All comics by Zandor_12

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by Zandor_12
6-06-03
You are no match for me, child.
Would you like to see my true power?
BUT JUST THEN, A MIRACLE OCCURED!
Is that how it's supposed to work?
MIRACLE TRANSFORMATION GAIA!!!
It was interesting, I'll give you that.
I think I'm stuck.

 

by Zandor_12
6-08-03
HELLO THERE
...
WHY WON'T YOU TALK TO ME???
would you like to help me rob a bank?
AND SO A NEW PARTNERSHIP WAS FORMED.
...LET'S ROLL.

 

by Zandor_12
6-08-03
IS THIS A BANK?!
...No.
MUST YOU FAIL AT EVERYTHING YOU DO?!

 

by Zandor_12
6-08-03
ARE YOU A BANK?
TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK
At least my hand puppet isn't mean to me.
WHY DID I EVER TAKE YOU UNDER MY WING?

 

by Zandor_12
6-08-03
IS THIS A BANK?
Ho ho ho! No boy, this is the North Pole!
IS THIS A BANK?
Gyorgis! Gyorgis gyorgis mabberna! GYORGIS!!!
NEXT TIME: I REPEAT THE SAME JOKE ANOTHER 70 TIMES OR SO
IS THIS A BANK?
Dammit, I'm your partner, you moron!

 

by Zandor_12
6-08-03
IS THIS A BANK?!
LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE NOW!!!

 

by Zandor_12
6-08-03
YOU MISERABLE WASTE OF LIFE! YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN BORN!
Oh, go melt why don't you?
IS THIS THE THANKS I GET AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU?!
END
...COME BACK HERE!!! ...Please? ...Wait, how did he get out? I don't see a door... I'm so lonely... Boy, it's warm in here...

 

by Zandor_12
6-08-03
Hello I am COWBOY AMERICAN LEADER Z!
I will give you security in exchange for your freedom!
What's a freedom?
GREAT SCOTT! I AM IN THE FUTURE!!!

 

by Zandor_12
6-08-03
I would like to buy your oil!
No thank you.
Your nation is clearly stockpiling weapons and harboring terrorists! I hereby declare war on you, to promote world peace!
Huh?
"I'll just take this oil now, thank you much."

 

by Zandor_12
6-08-03
Well, if it is not AL GORE! Hello AL GORE, I am the president COWBOY AMERICAN LEADER Z!
Oh god no, not again...
I defeated you in an election despite receiving fewer votes!
*SOB*
Does Z know he's been talking to Strom Thurmond for the last 3 hours, Al?
Shh.

 

by Zandor_12
6-08-03
I realize that I have been unfair to a certain politician during the last few comics.
Bashing leaders usually isn't my style, so I would like to apologize.
I'm sorry I depicted you as a robot, Strom Thurmond.
I sure do like pie.

 

by Zandor_12
6-08-03
You know what happened just now?
My computer rebooted, and then, just after it started up, it rebooted a second time! IT REBOOTED WHILE REBOOTING.
The sad part is that I've gotten used to it, because I refuse to admit that I spent $900 on the wrong computer.
All of the programs I use- word processing, internet, old Dos games- everything worked fine on my six-year old computer, without rebooting!

 

by Zandor_12
6-09-03
AND THE ARM CAME FROM THE MRGUE
ka pow
should i run
When you go to heaven St. Peter he will say why'd you kill that turtle now your gonna pay
i didn't kill that turtle. it was just dazed after the paddle hit it.
hurry-up.!!! I'm thinking I'm thinking.

 

by Zandor_12
6-11-03
I WANTED TO MAKE A COMIC ABOUT A PENGUIN.
BUT THIS WAS THE ONLY ONE I COULD FIND.
SO NEVER MIND.

 

by Zandor_12
6-11-03
Hmm... I wonder what I'll do now that I'm not working for that evil snowman.
Pardon me sir, but would you like to join me in a long meaningless plot arc?
Not really.
I can do a happy dance!
Never do that again.
Well, looks like my work here is done.

 

by Zandor_12
6-22-03
It's great to finally be out of prison. Seven hours...thought I'd never get out.
I may not have much, but at least I still have my roaring fire.
Great scot, I have gained the power to melt!

 

by Zandor_12
6-22-03
Excuse me, sir! Would you like to join me in my quest for power and wealth, with an aim towards eventual world domination?
Great scot, a verbally abusive snowman who was sent to prison by the incompetence of his previous ally, and who then after being released from prison melted, and is now back to his old shenanigans!
ITS FUNNY BECAUSE THEY TALK DIFFERENTLY THAN I DO.
Well?
I shall respectfully decline this opportunity to take orders from a puddle. Good day to you.

