All comics by bigbarry2u

 

by bigbarry2u
12-27-14
I dream someday there will be a separate movie theater for those who like to talk during the movie, and those who do not.
Uhmm...
That's racist, isn't it?
Yeah, I think it might be.

 

by bigbarry2u
1-12-15
Hey snowman...why dat carrot look all circumcised n shit?
Sweet Jebus...will Summer NEVER get here?
I'm Summer. And I'm here to end this. Any last words?
Don't eat yellow snow!!!

 

by bigbarry2u
1-12-15
Tonight's award for the scientific advances in the fields of gravity and urban music goes to...
Albert Einstein, for his equation e=MC Hammer
'sup, dawg?

 

by bigbarry2u
1-23-15
So, the president interviewed that lady that eats cereal in the bathtub.
Twice. You elected him twice.

 

by bigbarry2u
1-23-15
I need you to go pick up the Saudi king. Tell him I said, "Hey".
Yeah. I kinda saw that coming.
Right this way, your "highness".

 

by bigbarry2u
1-23-15
You're frigid.
Whatev

 

by bigbarry2u
1-23-15
Coach Belichick and Tom Brady claim they knew nothing of the deflated balls...
The NFL is investigating if the official balls were lost.
In related news...
President Obama delivered a speech today...

 

by bigbarry2u
1-23-15
Meanwhile at Disney Headquarters
Look, this measles thing is not a problem.
We should embrace this magical opportunity.
You mean?
It's a small pox world after all...
It's a small pox world!

 

by bigbarry2u
1-24-15
Ayn Rand
A government is the most dangerous threat to man's rights.
It holds a legal monopoly on the use of physical force against legally disarmed victims.
Aw, give me a kiss while I raise your taxes.

 

by bigbarry2u
2-09-15
Ok, tell the patient its time for the procedure.
Are you sure you want to go through with this?
Oh, yes. Oh yes, yes, yes!
Good news: The operation was a success. Bad news: You're still in Texas.
Oh, piddle. Can you give me a lift to Vermont?

 

by bigbarry2u
2-10-15
A plane crashed in Taipei shortly after takeoff, killing at least 30 people.
This reporter was onboard that flight, and I did everything I could to save them. It was horrific. It was terrifying, but I knew I had to be brave.
This is Brian Williams reporting for NBC News...
Not for long

 

by bigbarry2u
2-13-15
I'm giving you a citation for making balloon animals that are both ribbed and lubricated
And i hope you make a scene, because I LOVE arresting clowns.
Why is that?
They make funniest faces when they are tasered.

 

by bigbarry2u
2-15-15
Meanwhile,
at the Grand Opening of
Fifty Shades of Grey...
Nope, still not working

 

by bigbarry2u
2-20-15
What's wrong with you, old man?
I'm sad. Terribly, terribly sad.
Why?
At home there is a 21 year-old underwear model who only wants to have every kind of sex imaginable with me.
And?
I can't remember where I live.

 

by bigbarry2u
2-22-15
Meanwhile, at the Oscars
What more do they want from me? I have been martyred in my underwear!!
Sorry, Neil Patrick Harris. Doesn't matter. No black Oscars. You're done.

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