All comics by Vellocet

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by Vellocet
2-03-06
Rrrr...
RAWR!
Dude, what's your problem?
I'm the token scary character.

 

by Vellocet
2-03-06
You don't look so well...
I don't feel so well either...
What happened last night, anyway?
I started a fight with my best friend, lit my hair on fire, and had relations with a dog.
Uh...huh...
Maybe I should quit drinking.

 

by Vellocet
2-03-06
Ok, that last comic was rushed... and I have a feeling this one will be rushed too...
My editor's such an asshole.
NOTE: 'hmmmm' means the character is thinking or working.
Damn, only an hour left...
Hey, I've got it! *hmmmm*
DONE! It's FISH HOOK MAN!
Woo, it's scary, wooo.

 

by Vellocet
2-03-06
HAHAHA! Hit with a radioactive exploding jar of mayonase at birth made me... THE MAYONASE MONSTER!
Note: Fish hook man could not be drawn due to time, so we have substituted that evil paperclip in his place instead. C'mon, it's close enough
Oh, no! IT'S FISH HOOK MAN!
FUCKIN A' IT IS! I WILL MAKE YOUR COUSIN MY BITCH!
EXPLODING NIGHTCRAWLER ATTACK!
AUGHHHH!! DEFEATED AGAIN! I SHALL RETURN FISH HOOK MAN!
P\/\/|\|3|) X 3000 X CHUCK NORRIS!

 

by Vellocet
2-05-06
Superbowl XL
Here we are on the thirty-fourth, and there is a fourty yard holding penalty on the Seahawks.
Third down, INTERCEPTION FOR THE STEELERS!! Blocking called on the Seahawks.
Generic call fourty-five on the 'hawks. Seventy-five yard penalty. STEELERS WIN!!!
That was the fairest game of football ever.

 

by Vellocet
2-07-06
Ok, let's see. I finally got the Ultra-Mega sports package. Let's see if I can watch the Av's game now.
Sorry, channel is blocked. Please upgrade your sports package.
What!? Oh, fine, another 20 a month can't hurt.
Processing...
Alright! Now I have the Mega-Ultra-Uber Sports package. Now, Avalanches on Channel 453!
Sorry, channel is blocked. Please upgrade your sports package.

 

by Vellocet
2-07-06
After being woken up by a loud bang.
Wha- What the fuck is going on!? Excuse me! What's going on here? Strange things around...
Just some spring cleaning.
HE! he hehehe...
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?

 

by Vellocet
2-07-06
*GASP* Oh, god, *WHEEZE* we have to hurry.
*COUGH* *GASP*
We don't know when...
OH GOD! RUN!
I'M STILL FUNNY! I SANG THAT SONG! THIS BAR-NONE DEAL WILL WORK!
AIEEEEEE!

 

by Vellocet
2-07-06
You like that don't you dirty boy?
OH GOD YES!
YOU CAN DO IT! OH YEAH...
YES YES YES! OH GOD... I THINK... I THINK I'M GONNA...

 

by Vellocet
2-07-06
OOOH! This cutie wants to talk with me. Thank god that I put up that photoshopped picture!
OOOH! This cutie wants to talk with me. Thank god that I put up that photoshopped picture!

 

by Vellocet
3-14-06
GRARR! The zionists destroy this nation! They dilute the pure! America is too tolerant!
RAAWR! Whites still tryin' to own us! We all bein' held down!
SWEET! Sanford and son marathon!

 

by Vellocet
3-14-06
One day on the ranch.
So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
Ha Ha.
So, did you teach him how to use the T-console, then?

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