All comics by VitaminCoin

 

by VitaminCoin
6-14-05
Come on sweetheart, cram that big metal penis up my BUTT
What's the matter sweetheart?
I cannot engage in intercourse,
Lemme see your schlong, baby.

 

by VitaminCoin
6-14-05
No no no no, don't funk with my heart
Don't you worry 'bout a thing baby, cause you know you got me by a string baby
No no no no, don't funk with my heart
Dont you worry 'bout a thing baby, cause you know you got me by a string baby
Suck it baby
I wonder if I take you home, would you still be in love baby?
I am in excruciating pain, soon I'll make you feel it too.

 

by VitaminCoin
6-14-05
What are you, a geek?
FIGHT CLUB FIGHT CLUB FIGHT CLUB FIGHT CLUB
Dude, I was raped by a tornado, isn't that weird?
FIGHT CLUB FIGHT CLUB FIGHT CLUB FIGHT CLUB FIGHT CLUB JENNIFER ANISTON
Things were so much simpler in the time before Fight Club
HEY FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB, DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB LOL

 

by VitaminCoin
6-14-05
Time moves slowly in the desert.
The comedian was murdered in the parking lot. His jokes struck a nerve.

 

by VitaminCoin
6-16-05
The dolphin's advances are unwelcome
Hey baby, why don't you drop your pants and come to papa?
If I don't look at him, maybe he'll leave me alone.
The dolphin's patience begins to wear thin
Hey baby, I'm getting pretty mad, you don't want to make me mad.
Fuck you, leave me alone.
A brutal murder and a double cross
She shouldn't have pissed me off.
Now that we're finished with her, I'm going to soak your genitals in kerosene and light 'em up like the fourth of July.

 

by VitaminCoin
6-16-05
Dear lord, my hands are ever so clammy.
Darling, I am electric.
Show me your tits.
I'll show you a place where all you feel is pain.

 

by VitaminCoin
6-18-05
Few times I been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
Cause I ain't no hollaback girl
I ain't no hollaback girl
I don't know, it just doesn't make any sense, I mean, where's the punchline and the observational humor?
No, I totally know that you mean, hold on, I just had a great idea for a parody of the Matrix, "the GAYtrix" LOL see what I did there? GAYtrix?

 

by VitaminCoin
6-21-05
Elvis and Montel Williams
Uh, no offense, but Montel was a black man...
Hey there sweet lady, I got a cigarette jammed in my pee hole
They dyed me this color. That's how clever they are!

 

by VitaminCoin
6-21-05
I'm of a simpler time. A time before industrialization, before the rape and destruction of this great land, when a man was a man and TV wasn't king.
We worked hard, and lived to sustain ourselves. Excess and obesity were farthest from our minds. I come to you now to ask, what's it all about? Do you have the knowledge that I seek?
Hell yea, but it'll cost ya. Hey, could you pass the remote to my new 88 inch plasma screen? Oh, and throw me a couple of Big Macs and an iPod while you're at it.

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