All comics by badcartoonist

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by badcartoonist
11-10-01
Ahh... time to read my mail!
Hmmm... it's from my mom.. it says, "Dear Troy. You were adopted." Hmm.
end.
Well that's a relief.

 

by badcartoonist
11-10-01
What happened to the world, talking bug?
Uhm... Apocolypse I think.
Do you mean to tell me that I slept through it again?!
So I guess Denny's is closed, huh?
no.

 

by badcartoonist
11-10-01
Hey, what ya doing there mister?
Oh nothing!
Then why do you have that hamer in your hand?
I was doing something ok!
ouch.

 

by badcartoonist
11-10-01
Hey, why do you always make matloaf for dinner?
beacuse...
because what?
uhm...
Holly shit! We're on the moon!
it's a meat and a bread.

 

by badcartoonist
11-10-01
Fear not citizen, for I, the Blond Avenger, am here to protect you from harm.
From what exactly?
Bee doo boop op dee
From this killer Robot right over here!
Him? That's my cousin Bernnie.
Well, I'm sticking around untill I get my complimentary blowjob.

 

by badcartoonist
11-11-01
Man, the future is sweet!
Yeah dude.
No more humans or buldings or anything!
Cool.
You're my best friend Cthulhul.
Cool dude.

 

by badcartoonist
11-11-01
Hey Bug.. `member that crazy girlfriend you used to have.
Oh, Sheela?
Flashback.
I love you bug.
I wonder what ever happened to her.
...

 

by badcartoonist
11-11-01
I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100.
...processing...
...the number you picked is 84...
Wow! I've never met a psychic robot before.
...I need to use the bathroom...

 

by badcartoonist
11-11-01
Hey Bug... I was just remembering when we fought that giant hamburger.
uh yeah.
We saved the whole city and they threw us a parade.
right.
And the mayor gave us the key to the city.
you are so fucked up.

 

by badcartoonist
11-12-01
Uh... hey there Laura7. I was thinking... maybe you and I could... uh... you know... uhm... maybe... uh... *cough*... uhm...
well...uhm... I know I'm not a real human and I ate your cat and I'm not outdated technology and I was the one who stole the bowling balls off your front lawn...
and I'm not like those guys you met at Mardi Gra when you showed everyone your tits and got on that video, but I thought maybe we could get some coffee sometime.

 

by badcartoonist
11-12-01
Must not kill. Must not kill. He is my friend.
Hey Cthulhul. Didn't see you in school today. Rene was asking about you. She said she thinks you're cute.
Damn it.
Ahhhh! Why are you doing this? I thought we were friends.
I'm so lonely.

 

by badcartoonist
11-13-01
Hmmm... should I call her...
She probably thinks I'm a jerk.
I wonder if Cthulhul is going to call me.

 

by badcartoonist
11-13-01
Huh? The phone's ringing! It might be her.
Ring... ring...
Should I answer it...? What would I say?
Ring... ring...
I'm so pathetic.
Ring... ring...

 

by badcartoonist
11-13-01
Hey Cthulhul...
Yeah?
Why don't you just call that girl.
Uh... I will...
Right after I watch the Golden Girls.

 

by badcartoonist
11-14-01
Oh... I got an e-mail!
It says, "Dear Cthulhul, I hate you and I wish you'd stop trying to kill everyone and destroy the earth. You are such a loser. -Barry"
I need a hug.

 

by badcartoonist
11-14-01
I think I'll just watch this porn someone threw into the ocean. That'll take my mind off Rene.
Ugh ugh ugh... yeah.
Woah... that guy sure has a big dick.
I feel so inadequate. Mines is only the width of the small glue stick.

 

by badcartoonist
11-14-01
I think I'll just watch this porn someone threw into the ocean. That'll take my mind off Rene.
Ugh ugh ugh... yeah.
Woah... that guy sure has a big dick.
I feel so inadequate. Mines is only the width of the small glue stick.

 

by badcartoonist
11-15-01
I guess I'll call Rene now.
hello?
Go out with me.
Who is this?
uhm.. no.
Cthuluhul... is that you?

 

by badcartoonist
11-17-01
What you've missed: For the last two days... I have been calling Rene...
... and hanging up.
that's it.

 

by badcartoonist
11-19-01
Hey Rob.
Hey Cthulhul.
Remember that time I set the world on fire and enslaved everyone on earth?
no.
I forgot... that's today.
Fuck. I knew I shouldn't have talked to you.

 

by badcartoonist
11-20-01
poop.