 

by Zandor_12
6-22-03
Well, look at what the cat dragged in!
He melted. Great.
That's right, and I'm going to use this power to go straight to the top, baby!
And now he's a delusional twit. Glorious.
BACKGROUNDS ARE A CRUTCH FOR THE WEAK.
I shall claim my revenge against you, you miscreant!
And now he's threatening me! OH HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!

 

by Zandor_12
6-26-03
I HAVEN"T GOTS A CLUE
lets go to the city to go rob the salon
I CAN FINALY GET MY NAILS DONE.
FEED A MAN A FISH AND YOU'VE FED HIM FOR A DAY OR IF HE'S AN ETHIOPIAN A WEEK HOWEVER YOU'VE JUST LOST YOURSELF A CUSTOMER SO DON'T FEED PEOPLE FISH UNLESS THEY BUY IT FIRST
WHY'D YOU WANT TO GET YOUR NAILS DONE????
GET THE SPACE SHIP> NOW!!
IN LOVING MEMORY OF CAPTIAN EXPENDABLE JUNE 26,2003 1:45:25 TO JUNE 26,2003 1:45:35
I DON'T THINK THIS IS WORKING JOHN.
ALRIGHT THEN EVE>I MEAN STEVE

 

by Zandor_12
6-29-03
Ha! I am invincible!
You are SO lucky there's not a pic of me holding a sponge.
BUT JUST THEN HE EVAPORATED.
Hn?
MY POWER IS SUPREME!!! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME, MORTAL!!!
This is... not right.

 

by Zandor_12
6-29-03
~OH, I'M A LUMBERJACK AND I'M OKAY!~
Could somebody tell me what the hell's going on?!
It's simple! As the snowman has gone from solid to liquid, and then to gas, the distance between the molecules in his brain has increased, making it more difficult for him to think clearly!
Who are you, and what are you doing here?
...GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY.

 

by Zandor_12
6-29-03
Snowman, you've had the power to restore your true self all along! All you have to do is snow!
Fool! Why would I surrender such great power?!
Because the only thing you're capable of in cloud form is bragging about how strong your cloud form is.
You may have a point.

 

by Zandor_12
6-29-03
It's beautiful!
I think my right arm is missing.
You've returned to your true form!
Who are you lunatic, and why have you forever tainted my memories with your presence?!
...GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY.

 

by Zandor_12
7-01-03
Does my new hat offend you?
What?
How about now?
Are you feeling ok, "Slash"?

 

by Zandor_12
7-01-03
Don't you like my hat?
...You're not wearing a hat.
Sure I am!
...No, you're not.
...I see.

 

by Zandor_12
7-01-03
So, what you're saying is that you don't see a hat atop my head, Zandor.
Yeah, that's right.
AHA! I understand everything perfectly now!
You do?
My hat has become invisible!
NO! INCORRECT!

 

by Zandor_12
7-01-03
Sigh... nobody understands me and my invisible hat.
Tis' a fine hat!
Who are you?
I'm... a banana!

 

by Zandor_12
7-06-03
You can see my hat?
Yes! I ALREADY SAID THAT!!!
We both wear hats; we're like long lost brothers!
I propose that we form a club!
MEANWHILE, IN SPACE:
Where is everybody?

 

by Zandor_12
7-06-03
I hereby call the first meeting of The Organization of Lovely Hats to order! Is there any new business!
I propose that when we vote I win all ties! Yay or nay?
Nay!
Yay!
It is a tie and therefore I win!
Damn you!

 

by Zandor_12
7-06-03
I would like to have a pizza! What say you, fellow TOOLH member?
I propose that your vote no longer count! Yay or nay?
Nay!
Yay, therefore I win the tie! YOU ARE NOW MY SLAVE!
MEANWHILE, IN SPACE:
~EVERYBODY, GET MOVING ON THE DANCE FLOOR!~
Dun dun dun, dun-dun-dun dun dun dun, dun-dun-dun dun dun dun, dun-dun-dun DUN DUN DUN!

 

by Zandor_12
7-06-03
But if you already win all the ties, then why would you need to negate my vote?
I propose that you shut your yap! Yay or nay?
Nay!
Yay!
...
My plan is working already!

 

by Zandor_12
7-06-03
Talk like a monkey!
Ook ook, eek ook!
Look like a donkey!
This is great!!! Now, rob a bank for me, you miserable cretin!
Uh...which one?

 

by Zandor_12
7-06-03
You've got to help me! The snowman's somehow forced me to rob a bank for him!
That snowman jerk, huh? Look, that guy's bad news.
I know that! The hat club was nothing but a sham, he needed a dupe! Look at this gun... I'm in way too deep here, you have to help me out!
I think I CAN help you, actually.
Really?
Yeah, take my gun. It's much nicer.

