have some real sex?
whoooooooaaaaaaaa, I'm having a boner!
Uhm... nah, just interested.
oh... okey.

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Groaaar! Groaaaar!
Look out! Behind you!
Groaaar! AAAAAAAAH! Don't kill me!
I said LOOK BEHIND YOU! Whahaha! That monster has the same face my wife has!

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Fucking Bitch: 0 points Mothafucker: 0 points
Fucking bitch: 300 points Mothafucker: 0 points
Let's do something else man. This game sucks.
What? I just kicked you! Bitch-ass!

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
I am walking in the desert for two weeks now. No food, no water, I am not going to survive this.
All I got is this hammer and this nails. Guess I'm gonna kill myself now.
Hey, what are you doing? Aren't you comming to get something to drink?

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Someone is having a nightmare!
I am the ARM of death! WHAHAHAHAHA!
And I am exually a man!
What's the matter honey? I heard you scream.

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Hmm... it's a little bit dark in here. But maybe I'll find something usefull. They will be suprised when their TV is gone tomorrow.
Guess that's the homosexual male-prostitute I ordered. Well, let's get bussy.

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Steve Irwin. Showing us some animals in Australia.
Would you jast luuk at that aaaanimol!
That's me first time I see this animal in wild here!
Allright Steve. This is the last time you show your ugly face here.
Whoooaa, it exualleeey is a speaking kangaroohw! It's me most strange moment in laaaive!

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
I've allways been sorry for the last woman in line...
... When God gave women some tits.
Thank You God.
Here you go. Only three pairs of big hooters left. Who's next.

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Twin brothers sitting in the park.
Hey brother. Are we sitting here all day?
I was just about to ask you the same thing.
Come on, let's walk around.
Fuck him, I was just watching naked girls.

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Twin brothers. Walking around. Talking 'bout some serious shit.
Brother, you got to stop using drugs.
Ofcourse brother. I am also a "allway-slisten-to-mama-and-daddy" guy. Just like you.
Allright brother. I'm glad to hear that.
Fuck this guy.
Brother. Are you really sure you don't use drugs anymore?

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Brother, you never listen to my words. You lie to me. I believe you even hate me. And you also hate to look like me.
Brother, why do you think that. I love you, and I love to look like you.
Brother I like to hear you saying that. Now I know you mean it.
I don't mean a fuck of it.
So you realy like it to look like me huh?
Yes brother.

 

by Thecomicman
1-26-03
Who the fuck are you?
You don't know what day it is? It's Revenge day. The day that everyone can take revenge on their enemy. You allways kill flies so I am now going to kill you!
Oh, well, in that case...
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
AAAAAAAH!

 

by Thecomicman
1-30-03
Why are we here?
Well... let me tell me a story about a man and a chicken.
The man had nothing to eat. So the man thought he could eat the...
This story sucks.
Eh..allright. Once in a time their was a farmer, he wanted to earn some money...

 

by Thecomicman
1-30-03
This man is exually an eliphant but he doesn't know how to tell his wife...
This is the way he tells her.
I gotta tell you something. Everytime I am horney I change into an eliphant.
Whahaha. My ugly crazy grandma doesn't even believe that.
See?
WHAT!? Does my ugly grandma make you horney?!!! You asshole!

 

by Thecomicman
10-09-03
One way to make friends
Hello boy, do you know where the bathroom is?
Fuck you, go shit in your pants man.
Wait bear, don't go... sorry I just said that, the toilet is just around the corner.
Did I allready tell you my grandfather was a pornstar?
Cool

 

by Thecomicman
10-09-03
Another way to make friends
Wow! Where am I?
This is hell!! And I hate you!
why?
Because I hate God! And God created you!
Really? GODDAMMIT!
Ever been to Vegas?

 

by Thecomicman
10-23-03
Hoh hoh hoh haaaaaaaaaaaah haaaaaaaaaaaaaah hoh hoh hoh
Shut up monkey, I'm trying to do my homework.
homework, homework, homework, homework!
Oh my god, now I am starting to see talking animals, this late-night homework is killing my brains, I've become an idiot.
Want a banana?
Yeah whatever.

 

by Thecomicman
10-23-03
At school, lunchtime. The nerds are having a conversation.
Gee, something strange is happening to me. I think I am in love with Angela. I've never loved a girl before. Well... except my labrat.
Please be quiet, I am doing my homework for next month, I've got to hurry up.
Well, allright I'll wait here, tell me how it went.
Allright, I'll ask her what she thinks about having a relationship with me.
Later on..
Well? How went it?
Better than I expected, I even made physical contact with her!

 

by Thecomicman
10-23-03
Hi Angela. Have you desided yet?
Desided what?!
If you would wanna go out with me?
Boy, FUCK YOU!
Oh yeah!
F.. f.. errr... AH, SHUT UP!!

 

by Thecomicman
10-23-03
hey, I can see you in front of me. You smell good and you have a nice white color.
You´re wrong dog.. I smell bad and I am black.
I´m gonna eat you!
Well, do what you have to do but do it fast.. I´ve got feelings you know.
What the... SHUT UP you fucking dumbass! I was talking to this bone.

 

by Thecomicman
5-06-08
At the Hospital
I've HAD IT doctor! This patient... this.. this.. OLD CRAZY MAN!!! He's telling all kinds of dirty stuff to me!
Oh, I'm sorry for you nurse Betsy. What's he saying?
He says he wants to put his you know what inside my you know what.
Hell yeah "I know what".
NOT THAT YOU PERVERT! He wanted to put this thermometer inside my mouth.
Damn

 

by Thecomicman
5-07-08
allright now I've totaly had it, we are always the first cartoons, we're always here saying welcome to our stripcreators, and they NEVER use us in a comic.
Yeah! And the boss should pay us more.
Maybe we should quit our job here !
Yeah let's do that. Oh and to the m*ther f*cker who's watching us right now; Get out of our sight or we will kill you!
Kill him won't be posible sister. We can't move. We are no real people.
Oh yeah that's true, maybe we can kill ourselfs, thats also a good idea, don't you think?

 

by Thecomicman
5-07-08
Good evening ladies an gentleman this is channel 3 news!
The Asian girls from the so called Tree reasons groop were found dead in their own comic last evening. Blood was all over the place.
The two ambulances came too late. After investigation, the f.b.i thinks the girls killed themselves. The party is tomorrow evening with a lot of beer and exotic dancers.

 

by Thecomicman
5-07-08
Ah you and your sister finally made the choice to kill yourself! Good, good.
.......
........
Damn, you're boring, can I trade you in for someone else?

 

by Thecomicman
5-07-08
Allright, allright. I'm one of the oldest characters of the comicman, cause my first show was in 2003 that's 5 years ago. See famousbullcomedian part one and two.
Pretty amazing huh?
I was your biggest fan at the time. Remember? But listen, I don't like you anymore I go to the famous onion-comedian now. You know why? I am a VEGETARION now. Whahahaha

 

by Thecomicman
5-07-08
...and that was 5 years ago, and now I tried to make a comeback but they don't like me anymore.
Aw, sweet bull. I'm so sorry for you. Maybe you could stay here and we can make babies.
No I can't stay I found a new job. I have to begin tomorrow.
Oh allright, but if I ever see you again, we can make babies.
If I knew my new job was Bullfighting, I would stay and make babies.
Come on you freak, let's fight!

 

by Thecomicman
5-07-08
The famous bull-comedian fought and fought...
But he didn't make it. He died in the pit.. at the age of 21
And his once biggest fan? All he got was this stupid mice. Later he also died. He ate too much onions.

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