 

by badcartoonist
11-20-01
Hey Death, living in the sea changes a demon, you know?
Yeah?
Like my poop comes out in one long strand that clings to my butt... like a fish's poop.
And I have to swim around for a while until it breaks off and I know that a chunk of poop is still in my ass.
That's whack yo.

 

by badcartoonist
11-21-01
Oh Cthulhul... can you teach me how to be funny?
no.
But I can teach you how to love again.

 

by badcartoonist
11-21-01
I'm finally going on that date with Rene.
I got up all that nerve to answer the phone when she called me.
oh shit, I forgot to shave.
Hey Cthulhul.

 

by badcartoonist
11-22-01
Hey everybody! Happy Thanksgiving!
Why am I in a graveyard on this wonderful Thanksgiving day, you might be wondering... the thing is...
I'm lost.

 

by badcartoonist
11-26-01
Hey Cthulhul... let's do something fun...
Like destroy the Earth?
No, I was thinking of Karaoke.

 

by badcartoonist
11-26-01
ok.
Why don't you go up and sing Cthulhul?
I'd like to dedicate this song to a special girl in the audience.
"HIGHWAY TO THE DANGER ZONE! RIDE INTO THE DANGER ZONE!"

 

by badcartoonist
12-07-01
So... call me again okay... and we can go out somewhere else.
Uhm, ok... so how about a goodnight kiss.
Uh... I can't even see your mouth.
I knew I should've shaved.
Uh, uh, uh, give it to me. Uh. Uh. You're so big.

 

by badcartoonist
12-16-01
Ha ha! I have finally created the perfect robot, Quark-bot! You know what to do.
...yes...
...Cthulhul. I am here to take over your comic strip...
Hmm... I knew it was going to happen someday since this strip wasn't really going anywhere in the first place.
...that was easy...
Bye everyone. *sniff*

 

by badcartoonist
1-16-02
Hi everyone...
I am the Love-tron v.2.0.
V.1.0 was destroyed by Oprah.

 

by badcartoonist
2-14-02
So I guess you came to see a strip or something.
Something funny.
I'm such a failure.

 

by badcartoonist
2-28-02
today we're going to do a little experiment. i'm going to try out my invisibility mechanism.
let me just push this lever over here.
there. can you see me?

 

by badcartoonist
2-28-02
for the next few strips we'll be talking to some of my friends. our first guest is secretsanta.
hey.
oh, what a great looking flannel shirt you have on there.
Yeah, I've worn it since high school.
did you know kurt cobain is dead and soundgarden broke up? but i still love you.
shit... I better go change my shirt.

 

by badcartoonist
2-28-02
continuing with our interviews, we have with us pai-bot.
Oh, hello.
how's it going?
Oh, hold on. I think my dad's calling me.
What is it now dad?
Eh Pai-bot. When you going give me money for mah cigarettes?

 

by badcartoonist
2-28-02
alright, on with the show. we have with us JT and buffy.
How's it going bub?
i can't do this with him holding the cat like that.

 

by badcartoonist
2-28-02
in order to conduct our next interview, we had to go to the maze. hey there paul.
heh heh. Cool.
hey paul, stop looking at my robot crotch.
heh heh. I wasn't.
I was looking at your hot robot ass. I'm on E.

 

by badcartoonist
2-28-02
hey there puppykins. what are you doing at the white house at night?
I live here dude.
you live in the white house? that's gotta be cool.
Yeah I get all the food I want and I shit anywhere I want and someone else cleans it up for me.
he so does not live here.
cool, huh?

 

by badcartoonist
2-28-03
do you smell that bear? that's the smell of fuckin' freedom!
freedom smells l ike a storage space?
what?

 

by badcartoonist
11-02-05
The next person I see will be by 500th victim! ARGGHHH!
Hello Pirate-guy.
Prepare to be my 500th victim! ARR!
YIKES!
A victim of the HUG-A-WAR!!!!
Okay dude.... you're creeping me out.

 

by badcartoonist
11-02-05
i think we should go to the gym so we can beef up our scrawny arms!
Fuck yeah.
Then we could get all the hot ladies with big titties.
Yeah mutha faka!
Then make sweet sweet love to them.
But you're a horse and I'm a bear. That's fucked up..... and I'm gay.

 

by badcartoonist
11-02-05
Hi.
Heil Hitler, Der Blaue Reiter.
Man, besides being a neo-nazi, you're one of the ugliest drawings I've seen in awhile.
Did a twelve year old reatarded anime fan draw you?
sob...

 

by badcartoonist
11-02-05
Do you like Coke or Pepsi?
What's that?
Sodas... soft drinks... pop.
uhm...
Did you notice we don't have feet and our legs are just poked into the ground?

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