 

by Zandor_12
7-06-03
You're not listening to me!
What, so now my gun's not good enough for you? Maybe you'd prefer an ax? Knife? Explosive device?
I don' t want you to help me rob the bank, idiot! I want you to help me get out of this!
I'd rather not; I don't want to get involved in this plot arc.
Technically, you already are.
Quiet, you.

 

by Zandor_12
7-06-03
What am I going to do? I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't...
Hello!
Who are you?
...Keep in mind that if you say "I'm a banana", I'll have to hurt you.
Darn, I so love that joke too.

 

by Zandor_12
7-06-03
It's simple! The logic the snowman used to bind you is highly flawed! The vote shouldn't have taken effect unless you won, therefore his basis for winning ties and negating your vote is invalid!
How do you know all this?
I'm a scientist! Also, he negated your voting powers so he could use his tie-breaking powers to trick other club members to do his bidding, basically forming his own private army!
Thank you for this information! But who are you? Why are you doing this?
...GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY.

 

by Zandor_12
7-06-03
MEANWHILE, IN SPACE:
Ah, you there. Could you tell me where I am?
GYORGIS CHROWAY! MAKINA MAK MAK *Strom Thurmond* GYORGIS!
The moon? Bless you, my child?
GYORGIS?
...GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY.

 

by Zandor_12
7-11-03
It's over, snowman! Your devil logic no longer binds me!
Hn? What's this?
I WILL CRUSH YOU!
I WILL CRUSH YOU!
Jinx! Now if you talk you have to buy me a soda!
Dammit!

 

by Zandor_12
7-11-03
How do you like receiving a dose of your own medicine, cur?
You won't get away with this...
What if I were to shoot you? With TWO guns?
He obtained a second firearm? ...wait, why did I even give him the first one?
Have at you, knave!

 

by Zandor_12
7-11-03
...And that's what happened.
Evil snowman, huh?
I don't blame you for not believing me. You had to be there.
Uh-huh.
Yup, a snowman.
You need to stop using Ny-Quil as a sleeping aid.

 

by Zandor_12
7-11-03
Well, I'm glad all the loose ends have been tied u- wait, where's my hat?
Where's my gun?
END
Where's my money?
There's some money in the invisible hat next to that gun.

 

by Zandor_12
7-11-03
Great scott, it's the ghost of Strom Thurmond, back on the anniversary of the night we betrayed him!
I have come here to run for senate AGAIN!

 

by Zandor_12
7-11-03
It's a miracle I survived that. I shall have to be more careful in the future.
Oh... er, hello, twit.
HI.
END (again)
I see you're still mad at me.
Yes, quite.

 

by Zandor_12
7-11-03
I wish he'd stop singing.
Wait, why am I even here?
I wish he'd stop singing.
Dun dun dun, dun-dun-dun dun dun dun, dun-dun-dun dun dun dun, dun-dun-dun DUN DUN DUN, dun-dun-dun!
I wish he'd stop singing.
I wish he'd stop singing.

 

by Zandor_12
7-11-03
I have assembled all the moon's creatures here for a reason.
What is it, Lord?
It is time for the second coming.
Why are you leaving? The apocalypse shall be on Earth, not here.
...right, I knew that.

 

by Zandor_12
7-11-03
Oh yes, that's it.
Hello, my child.
Oh, uh... hi Jesus!
What are those women on your computer screen doing?
...expressing their love for each other in a beautiful, natural way?

 

by Zandor_12
7-11-03
Don't kill me, I'm sorry I looked at pornography!
Relax, my child. That is not why I am here.
...S-so I'm not going to hell?
I didn't say that.
But you just said-
Oh please, like THAT'S the only thing you've done.

 

by Zandor_12
7-11-03
So, Jesus, what brings you to Earth?
I have come to spread the word of my second coming.
Wait, isn't that tied in with the apocalypse and lots of bad things happening?
Probably.
You don't know?
You have to consider the fact that you did no research whatsoever before you started writing this.

 

by Zandor_12
7-11-03
But why are You here in my house?
The first time around, I had 12 apostles who helped to spread my gospel about.
You want me to be an apostle? But why?!
There weren't enough people on the moon- I could only cobble together five apostles.
I hope Pastor David isn't reading this.
This is not my day.
Would you prefer that I pass judgement on you this instant?

 

by Zandor_12
7-19-03
What's a continuity?
And I say that 2 plus 2 CAN equal fish!
...GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY.
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
Seriously.

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